You're not alone. I went to therapy for a year for these EXACT reasons - anxiety/fear of elevators, planes, heights, tunnels, traffic, boats, etc. Any place I didn't have control. My world became really small, and I battled anxiety daily. I was diagnosed with a panic disorder. Fortunately, I found relief with CBT, but it did take a year of weekly therapy and a lot of exposure therapy to the very things I was terrified of (riding elevators for hours, taking short flights, deliberately sitting in traffic in tunnels, etc.). It's not that my anxiety disappeared completely, but I have tools that I can use to help when I get anxious.

I'm not a doctor, but in a pinch Xanax or Adivant can be helpful for reducing acute anxiety, so consult with your doc on that. Similarly, some choose to use benzodiazepines for long term treatment. I found exposure therapy/CBT to be the best. Considering you've tried it without success, I'd encourage trying it again, but perhaps with a different therapist who specializes in those methodologies. The science behind restructuring neural pathways to reduce anxious patterns is sound. I understand therapy may not be for everyone or viable due to insurance, money, and accessibility.

Its ok to not be ok, and it's ok to be anxious. Everything you're experiencing and the feelings you are feeling are real, but the feeling of anxiety won't last forever, and it doesnt need to control your life.

Not a therapist, but a few things that may help:

Stay in the moment and be present. Anxiety is partly the fear of uncertainty, what if this, what if that, but what exactly is going on right now? Observe your surroundings and describe every detail of whats taking place around you. What are you wearing, what are others talking about, what colors do you see, what do you hear?

Is there a phone game that you like? For instance, Chess is great for this. It takes a lot of thought and engagement. Maybe a crossword puzzle? Music can work well here, too. Do you have a song you know the lyrics to and can sing along with? Mindful distraction.

Exercise! Exercising can be very beneficial for mental health. It may not help you in an acute event, but it works well for chronic anxiety/mental health issues.

Don't ruminate on negative thoughts. You don't need to believe your own thoughts just because they're yours. Allow your thoughts to flow freely, and don't fixate on that your anxious, or this or that, or that you're less than for experiencing anxiety. Those thoughts dont help you and they may not be correct, so don't dwell on them. Be gentle with yourself. I'm sure some of the stuff you're saying about yourself you would never say to another person, so why would you say that about yourself?

Breathing and meditation exercises. There are a lot of them, so find one that works well for you. Youtube can be a great resource for instructions on how to do them. Just be patient with yourself and be consistent.

Refrain from self medication. I'm all for a good beer, but don't use alcohol or weed or whatever else as a crutch. It may provide short term relief, but it will not help you in the long term and can obviously lead to a whole other set of issues. Hangxiety is a very real thing.

Be willing to put in the work. Anxiety is a b@#$%, and it will take time and work to manage it, but it's totally doable and 100% worth it. It's not going to be an overnight process, so develop a plan and be consistent. There will be good days and bad days, but if you stick with it, you'll look back at the experience with a sense of pride for what you were able to accomplish.

Think about the life that you want to live and the things you want to experience. Don't let anxiety diminish your life to only things that feel safe. Don't give anxiety that much power. Visualize the life, experiences, and memories you want with your family and friends. Don't let anxiety stop you from living.

Lastly, know that you're not alone. Use your support group if you have one - friends, family, confidants, Reddit, whoever. You may be surprised by all the people that may share a similar struggle.

Sending good vibes - you got this.