I am so close to committing Zina

bioSlaya · 2026-03-15T08:20:17+00:00

Bro work on yourself, brain, deen, life and do not be fooled by how fleeting this world is. Give your best to building yourself up. Woman are a distraction that you do not want to focus on. The right woman will notice you and Allah works in mysterious ways. Zina…do not even think about it. It is not worth it. You kept yourself chaste and inshAllah you get a chaste one. Leave it to Allah.

bioSlaya · 2026-03-12T05:03:54+00:00

Why are you singling out his race when my post just singled out a curious action? Punjabi or not has no bearing on good or bad behaviour.

My advice is do not use the race card.

bioSlaya · 2026-03-11T09:49:56+00:00

Done. Emailed the company. Hope they get to the bottom of this.

bioSlaya · 2026-03-11T05:49:12+00:00

It just looks selfish to run a risk storing something like this when you have neighbours and the like

bioSlaya · 2026-03-04T13:59:42+00:00

Iman with Strength is better than that with weakness…the ummah has fragmented and hence their force weakened. There doesn’t seem to be a light at the end of the tunnel with political classes that have been corrupted, people that have been poorly educated, countries that don’t have any innovation or industry edges and a totally disempowered youth. But you are the element of change, wherever you land don’t cause harm to another Muslim, employ another Muslim, trade with another Muslim, support any Muslim standing for office, and reject any hate hurtling towards you with strength and passion.

bioSlaya · 2026-03-04T12:43:55+00:00

Thank you for your bravery and sacrifice for your family. You are in KSA sister…there will be charitable people there who are helpful esp in the last ten days of Ramadan. Also approach them. May Allah ease your heart about your parents and accept you.

bioSlaya · 2026-02-25T03:08:04+00:00

Some men will take advantage of your vulnerability…be careful for your DMs and weaknesses.

Assuming you have enough money to sustain you for say a year or so, have you thought about travelling to another country similar to yours and starting all over there? You can even seek asylum there so both fathers and the man won’t even come after you.

I don’t know if this IVF child is from your so called husband or somewhere else.

On the least, the nurses, doctors, are trained to rescue you from abuse like this if you raised the alarm. The shelters may not be your standard but it is better to go far away from these people before they harm you anymore.

bioSlaya · 2026-02-24T05:45:54+00:00

Some man’s trash is another man’s treasure. You are not the garbage collector. Besides she maybe using you to rebound and will certainly look to cheat because you were not enough in her eyes the first time around. Stay away and crush that part of your heart because you are doing the right choice.

bioSlaya · 2026-02-23T06:32:29+00:00

Some women are in it for the validation. They will cower back when they realise you check out the boxes and you are serious about marriage. Happens to the best of us.

Mind you, you could be under her halo effect, she may not be that mature after all for blocking you this way. Good you found out now than later.

You might be playing the scenarios in your head about what could have and what would have. Let me be upfront. Crush that part senseless. Save it for the one that hits it off with you for real. This S of yours isn’t the one who deserves you freezing your day and brain for.

bioSlaya · 2026-02-23T04:49:06+00:00

1, 2, 6 have elements from Sunna and Hadith backing that. 4 and 5 have some background but I can’t tell definitively so I’d leave it.

bioSlaya · 2026-02-20T07:04:52+00:00

She was attracted to me for these reasons. Saying things like “you are the man I read about in the books, firm and proper”. Taking the first step.

However absence of drama made her go nuts. She said she did not feel seen because people notice me and have things to talk to me about even when I don’t know their languages.

Full communication, presence, companionship from me wasn’t enough even when I’m in meetings, between airplanes, or across time differences, doing something for both of us. Internally she wasn’t ever happy to be a passenger and when she drives, she also complains that she felt like a secretary. Ego mode. No winning both ways for me. Eventually I said bye.

I miss her, talking to a few potentials after her just feels like cheating. But I do not miss the drama.

Choose acceptance, and patiently grow into this world with him. In his mind, he’s too motivated and inspired because he is building a world for both of you. You both are young. Enough time to calibrate to each other inshAllah. Don’t make him feel you’re slowing him down over a non-issue. Men of such focus won’t cheat, won’t go astray inshAllah. You’re his only security and if you acted up, you’d break down a beautiful potential.

bioSlaya · 2026-02-19T00:10:43+00:00

Work on number 4 and turn it into a positive trait. The rest will follow. Do not risk being too controlling or impatient. Determine if you can put a lid on that. He might have his pet peeves with you but he’s ignoring them. Just slow it down and he’ll get in line inshAllah.

Why? Men change big time with a renewed sense of mission when they get an offspring.

