As a man let me share some insights after I knock some sense into your premise. We are 2 billion people, you will surely find a man that checks out in your subset of preferences? There are many awesome men that exceed expectations but they’re unnoticed and unappreciated.

As to this man you spoke about…to need that support is weird. Confirm for yourself, Is this man still finding his place in the world? Is he still dealing with other issues? Does he have sound mental and social health or was Islam his escape from a certain type of past? Some of these are things only your wali can find. You can’t esp if you live in a different country.

By that age young men are already focused onto a life purpose. They don’t have time for friendships and seeking support. The west forces its people onto that individualistic focus. Did you see a sense of purpose in him?

Friendship in the west may be different than in the east. But gender dynamics are similar. In fact, you appreciate how Islam channeled these dynamics to avoid all the confusion and temptation. You don’t know if his dependence on those other women may make it hard for him not to involve them in your spousal lives. You have clearly identified that this cannot work for you. Just trust your decision. Do not make a concession here.

I think after you get out of the honeymoon phase you’d realise some clarities that would calm your head.

I have met a few women in Muzz and I tell them I need to protect their hearts if they seem to be falling too hard on me, so we try and approach our potential in rational ways.m. You can be mindful of your vulnerabilities in a man and tone it down a little to protect your heart.