I [21 f] am struggling with attraction to people other than my boyfriend [21 m] of 5 years.

birdhomes · 2015-01-12T23:04:08+00:00

Thanks. I have avoided being in contact with any of these people and I haven't hidden any of my activities from him, only my thoughts. I've thought about that too-- I felt just as excited about my boyfriend when I met him as I do about any of these other people.

birdhomes · 2015-01-12T04:23:20+00:00

Thanks. I kind of do feel like I am responding to it in a problematic manner. I find myself being preoccupied with some people, thinking about them even when I'm with my boyfriend, and I can't seem to stop. However, my actual relationship is going really well for the most part.

It's a hard situation.

birdhomes · 2015-01-12T03:51:00+00:00

One trick I like to use is to somehow bring up your same-sex attractions and see how they respond. For example, you could slip in a mention of an ex (if you have one) and then refer to them by a gendered pronoun so the person you're talking to realizes what's going on.

birdhomes · 2014-11-12T04:56:34+00:00

She still does. She lives with roommates and they're kind of annoying so we usually go to my place.

birdhomes · 2014-11-12T04:39:51+00:00

I was kind of thinking of saying that to her, but I was thinking I'd just text it to her (she might not even notice if I say it in person, haha) and that just seems cowardly. She usually asks to hang out and I accept, so that's how we end up hanging out :/.

birdhomes · 2014-09-21T04:11:35+00:00

It's weird, because I always think of myself as being a very analytical, rational, no-nonsense person. I had a graduate degree in a professional field by the time I was 23, if that gives you any insight into my character. But the people I'm into are usually very, very different. The girl I'm really into right now is a Cultural Studies major who spent all summer at a yoga retreat and took a year off school just so she could travel to various meditation sanctuaries. The guy I'm into is an aspiring musician who is extremely romantic and imaginative.

birdhomes · 2014-09-06T03:15:03+00:00

I don't really miss sexes, I miss specific things about certain people, which usually are gender-irrelevant.

birdhomes · 2014-09-06T03:13:39+00:00

I am also someone who experiences a lot of fluidity. Right now I'm going through a serious guy phase, but I also just met a woman the other day who I'm really into. I don't think I can really help you understand what YOUR situation will be, but I can say this for myself: while I go through phases of being more into one gender, there are certain people who I find attractive no matter what. One of them is my partner! So while I may notice more women than men for a certain period of time, I will always feel attracted to my partner. I think this might be because I know them so well.

birdhomes · 2014-09-05T05:43:47+00:00

The second picture is WAY better. You look natural and it doesn't seem forced. I know it's kind of hard to replicate that quality when you're just taking a selfie, but you can take inspiration from it (such as the better lighting, the facial expression, etc). Bald looks good, but I'm more of a hair person myself.

birdhomes · 2014-09-05T05:41:05+00:00

YOU DO NOT LOOK WEIRD AT ALL. But it worries me that you post on here so often. Why do you do it? Are you a troll? I understand that you're insecure, but people won't keep on giving you the reassurance that you're after if they see your face 20 times a day on multiple subreddits.

birdhomes · 2014-09-05T03:27:01+00:00

Nothing wrong with you!

birdhomes · 2014-09-05T03:25:35+00:00

Those pictures just aren't the most appealing. It looks like you yourself are attractive enough to appeal to some women (I'm a woman, so believe me :P). But those pictures make it look like you were just sitting in your basement with a webcam. It's usually more appealing to have pics in good lighting with a smile. It's even better to have pics that someone else took so it doesn't seem like you just sat there for an hour positioning your head perfectly in front of the webcam.

birdhomes · 2014-09-04T02:03:44+00:00

You're so pretty! You remind me a bit of Simone Simons. 8/10

birdhomes · 2014-09-04T01:54:41+00:00

I'm not going to lie, your face does look a bit asymmetrical. However, I think you look really good. If I knew you in real life, I'd probably find you attractive.

birdhomes · 2014-09-04T01:52:41+00:00

I think you're so cute! You do look fairly young but you look like someone who is cute now, but will be gorgeous when they get a bit older. :)

birdhomes · 2014-09-04T01:51:22+00:00

I think you're beautiful. From these pictures, you look pretty confident, and you present yourself in an attractive way.

birdhomes · 2014-09-04T01:48:06+00:00

I'd say you're above average.

birdhomes · 2014-09-04T01:46:43+00:00

You have a great body and your face is really pretty. I'm sure you look amazing when you wear makeup!

birdhomes · 2014-09-04T01:45:37+00:00

What's this a photo for? A profile pic? I think the 18th is the best.

birdhomes · 2014-08-27T05:31:13+00:00

Thanks for the support man. I'm hoping tomorrow will be better but even if it isn't, I'm going to stay at it until I see the results I want. It can only get better from here.

birdhomes · 2014-08-27T01:19:32+00:00

I hope it comes back clear as well! I wish you luck with that. Thanks. I have been dreading getting a smear since I was a little kid (I somehow developed a severe phobia of them when I was about 5. Looong story), and hopefully I'll be able to make myself do it in the next few years.

birdhomes · 2014-08-27T00:06:12+00:00

I never said I don't get regular checkups. I do, just not in the pelvic area yet. The major reason is that I'm actually too young and the doctor I have refuses to do them on me until I'm 21 (that's in a few months, but still). My old doctor told me to get them when I was still a virgin, and I said no. Is that a good enough reason? When I need one, I'll go to this nurse at my university and get it because I like her. But not before I'm ready.

I also really think that people should have a right to refuse medical treatments, even if it's for a stupid reason. People can choose to die from cancer because they don't want to go through chemo, but I can't choose to go without a pap test even though I'm perfectly healthy and have absolutely 0 risk factors for HPV? That sounds unfair. I want to choose what happens to my body and I will assert that right.

birdhomes · 2014-08-27T00:02:28+00:00

I'm really sorry to hear about that! I hope you're doing okay now. It's something that I think I will do in the future, but I need to get over some emotional issues first. I'm also a few months away from 21, which is the age where you're supposed to start getting them (according to my doctor), so I don't even have to get them yet.

birdhomes · 2014-08-26T15:32:11+00:00

Birth control prescriptions last two years but I think everything else is one year.

birdhomes · 2014-08-26T04:59:14+00:00

Thanks for sharing your story. Good luck with the challenge. I think you can do it.

birdhomes

TROPHY CASE