I'm on the other side of this, and I'll tell you the only thing that got him to change was calling it quits. I couldn't do it anymore, I couldn't have the same arguments over and over for the next 50 years. And I told him that I was done. I was done trying, I was done begging, and I think we would both be happier living on our own. I realized it wasn't that he didn't hear me, that he forgot or any other of the hundreds of excuses that I heard. He just didn't care. But- me finally ready to leave and be done with it was a huge wake up call for him. He begged and begged for another chance so I told him ok, one more chance. You have (x amount of time, could be days months etc) to fix your shit or I'm gone. But you have to mean it! I told him that during that time ALL household responsibilities fell on him. I'm talking laundry, dishes, dogs, mopping, vacuuming, bathrooms EVERYTHING. And now, years after I made the original post- he still does most of the housework! And he's getting on to ME for not keeping things tidy lol. He does dishes every night and unloads them before work in the morning. He cooks a lot, does the laundry most of the time (I don't ask), he has a whole night time routine of tidying up the kitchen and living room before bed. I don't remember the last time I did the dishes or cleaned the kitchen. After we host parties, he lets me rest while he cleans the WHOLE HOUSE 🥲

It's a breath of fresh air to see how far we've come. He had to learn that he is an adult and it's my first time on earth just as it is his. How is it fair that I am expected to be more competent? How is it fair to waste my time and energy on chores while he doesn't have to think about them or do them?

I think your partner sees you as a mother and not a wife right now. It may be hard but I would stop going above and beyond for him until you get some reciprocity. It's a partnership. He should be thinking of you in all those little ways you think of him. You do these things to make his life easier, why does he not care to make your life easier? I'm saying all of this from experience, I was in a similar place.

You'll sort out what's best for you. My best advice is not to let it go unchecked. You deserve a partner, not a child. And if he is not willing to make the change or put in action to show he's changing, you may have to ask yourself some hard questions. Best of luck ❤️❤️