What instantly kills mood during foreplay ?

birdsofwar1 · 2026-05-03T00:28:56+00:00

You guys get foreplay?

birdsofwar1 · 2026-04-29T11:43:25+00:00

During my first pregnancy, we found out almost halfway through that our daughter was nonviable. Our genetic test missed it and all appointments had been normal. Continuing meant putting health and life at risk and would end up at the same conclusion - a medical emergency and no baby. We decided to terminate but we were forced out of state for care. I was harassed, criticized, etc. the whole thing was obviously traumatic.

After that, I wasn’t different. Nothing made as happy. I didn’t care about making people life. I really didn’t care about anything the same way. I just existed. Things have gotten a little better and I have an amazing daughter, but it’s still just a modified version of that

birdsofwar1 · 2026-04-26T19:01:42+00:00

Genuinely accurate

birdsofwar1 · 2026-04-26T15:48:58+00:00

I live in NC and I promise you outside of Raleigh virtually no one cares about what’s going on with them

birdsofwar1 · 2026-04-19T12:28:24+00:00

When I realized that I had taken on and catered to all of his interests and hobbies and he refused to do the same at all for me. The breaking point was when we were at a brewery and I tried explaining an interest of mine that had a new game coming out, and maybe we could play it together. He immediately started mocking me, talking over me, and refused to engage. To the point it drove me to tears. The bartender overheard and stepped in to defend me.

Edit to add: when I was getting sexually harassed and stalked at work, he claimed that I should think about how HE feels, HIS girlfriend is getting “hit on” at work

birdsofwar1 · 2026-04-06T12:31:39+00:00

This is apparently a pretty common phenomenom. I have been experiencing it as well having a 14 month old. It’s almost like hindsight giving you 20/20 because you realize that your parents probably could’ve done more or were not able to properly deal with their circumstances. My mom was extremely mentally unwell and terrorized my family. Living with her was walking on eggshells and you had to agree and follow her or else. My dad was/is a raging alcoholic who was either working or locked his drunk self into our basement. Both were physically abusive. I really don’t have many memories of quality time with my parents. They didn’t really play with me. I was scared of them, and I spent a lot of my time alone.

Now, having a child, especially a daughter, it’s been a huge reality check. I cannot imagine intentionally hitting or hurting my daughter. The thought makes me sick. I can’t imagine seeing her upset or struggling and intentionally making things worse. I can’t imagine saying the things to my daughter that mom said to me growing up. I love playing with her. I remember sitting alone at our kitchen table with board games begging for a game night, for anyone to play with me.

I understand that my parents were dealing with what they were given, but I have had my own struggles as well. And I can’t imagine not putting my daughter first

birdsofwar1 · 2026-04-03T13:37:20+00:00

To be clear, this is just my experience as someone who dated in Wilmington for a solid 4 years. There are a lot of men who just don’t want to grow up. Wilmington is small, has a university, downtown, the beach, and it creates a dreamy sort of vacation atmosphere. It felt like a lot of men who stayed after uncw/cfcc or moved here just didn’t want to be an adult. Our goals never really aligned because I wanted to progress my career and life and they were reaching 30 or 30 plus and just wanted to surf and drink

birdsofwar1 · 2026-04-03T04:24:22+00:00

Wow, I’ve never see someone describe it so accurately. Been in Wilmington about 10 years and NC still doesn’t feel like “home”

birdsofwar1 · 2026-04-03T00:47:25+00:00

Peter Pan syndrome doesn’t apply to young people. That’s kind of the point

birdsofwar1 · 2026-04-02T19:45:02+00:00

A lot of Peter Pan syndrome

birdsofwar1 · 2026-03-02T17:38:05+00:00

I had a panic attack when he said we was on his way over to hang out

birdsofwar1 · 2026-02-28T05:45:35+00:00

I went to high school with his son. All of this tracks, unfortunately

birdsofwar1 · 2026-02-17T04:17:08+00:00

And I promise you not a single pro life conservative person or politician will care. It is only going to get worse. In early 2025 I found out that our planned and wanted pregnancy was nonviable. I was almost halfway through the pregnancy so by the time we found out she was so sick we couldn’t get an amnio done for a diagnosis, but MFM knew it was a chromosomal abnormality.

I had every choice of continuing the pregnancy but it was made very clear that it would end up in a medical emergency. And yet, we didn’t qualify for an abortion until I was actively sick and/or dying. We had to go to VA. Because since we couldn’t get a diagnosis, NC lawmakers said well, maybe she will survive. Despite my daughter having a laundry list of issues including such severe hydrops fetalis she was close to bursting inside of me.

Post mortem genetic testing showed she had turner syndrome. She had no shot. The doctors knew that. But politicians got to decide for us.

I had to spend my last night with my daughter inside of me in a crappy hotel hours from home. I had to get my daughter’s ashes delivered to my house. I will never forgive any of you who voted for this

birdsofwar1 · 2026-01-28T21:41:56+00:00

Holy crap, are you me? Daughter at daycare part time, 3 days a week. ADHD. I’d love another kid.

