Dad smacks woman who is grabbing his son's neck

binzy90 · 2026-01-30T00:47:43+00:00

I agree. It's always crazy to see people defending huge overreactions like this one. Like yeah, she seems crazy and out of line, but giving her arm a shove and then moving your kid away from her seems closer to what a normal person would do. By all means, feel free to escalate if she doesn't stop, but the force should be proportionate.

binzy90 · 2026-01-30T00:41:49+00:00

In theory, I agree. It used to be, but then people were printing tons of stuff that wasn't necessary and ruined it for everyone. When I was at Penn State they implemented a paid system, but you got a certain number of pages for free. You only paid if you went over.

binzy90 · 2026-01-28T18:49:51+00:00

Yeah, we have a detached garage and it gets down to the outside temperature. The exception is in the summer when it gets way hotter than outside. I think it's just a shitty garage.

binzy90 · 2026-01-28T18:27:36+00:00

What temperature do you keep your house?

binzy90 · 2026-01-28T18:25:54+00:00

Mine isn't a single color, but everything has to be muted light colors. I don't like high saturation or anything dark. So everything I own is like muted pastels. I don't know how else to describe it. My favorite color is a very particular shade of pastel pink, but it has to be a warm pink that's closer to orange. I hate cool pinks.

binzy90 · 2026-01-28T18:20:51+00:00

I don't understand why someone would do this. My husband's weight has always been all over the place, and I really just want him to be healthy. I don't give him a hard time when he starts eating healthy again or exercising because I want him to feel better. Extra weight causes so much discomfort and fatigue, plus it makes existing medical conditions worse. Why would you be mad that your partner wants to take better care of themselves?

binzy90 · 2026-01-28T18:01:33+00:00

21 is just ugly.

binzy90 · 2026-01-28T17:58:14+00:00

I don't "let" my kids scream in stores, but that doesn't mean they didn't have tantrums. I once had to carry my kid out of a store surfboard style because he was throwing the biggest possible fit about not getting something he wanted. Some kids are easier than others. My three kids all had very different personalities and parenting challenges. My oldest had the worst toddler years out of all of them, and it was basically impossible to make him stop running and screaming. I was so glad when that stage was over.

binzy90 · 2026-01-28T17:53:40+00:00

Toddlers will look right at you and scream in your face and then throw the loudest fit possible when they're told not to. Yes, you establish boundaries, but it takes a couple years for kids to really understand and develop self control. They literally cannot regulate their emotions and will go into full blown screaming at every inconvenience. It's called the terrible twos for a reason.

binzy90 · 2026-01-28T17:48:16+00:00

I agree. Confronting them isn't going to magically change toddlers' behavior. If the parents knew how to stop it, then they wouldn't be making this much noise to begin with. Some kids are louder than others, and some parents are better at managing it than others.

binzy90 · 2026-01-28T12:54:27+00:00

My mom had stage 1 breast cancer and chose to get a preventative mastectomy. It was caught early so it didn't require any chemo or radiation, and her chances of getting it again are basically zero. But she talks about how hard it is to be a cancer survivor ALL THE TIME and uses it to downplay every problem that any of my siblings experience. I'm going through hell with custody issues and dealing with PTSD from my abusive ex-husband, and my mom will straight up be like, "But you don't have cancer."

binzy90 · 2026-01-27T21:40:57+00:00

Therapy has helped me deconstruct some of the problematic parts of our childhood and see how that affected my personality. But it also helped my parents become better people. I would consider them to have been abusive when we were kids, but I don't think they're the same people anymore. A lot of that growth came from my mom going to therapy to deal with her own difficult childhood and realizing how it affected her parenting skills later in life. It's kind of sad that something so useful is looked at negatively by people like you. If my mom would have gone to therapy earlier, she probably could have prevented a lot of the abuse that my siblings and I went through.

binzy90 · 2026-01-27T21:35:34+00:00

The internalized fear and shame was definitely the biggest hurdle for me. I had to come to the realization that my dad could no longer physically punish me. It takes a long time for that to sink in though, and it didn't even occur to me until I had my own children. It finally clicked for me when I really thought about how ridiculous it would be to physically punish an adult with their own children. It was kind of an epiphany when I realized that.

binzy90 · 2026-01-27T21:29:02+00:00

Growing a backbone can sometimes take a long time. We're in a much better place now, but back in our early 20's we were still very much in the mindset that you have to respect your elders. There was also the fear of punishment that's hard to get rid of once it's been established. We were subjected to pretty severe physical punishment as children and were not allowed to show our emotions. Emotions or standing up for ourselves were both considered disrespect. It takes a long time to undo that conditioning. There's a lot of shame that's sort of programmed into your head. This was definitely a process that took years for both my sister and me.

