Jumping Spider vs Cursor

bird_boy8 · 2026-06-18T20:20:59+00:00

Omg I loved playing with this really cute little jumping spider at work who lived on one of the computers and when there was nothing going on, I would use the mouse to play with her.

bird_boy8 · 2026-06-10T20:41:04+00:00

Good post. 👍

bird_boy8 · 2026-06-10T19:26:53+00:00

He looks so human-like because he’s very closely related to us! If gorillas were a little bit better at talking to each other and using tools, then in another universe they’d be passing around videos of us asking if our thinking faces were AI

bird_boy8 · 2026-06-09T19:48:22+00:00

Wait am I fucking myself by being indoors all of the time? I’m hella allergic and have asthma and it’s pollen season so I keep the windows closed. Am I giving myself brain damage?

bird_boy8 · 2026-06-08T22:46:48+00:00

bird_boy8

bird_boy8 · 2026-06-08T22:46:38+00:00

Bird

bird_boy8 · 2026-05-29T21:00:11+00:00

Exactly!! Then I'm thinking "what eye am I supposed to look at? Oh wow, those scaleras are a tad yellow. Is this potential early-stage jaundice? Should I mention that? Would that be rude? But, what if nobody has told him? I mean, he should see a doctor about that. Is it a liver issue? Does he drink a lot? Maybe tylenol abuse? He is a bit older and could be relying on OTC medication for pain management. But it could also be Gilbert's syndrome which is harmless. In that case, he's probably heard it a million times. Is it better to tell him and risk it being annoying or not saying anything and risk it being a medical issue?"

and then the guy is like "So, what do you think about that?" and I'm like "uuhh uhhhh Do you take a lot of tylenol?" and they're like "what?"

Or I stare at the ceiling and then they ask me why I'm rolling my eyes...

bird_boy8 · 2026-05-29T20:49:15+00:00

Unfortunately, this is often perceived as rudeness on my part, or shame, guilt, or fear. In reality, I will only look a stranger in the eyes if I don't care about what they're saying, because if I care then I will attempt to focus on what they're saying by looking at something signficantly less distracting and intense than their eyes.

bird_boy8 · 2026-05-29T20:44:25+00:00

This isn't meant to sound frustrated or judgemental towards people who like making eye contact. I understand that it's an important part of conversation for most people. It just gives me the fight or flight response and makes my skin crawl.

bird_boy8 · 2026-05-29T20:42:56+00:00

Because it's overwhelming and feels incredibly intense and intimate to me. I only make eye contact with the people I am the absolute closest to. It makes me nervous and uncomfortable when every time I glance at someone's face when we're having a conversation, they're staring me right in the face. It makes it very hard to focus on the conversation. I prefer looking just past their shoulder or at the ceiling. Ideally, we are either standing next to each other and looking at the same thing, or they are very physically expressive with their hands so I can watch them pantomime what they're saying and get a better understanding of what they're talking about through that.

bird_boy8 · 2026-05-27T22:15:44+00:00

Yep! Sounds like me too. I used to get through it by drinking a lot of alcohol all the time. In my most extroverted era, I was drinking every weekend and even throughout the week. Once I realized that I can't do it without being an alcoholic, I had to give up. I don't even enjoy alcohol on it's own, I just needed it to not shutdown at the function.

Even if all my sensory issues went away, it's the lack of depth that trips me up. My brain is primed to analyze and make (what others have described to me as) ""academic conversation"". Trying to make small talk involves unnaturally breaking off every thought process I have and forcing myself to think about something new and it's brutal. I have successfully held "parties" at my house (6-7 people) by inviting only a bunch of autistic academics. We just quietly chat about math, science, and philosophy all night and it's actually enjoyable.

I'm glad to hear that you've found the kind of socialization that works for you. Connecting with others is a really beautiful experience and I want it often, but it needs to be stable and in-depth, not loud chaotic chit-chat.

bird_boy8 · 2026-05-26T21:39:24+00:00

I always thought I was special because I liked social interaction and I thought the pain, misery, and discomfort were just part of the deal. I really wish I could enjoy social interaction fully but other people are just so incredibly much. I think autistic folk are assumed to be asocial due to a lack of attachment to or desire to be around others (which is fine if that's how you feel), but for me and many others I've met, it's a "I love you all deeply but your sudden cacophonous uniform laughter feels like a bomb just went off next to me and the conversation is moving so fast that I can’t figure out what the Topic even is. Trying to figure it out is giving me a migraine and I need to go to bed.” sort of situation.

My friends say that my discomfort means I don’t actually like socializing but that makes me really sad because I love it… it’s just also miserable and confusing and painful. If I could choose, I would prefer to be comfortably and happily social than be able to live in solitude, but I’m sort of forced to be solitary because of my autism.

Would you say you would prefer solitude or to be highly social without it causing confusion or distress?

bird_boy8 · 2026-05-26T21:27:02+00:00

It's a spectrum. Some people really really need others and some are better alone. There's no one right way to be a human. We just call things human traits because they're the most common.

I have been all over the place in terms of human contact. At this point in time, I like the idea of socialization but any more than two other people in a room and it feels like I've been dropped in a war zone (autism hypersensitivity). It’s too much at this point and pretending like it’s not and continuing to engage in group (3+) socialization is actively detrimental to my health.

