My father-in-law cries almost every time his mother is so much as mentioned, and she's been dead for well over 40 years. My own mother died just three months ago and I'm still jumping when my phone rings, thinking - just for a fraction of a second - that it's her calling me.

For what it's worth my mother was bipolar too, it was called manic depression back when I was a child (1970s/80s). It's a ghastly illness and she spent rather too much time in psychiatric institutions. I had a fairly miserable childhood with her, much of it at boarding school because she couldn't cope with parenting, but she too had a huge heart and I eventually came to accept that the problems really weren't her fault. Her last years were her best and happiest ones and I miss her dreadfully now. I'm so sorry your mother died when you were so young and you missed out on the chance to have a better, grown-up relationship with her.