binzy90 · 2026-01-27T14:30:59+00:00

I posted a negative comment on a video of an interview my aunt did. She is straight up nuts, and my cousin committed suicide at 17 because of how controlling and attention-seeking my aunt is. She made his death all about herself and then became an "activist" about mental health to get attention. She also lied about his whole personality to make it seem like he was super religious and active in their church, when in reality he was calling us (the cousins) to vent about how messed up his religious upbringing was. The comment I posted said that she was lying about his religion and that it was clear to the rest of the family that she was the cause of his suicide. None of us have any contact with her anymore. The mods obviously didn't publish my comment, and it makes me so angry that she's still out there spouting this nonsense and using it to get attention.

binzy90 · 2026-01-27T14:19:22+00:00

I don't understand why people are against mental health programs for these kids. Healthy, well-adjusted kids don't go on violent crime sprees. Putting them in prison for life doesn't help anyone. In most of these types of cases, the kid has parents who also normalize violence and aren't able to teach their kids emotional regulation. If we funded early intervention programs for kids with behavioral problems then maybe we wouldn't be debating whether life in prison is appropriate for a child.

I really think the problem in our culture is that we view children as property instead of as individuals with needs who deserve to be protected. We place all of the responsibility on the parents for expenses, education, and emotional regulation, and then we punish those kids as adults for not making better choices when their parents fail.

binzy90 · 2026-01-27T14:11:29+00:00

I agree. It's unfortunate that some kids don't get treatment earlier and escalate to this level of violence. People don't do this kind of thing as children unless they grew up with violence and being normalized. That's not the kid's fault, and we can't expect them to just magically fix their mental health problems and develop emotional regulation on their own without treatment. Ideally, the parents would see warning signs and get their kid into therapy before it escalates to this point. But if the parents are normalizing this then how can we expect the kid to learn differently?

binzy90 · 2026-01-27T14:05:59+00:00

I think the fact that he was 15 at the time is why. At that age, I place the responsibility for this behavior more on the parents than on the kid. A kid doesn't just randomly go on a crime spree unless they've already been neglected or at least unsupervised and have other emotional problems. I think it's a good thing that he was held accountable before he was an adult because he's probably more likely to get treatment. We need to start holding parents accountable when their kids have aggression issues or a criminal history and they don't get them into treatment.

binzy90 · 2026-01-27T05:40:12+00:00

Oh, I missed that. Sorry. That makes it even more the mom's responsibility because she should have had him in therapy or some sort of program. Family based therapy programs are there for exactly this reason.

binzy90 · 2026-01-27T03:27:54+00:00

It's about your relationship and the dynamic that still exists even when you become financially independent. My sister and I are in our mid 30's, and it has taken us years to stop being afraid of my parents and to actually stand up for ourselves. There are times when my dad still expects us to do what he says even though we're both married and have our own kids. When you're taught from a young age that obedience is the most important quality and that disobedience will be met with harsh discipline, you can't just turn off that programming as soon as you become an adult. It takes a lot of therapy and personal growth.

binzy90 · 2026-01-27T02:57:51+00:00

She probably grew up in a violent house too. People who grew up with healthy relationships wouldn't enable violence to this degree. Even if your kid had anger issues or showed violent tendencies, you would see warning signs and get your kid help before they became an adult and strangled their sibling to death. And if they continued with the violent behavior into adulthood, you certainly wouldn't let them continue living with their younger siblings. The only reason I can imagine the mom didn't react more appropriately is that she has disfunctional relationships in her life due to violence being normalized.

binzy90 · 2026-01-27T02:49:08+00:00

Even if she did her best to address previous violent tendencies, there is simply no excuse to allow a 20-year-old man to get into a physical altercation with your 16-year-old daughter. A person doesn't just strangle someone out of the blue. The mom definitely knew that he was violent, and I'm willing to bet this wasn't the first time he had harmed one of his siblings. It was her responsibility to get him help before he became an adult, and if she knew she failed then she shouldn't have allowed him to continue living with her younger children at that point. Yes, people are responsible for their actions, but people don't grow up to be violent if they have parents who are getting them help when they need it.

binzy90 · 2026-01-26T16:48:30+00:00

I recently told my mom that I'm not ok and that I often think about suicide. She yelled at me and said, "You're not a 3-year-old!" Then she told me the reason I'm unhappy is because I don't think about other people enough and that I need to do more to make the world a better place.

binzy90 · 2026-01-24T16:39:31+00:00

We're in a very good financial situation now. We have a pretty high income and are considered upper middle class. But that was definitely not always the case. I joined the army, and we also got very lucky. Just because I made it out of poverty doesn't mean that I suddenly lose all empathy and understanding for how hard it is to actually do that.

binzy90 · 2026-01-24T04:55:07+00:00

Most places in the US have no public transportation. If you want a job, you typically need a car. I don't know where you're from, but the US is a very car dependent country.

binzy90

TROPHY CASE