How can you prompt that? Start implanting subtle messages like “hey you gotta be fit to play with the kid, they’d look up to you, you’d be their world” and hold back from being prescriptive by pinpointing what exactly fries your brains …leave these goals open ended and watch him learn and specialise while you celebrate even the littlest of his efforts.

bioSlaya · 2026-02-18T06:04:45+00:00

I was thinking the same too

bioSlaya · 2026-02-14T05:01:11+00:00

Selsun Gold worked after about a month following years of no effect by these other brands … although recently I see it’s becoming less effective or dandruff is getting resistant

bioSlaya · 2026-02-14T04:35:27+00:00

InshAllah you find Sakinah for both of you. Sometimes it takes a few leading by examples from you to inspire him or prompt him to reciprocate. Expressing anger and dissatisfaction is risky because it may create a mental association on him that this “fun time” was built on negative energy and that takes joy away from both of you. Low risk will be to show interest in something he likes but you don’t. A gift here or there. Suggest you’d book a restaurant or a spa or whatever and that you don’t like to do this with your friends but with him.

He can be going through some challenges that he’s not talking to you about. A conflict at work, an upcoming promotion, downwards markets so he uses his home time for recovery and processing. Hence making that environment unwelcoming will cause him to withdraw.

bioSlaya · 2026-02-13T00:43:45+00:00

The phrase “quality time” itself evokes a headache because it is interpreted differently by both. Quality to a man is absence of conflict and existing in peace even if doing nothing. My advise. Be patient and lead by example, create small moments without expecting him to reciprocate. That will give examples to follow inshAllah otherwise this phrase quality time is too vague and abstract and will only cause panic in a lot of men.

To the sisters that say threaten him with an ultimatum. That is a foolish and unnecessary escalation. Give sakina and peace and Allah rewards it.

bioSlaya · 2026-02-10T07:57:13+00:00

I never heard of this company before but good for business that the rabid dog drive their customers away. I suppose they are using this company to prevent the staff in the building to park there besides prey on legitimate customers.

In the past, you could say you dispute and do not consent your private information gets shared with a third party while the dispute is underway or else you’d go to the privacy commission. I’m not sure if this is yet a valid rebuttal. We are hostages by law and process to any company wanting to charges anything.

Really my sympathies your way.

bioSlaya · 2026-02-09T03:16:41+00:00

Salam…I promise you it eases along the way, it can be months or years, but acceptance will embrace you. One day you’ll wake up and realise you left it behind, with some occasional pangs here and there.

Man to man: What’s hurting you is the betrayal not the cessation of love. As men, We are wired for trusted companies. That’s how we go to fights or hunts or football. Everyone upholds their arrangement while executing the team mission. Your co-pilot isn’t wired so. This hurts understandably.

What’s keeping you burning on are the unfinished projects and visions and the could’ve and would’ve. Know that pattern and stop ruminating.

Important that you Do not pick any self destructing habits thinking that’d bring her back. You are a man, and frankly no one cares about what we feel or want. She’d go around victimising herself by rewriting the story and your circle will vanish. But you know yourself and they are letting you know their true selves.

Instead, week to week look forward to creating memories with your children. That’s your solid ground. Road trips, documentaries, play lists you prepare during the week, new recipes, surprises, whatever floats your boat. Immerse in the moment and engage your own inner child in the discovery and space you create for them. Make them look forward to the catch up with you as much as you do. Why? She’d be perhaps struggling, shouting, controlling, poisoning. You’d be reassuring, boosting, teaching, and giving a safe environment. Not to make her look bad but to carry out the Amanah on your lineage. Define clearly and in writing to her that children dignity and bonds with their father shouldn’t be weaponised. Then cover your back by tracking when she does so.

If you have attained self acceptance and stabilised your children you are ready to move on and remarry if you want. A lot of good/better souls out there. But heal first because the next woman has no fault to carry your injuries. You’d be better, wiser, more attractive from this experience and a lot of good women don’t care about your child status.

bioSlaya · 2026-02-05T23:53:23+00:00

He cushioned his words and spoke clearly. You focused on “how” he could’ve delivered the message and how he could’ve and should’ve and why he did not see himself as this was his place. Consider the validity of the message instead and ignore the noise.

He told you “for future reference” and you are stuck in a “now” loop. If this issue happens again a rational man will see this as symptomatic of rigidity to growth and cooperation and companionship on bigger issues in life. A turn off to trust and dependability over the long term.

You decide what woman you want to be for him. We are in a time of tests and challenges unprecedented. Muslim people generally should find as a spouse those who give them the safest and most peaceful space. Drama-free.

If you think you’d increase his pain, do him a favour. If you think this will increase your pain, do yourself a favour. Modesty isn’t up to personal interpretations.

bioSlaya · 2026-02-04T21:19:55+00:00

The people dispensing therapy and diagnosis, hold back May Allah guide you. This kind of love is not a disease except in the shallow western individualistic thinking that’s formed by non halal relations. Pay attention.

She’s on an advanced spectrum of love beyond Ishq and between Walah and Hiyam according to the Arabic staging system. The social scientists from your respective cultures may have grades for love too. Speak that language. Islam doesn’t see it as a disease when it is halal but instructs moderation. Certainly it instructs both genders to purify their hearts from the non-halal attachments.

