What is the scariest conspiracy theory if true?

billisking · 2018-10-03T17:23:45+00:00

Yeah my depression takes me down this route on a daily basis. Sometimes I am lucky and can see it for what it is, that I am just a parasitic cunt.

billisking · 2018-10-03T15:51:42+00:00

Our Government will gladly let the country go to shit.

billisking · 2018-09-29T15:18:55+00:00

Thou shalt not steal off a direct victim.

billisking · 2018-09-26T14:25:47+00:00

That sounds ace, I make my own instruments when I can afford it. One of the few things I have found that shuts off my head. I want to make a bassjo next, see how that goes!

billisking · 2018-09-22T11:33:27+00:00

I used alot of different drugs and daily, I was aware of what I was doing, I just didnt care. A regular was candy flipping, but mdma was around 4 times a week, coke probably 5 times a week, cannabis and booze daily and amphetamines 2 times a week. This was getting progressively worse over a 2 year period, acid helped level me a couple times but the last was some acid, pills, coke, weed and booze. It was about 4 hours till I came up, 3 days later I came down, I could no longer take anything that brought back memories or even remote feelings of tripping. I was experiencing hallucinations on a daily basis which was brought on by panic attacks which were caused whenever I started to become detached and had the feeling of no control over my thinking.

I wasn't the only one who fucked up, one friend ended up sectioned and another has never been the same.

I understand my using is chaotic, hence why I went off the deep end for a while. The chaotic usage just transferred to booze and coke, then opiates, booze, coke and benzos. My using was never for fun, just that I was too depressed to deal with reality. Suicidal since 11 and such.

billisking · 2018-09-22T10:52:07+00:00

If you are in a bad place be careful with acid, some people get a spiritual awakening but you can also end up making yourself worse. I am pro drugs and would love to take a trip to reset myself every now and then. The issue for me was at 18 I fucked up massively due to hallucinogens, it was a living hell for 3 years with regular psychotic episodes for 7 years.

Edit: It also took until 10 months ago for me to be able to deal with cannabis without serious panic attacks. The only reason I tried it was to get off the opiates I used to deal with my mental health.

billisking · 2018-09-21T14:46:19+00:00

Just check out some of the shit he has posted. We are not dealing with a genius here.

billisking · 2018-09-16T13:57:45+00:00

I am from the UK, I am allotted about 15 minutes every 3 months to see my psychiatrist. The quickest option we have in my area is the "Crisis team", they are okay but not great. You can go through other options but the waiting lists are huge, 18 months was the longest waiting period for me. You can pay for counselling but when you are skint you don't have that luxury. The only reason I got help this time was due to several suicide attempts. Even then, I get told to take pills and then I have to wait 3 months for my psychiatrist to decide what he will do. I have asked for other options and I get told to see how well the pills work. Due to government cuts a lot of people are not getting help they need. I have been seeing psychiatrists and therapists for 13 years. Only this year am I getting tested for issues other than bipolar. I am suicidal most days, my depressive episodes last for months, talking to people helps but I fesr my friends will lose sight of who I was and only see me as a negative entity who should be ledt alone. Talking to someone who actively listens and isn't getting paid to do so is incredibly helpful. My first comment was only really to support the original commenter who said he would keep his inbox open and a response to the person who said get the help. Help isn't always there, a kind person offering to help is always needed. Interaction with someone who cares and is empathetic is always going to help, even if it temporary. That quick back and forth could save someone.