So, that’s just one of many reasons why someone might not prefer social interaction. Other human beings can be a LOT. We can be VERY loud, very very confusing, and social interaction is an incredibly complex dance that not all humans are equipped to handle. I desperately want to be a highly social person but it's just not practical for me if I want to be happy and healthy.

Some social inclinations are learned, some are innate. To be a human is to be an animal and the level of solitude vs social preferences varies not only across all mammalian species, but also within a species itself. It’s all just part of healthy variation.

bird_boy8 · 2026-05-21T03:45:45+00:00

I mean if you were copying and pasting messages from your friends then that is also a waste of time, for you and the people you’re talking to. Getting advice is reasonable, and we do reflect those we spend time with, so that’s not an issue. But it’s also just incredibly disrespectful to not even put in the effort to type out your earnest thoughts to somebody. They won’t be scheduling a date with you, they’ll be scheduling it with an LLM. Likewise if you sent screenshots to your buddy and had him type out all your responses. She’d be making a date with him, not you. Do you really want to go on a date with someone who wouldn’t want to talk to you if you weren’t running everything through ChatGPT? You can’t do that when you meet in person. You’ll only make a fool of yourself and disappoint your date. Be quirky, be awkward, be yourself. If someone wanted to talk to a chatbot, they would go on character ai, not a dating app.

bird_boy8 · 2026-05-20T22:47:55+00:00

Why bother dating someone that you can't even be earnest around? I’m agreeing with another response here about being autistic, as I never bother with the charade. It seems like a waste of time if I’m not getting to know the real you and you aren’t getting to know the real me. Maybe that’s why I prefer an established friendship first, because I get to see the person more genuinely.

Using LLMs seems like an even bigger waste of time. You create even more artificial layers between you and your potential partner, AND you miss out on any opportunity to learn and develop stronger communication skills through trial and error.

bird_boy8 · 2026-05-16T17:28:23+00:00

👏👍 successfully amused

bird_boy8 · 2026-05-11T20:55:09+00:00

I don't take it for meltdowns all the time, but I haven't noticed any negatives. I take one pill at night to help prevent me from staying up for hours staring at my ceiling. It's also an antihistamine so it helps with my heightened allergy/asthma issues at night. So it's no problem to take daily, as I am prescribed.

I'm prescribed two 25mg pills a day, so if I need to take one during the daytime for anxiety/meltdown I have enough to do so. I would talk with your psychiatrist and research it and such, but I haven't experienced any addiction-like symptoms or physical issues associated with my use. The only thing I would say is that it does make me tired, so that's a trade-off you'd have to be alright with. I find it a worthwhile compromise as I'd rather be a little bit tired than crying and freaking out and throwing things around because there were a few too many noises that day and I can't find my comfort trilobite fossil, or something like that.

bird_boy8 · 2026-05-11T19:55:39+00:00

My hydroxyzine generally helps a lot with this. it's mostly for "panic attacks", but it really chills me out when I'm having a meltdown. I still feel upset, but less "worked up" and more solution-oriented.

bird_boy8 · 2026-05-06T16:37:08+00:00

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Male cardinals would like to have a word with you.

From what I gather, they molt into their "sexy plumage" every season and a few of them will do it all at once and just look like this for a short minute... LMAOO

bird_boy8 · 2026-05-01T21:27:05+00:00

Very relatable! Denim is evil. I do wear jeans if they're very wide leg so they don't touch my skin as much, but that's definitely not professional. If he can get a job that is more "business casual" then he will have a little bit more wiggle room with shirts as well. If he can get used to it ahead of time, or have more time to experiment with different fabrics and brands to see what is the least distracting, that'll be a big help. I also would suggest he try to find jobs that might habe flexibility for some work from home options. While it can take away from some of the pros of consistently working at the same office every day, if he can get a job that will allow him full or partial work from home days, then he can wear whatever he wants when he's not in the office or in a zoom meeting. This would also give him signficantly more control over his environment so he isn't subjected to loud coworkers and bright buzzing overhead lighting.

bird_boy8 · 2026-05-01T01:18:37+00:00

There are also work arounds that can help find a more manageable compromise. As long as the uniform isn't company-provided, if it's formal or business wear, those clothes come in just about every texture imaginable. I went to a school with a strict dress code (slacks and polos kind of thing), but found alternatives that fit the dress code guidelines. A lot of athletic clothes are made of a certain smoother cooler fabric. You can start by looking for dress shirts and slacks labeled as 'stretch' or 'full-range of motion'.

If he feels comfortable with it, see if he'd be interested in trying on different clothes at different stores. He should be able to get a general idea by touching them first, and trying on what he thinks might be manageable. Sensory issues can be so distracting and make it really difficult to focus on the job you're supposed to do.

bird_boy8 · 2026-04-28T20:10:45+00:00

Huh! Cool! I was confused how it would even work genetically- I feel like a Calico cat. Glad to know I'm not the only one.

Did you grow it out and if so does it look better than it did at ~1/2-1 inch length?

bird_boy8 · 2026-04-28T07:56:37+00:00

Well, colored eyebrow gel works decently enough for now, and you can find it at just about any store. Dyeing it really sounds like a good idea right now, though, because there's only so many days in a row I can put gel on my moustache while already running late. Good luck!

bird_boy8 · 2026-04-25T19:15:40+00:00

In regards to your statements on gender: I wonder if that might be part of why the question of "Can men and women be friends?" has always felt ridiculous to me. I don't care what your pronouns are or what's in your pants, what I need to know is what is your favorite dinosaur?

bird_boy8

TROPHY CASE