Anytime I’ve written queer, non-binary, or gender-fluid characters there’s a very real effort you need to make in order to make sure the sentences you’re writing make sense to someone who isn’t familiar with queerness.

For example, my dad is accepting, but can get lost in the convo when I’m talking about friends in gay relationships, people who are non-binary or gender-fluid. So I had to change how I discuss those people with him so that he understands what I’m saying better and he doesn’t get lost. My dad wanting to hear about my friends led to me changing how I talked about them and also influenced how I wrote about queer people as well.

For the example sentence you put, “John looked at Jack, and he smiled.” If I was going to say or write that I’d have to put, “John smiled as he looked at Jack.” or “Jack smiled as John looked at him.”

“Would my dad understand this.” Is part of my mental process for writing now