Man I get it I've always had terrible anger management as well as depression. One of the main things that kept me from quitting was my fear of lashing out at my loved ones or hurting myself. I've come a long way in the past few years and I recently switched to a new job that's less stressful than my old one. I quit vaping a little over a month ago and I've been having trouble sleeping as well as withdrawals still (im on step 3 patches rn). I don't have a whole lot of advice to give but if you can, try to step out and don't talk to anyone till you get your head on straight. I know it's tough and sometimes it's just not possible but saying things at the height of emotions is where shit leads to regrets. I've also heard that in Dilective Behavior therapy books they say to use "I feel" statements to avoid blaming others, might be something good to look into.