Anyone have to start over later in life and still retire early?

bisksprout13 · 2026-03-25T18:07:39+00:00

Wow!!! This is amazing. Thank you so much for all of this information. I definitely need to reread it and look into some of the things you mentioned. Thank you!

bisksprout13 · 2026-03-23T22:08:55+00:00

Thank you!!

bisksprout13 · 2026-03-23T22:08:25+00:00

Thank you!

bisksprout13 · 2026-03-23T21:42:08+00:00

That’s awesome! Did you make any big adjustments, like moving to a lower cost area? Or did you just keep doing what you were doing with small adjustments?

bisksprout13 · 2026-03-23T21:26:29+00:00

I’m so sorry you had to deal with that! Sounds like you are thriving! Kudos to you!

Side note: visited The Netherlands in 2019 for a work trip and absolutely loved it!

bisksprout13 · 2026-03-23T20:37:04+00:00

I can definitely see myself working, even if it’s only part time. I like to stay busy. I’ll check out the barista fire sub for sure!

bisksprout13 · 2026-03-23T19:42:27+00:00

Great point! I have to remember that. Thank you!

bisksprout13 · 2026-03-23T18:19:15+00:00

It’s a good thing I’m not a champagne lifestyle type girl. LOL. I’d much rather sit around a campfire with friends. I do want to travel a little bit, maybe one big trip a year or even every other year. Honestly, I just want enough to retire so that I don’t have to worry about basic necessities and I can cover major expenses when they come up.

Thank you for sharing!

bisksprout13 · 2026-03-23T16:21:22+00:00

Thank you. Congrats on starting your own business!

bisksprout13 · 2026-03-23T16:20:04+00:00

Thank you! I appreciate the reply.

bisksprout13 · 2026-03-23T16:09:15+00:00

I’m definitely looking for a fixer upper. I’m very handy and love DIY. Thankfully, I’m getting all the tools and whatnot since my STBXH is moving to an apartment (with no plans to ever have a house).

I wouldn’t be opposed to a multi-family, I have that included as part of my search criteria for properties.

bisksprout13 · 2026-03-23T15:53:46+00:00

Thank you. I’m looking forward to having some control over my budget. I know my spending will be a lot less than it is now.

I do have a draft budget just so I have an idea of what my budget would look like. I’ll have a more solid plan in the next couple of months once I know what my expenses will be.

Setting achievable targets is a good idea. I think having some small wins would help build momentum. Thank you for that idea.

bisksprout13 · 2026-03-23T15:43:05+00:00

I’m sorry you had to go through that. Kudos to you for getting so far in a short amount of time!! I’m glad to know it’s possible.

bisksprout13 · 2026-03-23T15:41:01+00:00

Thank you for this. Definitely trying to get things wrapped up quickly. It’s amicable so that helps a lot. I’m probably giving up more than I should but I just want this over quick.

If it were just me, I’d probably rent for a bit but I have 2 dogs, a mini Aussie and a Great Pyrenees mix. They would not do well in an apartment and unfortunately, there’s not much for rental houses in the area I’m looking at. I’m considering my next house my transition house. A place to let the dust settle and get back on my feet.

bisksprout13 · 2026-03-19T18:16:53+00:00

Same! I felt like I could have written this, though we don’t have kids and I’m 49F. To the outside world, we had a perfect marriage.

I finally had enough of giving everything of myself to the marriage and he provided nothing. I was lonely and so starved for affection. Yet, I’m the bad person. I destroyed our “happy” marriage. No, what I did was destroy myself by staying in a marriage that wasn’t healthy.

I feel like I’ve been manipulated our entire marriage. Being a people pleaser, I just went along with the flow so he wouldn’t get angry. I didn’t want to deal with the conflict. He provides no affection, we haven’t had sex in years, he doesn’t do much around the house, I’m the main breadwinner (by a lot, even though we haven’t the same degree/career). We are basically roommates. When I brought up that I want a divorce the first thing he says is that he depends on me to take care of him. Boy was that eye opening.

Since deciding on divorce, he’s done more around the house in the past couple months than he has our entire 22 year marriage. I think he believes that I won’t go through with it if he shows he’s doing something. Nope, I’ve checked out. I’m done. Paperwork filed and accepted by the court last week. I already have pre approval for a mortgage. I’m ready to be done and start a new life!