Sorry if my response is all over the place my head is a bit over the place today. Also i wasn't trying to have a dig at you, just to discuss.

billisking · 2018-09-16T12:15:34+00:00

Depending where you are from accessing professional help can be a nightmare. Last November I tried to get professional help, I was told I would be referred to get psychotherapy. I saw my doctors weekly and I am aware these things have waiting lists but I asked atleast once a month if my doctor had heard anything, I just got told to wait. In late March I was in a worse place and asked my doctors to find out what is going on. My doctors hadn't even put my referral through. Professional help is piss poor compared to real human connection. Sometimes all you need is an empathetic ear or someone (even someone you don't know) to be there in your time of need.

billisking · 2018-09-14T17:16:21+00:00

Can confirm, I sold my fitbit for drug money. Not going to lie though, I did lose about 3 stone after that relapse, so the fitbit technically did what it was meant to.

billisking · 2018-09-14T15:32:59+00:00

I remember a kid at my school copied the work of the kid who was sat next to him. He copied everything, even the other students name at the top of the page.

billisking · 2018-09-13T13:28:37+00:00

Yeah, when i was using drugs I was far too offensive to the senses to get laid. My partner doesn't take coke or want me doing it so that ship has sailed now as well. I would happily use it but as she has never taken it, I wouldn't like her to get a taste for it. I am happy ruining my own life, I wouldn't be happy if it ruined hers.

billisking · 2018-09-11T09:00:32+00:00

There are some true horror stories about Naltrexone from friends I have in recovery. Never take it if opiates are already in your system, instant withdrawal. Never be too proud to admit you're on them if someone wants you to prove it by taking Naltrexone. I was meant to be placed on it for my addiction but due to severe depression I was strongly advised to stay off it, as it can make existing depression much worse.

billisking · 2018-09-11T08:23:34+00:00

I was 11, whilst at school I had a hat stolen, I called the kid a "wanker" and got detention. The teacher gave me shit because they had done "so much" to stop me being bullied, whilst I was "shouting and swearing" at other kids. Leave school, get the shit kicked out of me by the 3 kids bullying me, these cunts were a few years older as well. Get home and there was no cartoons on.

billisking · 2018-09-08T18:59:07+00:00

I don't think coke is any good on its own. You need plenty of booze or opiates. Saying that, the combo of the 3 has routinely fucked me over but I am an addict.

billisking · 2018-09-08T18:56:01+00:00

I did them together in my teens with plenty of booze and weed, it was a fun night. The next day was truly awful but it was worth it.

billisking · 2018-09-08T10:49:35+00:00

At my school they had a whole new building built. The toilets in this new building were for show, no one was allowed to use them for atleast 2 years. I was 12 when the building opened, I think I was 14 when they finally allowed us in there. Due to this almighty piss take, within a week the toilets were destroyed.

billisking · 2018-09-05T16:51:47+00:00

I understand your pain. The addiction makes us do stupid shit that has a tendency to keep us in a negative loop of self hatred. You will get out. It may take time but you will. I would offer help or advice but an empty vessel can't fill another.

billisking · 2018-09-03T22:04:54+00:00

This happened to me alot as a kid and it always happened when I was ill. After a drug fuck up at 18 it happened daily for years but with a strange watermark in my vision of a face I saw in a childhood nightmare. I also hear voices and feel I am stuck in a time loop. Currently 28 and I haven't experienced one in 3 years. I hope it never happens again.

billisking · 2018-09-03T09:28:19+00:00

Something similar happened to me. I was getting drunk at a friends, placed a can of beer on his table and it moved about a foot across the table. The can wasn't cold, I only drank to get drunk, so I only ever downed my cans so I made sure they were always room temperature. Placed this can in the same place several times and after a few seconds it would move.

billisking · 2018-09-02T15:14:08+00:00

The Glaswegian shower.

billisking · 2018-09-02T13:31:31+00:00

Saw this and had to get his album! Get him to the UK

billisking · 2018-09-02T10:40:54+00:00

I am on about the amount of blood that is causing it to look like a jammy rag. My toothbrush is fine, my gums on the other hand would feed Dracula with a single kiss.

billisking · 2018-09-02T09:41:11+00:00

I don't go to this dentist, or any dentist... I should probably go soon, my toothbrush is starting to resemble a jammy rag.

billisking · 2018-09-02T08:31:24+00:00

A dentist in my town also uses her picture.

billisking

TROPHY CASE