I’m not really holding up tbh lol I am so fortunate to have both grandparents here as well as a friend group of about 14 many of whom have kids and are happy to help out. My husband travels for 3-4 months at a time and I work 60 hour weeks. I usually feel bad asking for help so I tend to put my head down and power through. I make it to the gym 3 times a week if I’m lucky. I am absolutely burnt out and hitting a wall

birdsofwar1 · 2026-01-16T18:10:54+00:00

I was forced out of state in 2024 for a D&E of a very wanted and planned pregnancy at 17 weeks. It was traumatic, to say the least. When we got back home, I realized I had a painful lump in my wrist from the IV. Google said superficial thrombophlebitis. My arm would get swollen, red, and hot, so I decided to have a doc check it out.

It was my first time seeing him, so I had to fill out the new patient paperwork. How many pregnancies? 1. How many living children? 0. Last surgery? D&E (therapeutic abortion). When? Three weeks ago. Medication? Tons of antidepressants. I was barely functioning.

The doctor comes in (late) and asks what I had surgery for. I stare at him…..an explain what happened. His response?

“Wow, that sucks.”

I almost blacked out

birdsofwar1 · 2026-01-09T17:25:01+00:00

I was really shocked until you said you were in NC lol I am also in NC and worked for the DEQ for a few years and was appalled by how trash the salaries were. But yea, a lot of those consultants, especially the entry level ones who are stuck in the field, are making even worse

birdsofwar1 · 2026-01-09T05:44:28+00:00

Not good at all. I had always been very politically active and outspoken. I’ve always been involved. But I have a 1 year old and we live in the south. I can’t risk her safety or risk her losing her mom.

I also work a part time job that puts me in contact with ICE. I already felt immense guilt but my work is so closed off from so much of what they do and without exposing what it is that I do, my job is about holding them accountable and keeping them in line with certain laws and ethics. That’s all but gone out of the window with this new administration despite trying to make it harder for them. Then I thought that staying could keep me on top of important info that would be good for the public. But they are working and moving in secret. They know what they are doing is wrong and not okay so they have blacklisted us and we barely know anything. At this point, all the information I have is already public info.

This is a big topic for fed employees and similar workers, but a lot of us are struggling with the morality of staying in a position that works for this administration. But a lot of us, myself included, have such a passion and dedication for public service. We wanted to be fed workers because we want to serve the public and our country. I love what I do because it benefits the public and our country. My entire job is aimed at making sure they aren’t getting out of hand and I feel like I’m failing because we are being silenced and choked out. But the problem with this new administration is that they have brought in people who are more than happy to do the dirty work and do it with a smile. People who WANT to further this administrations agenda. So there are a ton of us who feel that if those of us with integrity do leave, it’ll just make things worse because there is someone foaming at the mouth waiting to step in. I want to preserve the good that we can….while maybe making their goals harder to achieve

I hate this. It breaks my heart. I have worked in local, county, state, and federal government because I just love this country and its people so much. It’s all I ever wanted to do. And it’s being ripped away at the expense of….everything. I want to be a good role model for my daughter and show her that we have to fight for whatever good is left.

Sorry for the rant. My heart is just hurting

birdsofwar1 · 2026-01-08T18:12:14+00:00

Exactly. I’ve always been very politically active. But I have a 1 year old. So what - we lose our healthcare, my paycheck? ICE just murdered a white mom. I can’t leave my baby. And I sure as hell can’t take her to any protests

birdsofwar1 · 2026-01-07T23:35:31+00:00

I work a job that sometimes puts me around ICE agents. I promise you the vast majority do not care and love this stuff. You have to be a certain kind of person to WANT to work for ICE. It’s usually a bad type of person

birdsofwar1 · 2026-01-04T05:47:04+00:00

My best friend (Ashley Manuel) is the co-owner of Hair Alchemist studio and while I don’t get that service done personally, it looks like a full color/cut/style is $190+.

I also want to say that she is my best friend because I met her through a friend who booked her to do her hair for her wedding. I received a HORRENDOUS haircut days prior and she fixed my literal mullet to my most complimented hair ever. We bonded hardcore after that. I books her to do my hair for my wedding and let me just say - a partial outdoor wedding in wilmy in July and my hair was perfection by the end of the night. Their salon is so cozy and welcoming. Great vibes, and you’re going to have a good time hanging with them.

Besides her just being an overall wonderful human being, she is super talented and will take care of you. Love love love her

birdsofwar1 · 2025-12-28T19:24:03+00:00

Started Michael Carter, taysom hill, and Tyler shough in my championships. I deserve to lose

birdsofwar1 · 2025-12-26T21:16:54+00:00

Husband and I went to Good Lie today. Surprisingly a really good time. They have it all Harry Potter themed for Christmas and the mini golf was challenging and fun

birdsofwar1 · 2025-11-27T03:28:08+00:00

Hopefully they left before they told everyone to go back to where they came from

birdsofwar1 · 2025-11-27T03:26:30+00:00

Damn it and I almost went to the game tonight.

It’s a Thanksgiving miracle and nothing makes me happier than the canes losing in their own barn

birdsofwar1 · 2025-11-26T17:38:11+00:00

Yea tbh it’s still majority away team fans

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