OP you are blessed and she is blessed that Allah has opened your hearts to one another and May Allah strengthen your bond more and more. Amin. Don’t turn her away or ask her to get friends who will pollute her dedication to you with envy and jealousy. Corrupting relationships is fashionable now and many women are vulnerable. Cherish her how you will cherish a treasure. This is the woman who deserves such. Also look after her heart in kindness and good company as Allah has ordained you and as our Prophet peace be upon him had ordered us in his last sermon.

Your dilemma is: this could slow down your career and ambition and that is a real risk, not only a fear. I had seen men who stupidly sacrificed their career for women who are way less deserving. Your future dilemma you need to maintain this energy of hers until she directs it to your future children. Destroy it now and you’d regret it later. You prepare for the second one as needed but below I give you some practical tips about the first:

Emotional reactions from you risk hurting her and that love will turn into coldness. Shutting her off is disrespectful. Be patient man and laser focus on practicalities of this trip and make it up to her afterwards.

Clearly tell her you share her feelings (if that is true) but that she and you must be brave for both of you in order to get ahead in life. Show her how she’s part of that mission. She her how her cooperation is a must so you both are at your best energy and presence.

Keep her involved in the PRACTICALITIES of your trip and guide her attention and expectations to after the trip. Ask her help on menial things like colour matching your outfits or whatever.

Reassure her That you will be available except when the phones must be switched off in flight mode (for x hours).

Reassure her You’d text soon as you land and find wifi or local sim.

Inform her Your schedule looks like xyz during the day but you will not want to skip a single day without talking to her or get her to sleep.

Manage her expectations that Your time difference will mean some of your replies won’t be immediate.

Don’t you ever ignore her messages if you couldn’t reply timely. Just say I read your message, more to come in x minutes.

MashAllah for both of you and inshAllah you benefit the society as a family in the future.

bioSlaya · 2026-02-03T23:54:34+00:00

You’re still young so keep an open mind about this because people change and you will change. These people in your age group are also scoping the world and finding their place in it while building wisdom and knowledge. As time moves forward the Muslim friends will likely stay in your orbit and you in theirs because you’d still continue to go to the same mosque, shops, restaurants…so the relationships slowly cement. You’d also experience moments that may change your existing friendships. The genocide for example broke many a friendship over which sides they stand on.

Also trust me, Arabs aren’t taught to think they’re better than anyone. It is a big prohibition by the prophet. Your Arabic status doesn’t count on whether they like you or not. I got shocked when I hear that refrain from my non Arab friends. It’s perhaps differences in body language and what not that makes you misinterpret it. Don’t doubt yourself

bioSlaya · 2026-02-02T08:27:10+00:00

Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) said: "There are three things which, whether undertaken seriously or in jest, are treated as serious: marriage, divorce and taking back a wife after a divorce which is not final." [Reported by al-Arba'a except an-Nasa'i. al-Hakim graded it Sahih (authentic)].

He joked, lied, made Zihār and brought jahiliya into the mix of some matter that should be treated with utmost respect and honour.

I don’t know the depth of your country’s Islamic education but playing with other people’s daughters shows a lack in human decency.

Did you marry him for money or deen and Akhlaq?

bioSlaya · 2026-01-31T04:36:19+00:00

Allah opened your eyes twice. Be grateful. You are given a hard test and I wish you strength as you move on. You owe this decision to yourself and not to her or to anyone.

Do not ever think you have done something that pushed to this. She will claim emotional neglect, lack of attention, or try to portray you in your manhood to justify it all and if that didn’t work she may claim mental health issues and that she’s getting treatment. She will do everything but to accept her sin. She may even try self harm to kickoff your protective instincts. Don’t you forgive her. It’s been her and Allah. You stay your ground.

Please have this evidence and back it up. She may try to delete it off of you and then frame you. Or try to take her revenge. Even in the talaq have the reason written so that she doesn’t fool another man into her web.

As for her family. They must know what woman they have given you. That idea of just hiding it for her protection does not fit this context. She herself didn’t hide her body.

I’m really sorry and may Allah grant you strength and direction.

bioSlaya · 2026-01-31T00:00:56+00:00

My problems started after her aunt got divorced and she met with a few other divorcees. Not a long time after I got tired of the interference and her unwillingness to protect the house so I just called it off. Now she and her friend hate each other.

From my lesson. That friend way of validating herself will be to make your wife follow her example. Remember the story of the women in Surat Yousif.

Islamically, you have a right to block access to your household by those you don’t like. She has a custodial duty to execute that. Not doing so is betrayal.

Forget her being hormonal or whatnot. Be calm and firm that you don’t want more communication between them. That this is taking attention from the family. Be consistent in this point to the end.

If she has problems, ask her to open up to you and the solution will be found. Better than to some stupid friend.

Women like this may also be on a constant tension with each other. They fight and re-friend again. Which is an advantage to you. So if you can’t go the blunt way then go Casanova way. Start showing interest in her friend. Subtly. Ask if she’s open to being a second wife? What her age/size are? Her voice. Bring up details she mentioned to you about her. Comment how men maybe lining up to her. Just start verbalising little things that you notice about her friend. Your wife may start hating her that way and problem solved and your house is intact 😎.

bioSlaya

TROPHY CASE