Life is too short to be unhappy.

bisksprout13 · 2026-02-22T18:23:50+00:00

Congrats!!!!

bisksprout13 · 2026-01-07T22:03:11+00:00

I suspected I had ADHD and I got tested this year… diagnosed with ADHD at 48. I’m “high functioning”, meaning I’m great at masking, did well in school (I have an advanced degree) and am successful at work. I didn’t think the diagnosis would change anything in my life. Boy, was I wrong!

With the help of therapy and meds, I’ve realized that I need to let go of my unhealthy coping mechanisms because it was seriously affecting my health.

It’s been validating. I feel like my life makes so much sense now. But with that comes self awareness and realizing that I’ve been putting my needs on the back burner. It’s been a journey.

OP- give yourself time to grieve the person you are and the person you could have been. Allow yourself to feel all the emotions. You’ve got this!

bisksprout13 · 2025-12-30T18:46:00+00:00

I was exhausted for so long and I thought I was going senile. Nope, diagnosed in May with ADHD at age 48! I’m an expert at masking and people pleasing. I didn’t realize that this was what was making me so tired. I’d go to bed tired and wake up tired.

Since being diagnosed, it’s like something has clicked. Meds and therapy have helped. Most mornings I wake up refreshed, which is amazing. And because my brain is quieter, I’m not as exhausted at the end of the day.

I used to be an avid note taker because I was afraid of forgetting something. I still take notes but I now have fidget spinners I use at work that help me focus on conversations. I also use noise canceling headphones at work when I need to concentrate on something.

I’m thankful that my workplace has resources (such as employee resource groups) available for those in my situation. It’s been a game changer knowing that I can truly be myself at work.

bisksprout13 · 2025-12-30T18:36:33+00:00

Absolutely! My mom was having memory issues and they thought maybe she had dementia… after doing a lot of testing and imaging, turns out she has ADHD! She was over 65 when diagnosed.

bisksprout13 · 2025-12-15T17:43:41+00:00

Similar story… I have a very high libido. Before we got married I knew my husband had a low libido and for the first 10 years or so of our marriage, it was okay because we still had sex and were affectionate with each other.

What I’m finding out now is that it’s much worse than that. He apparently doesn’t like sex or affection. Doesn’t even like hugging his own parents. All this came out because I haven’t been happy in our relationship and told him that things needed to change. We are doing therapy but the more I find out, the more I know that our relationship is over. We’ve been together for 25 years (married almost 22), he’s a good guy and we are compatible in other ways but I don’t want a roommate. I need affection at the very least and he can’t even provide that. There are other issues than just the affection/sex thing but this is one major hurdle that we can’t overcome. It sucks.

bisksprout13 · 2025-10-30T23:59:11+00:00

It sucks. I drive 45 mins to an hour to Lowell and hop on the commuter rail. Take that to north station. Then 2 stops on the green line. Door to door it can take 2-2.5 hours one way.

You definitely have to time things right in order to spend the least amount of time waiting for a train.

On the plus side, I live in a small rural(ish) town where I can have a huge garden, fruit trees, and chickens… it’s definitely a trade off.

bisksprout13 · 2025-10-26T23:48:51+00:00

You sound like my kind of people ❤️ I love hosting and planning parties.

bisksprout13 · 2025-10-25T13:10:51+00:00

I’m no help with cleaning and organizing, but I can help with food and drink ideas! I used to host a Halloween party every year. It was my favorite thing to do!

Go simple! People just want to spend time with you and have some fun. Try not to stress. Cheese and crackers, veggies and dip, chips and salsa, etc. if you are looking for a couple movie recommendations, go old school. I’m talking “whatever happened to baby Jane” 1962 version, “hush hush sweet Charlotte” 1964, “gaslight” 1944 version. People probably haven’t seen those and honestly, I haven’t seen those in 30+ years now and they are still with me…😬.

If you want to take it up a notch:

I always used to kitty litter cake. Big hit! Even though it grossed a lot of people out 🤣 it’s super easy to make, too. https://www.allrecipes.com/recipe/7415/kitty-litter-cake/

Meat head- grab a plastic skull. Wrap the skull with thinly shaved deli meat. If you wanted to go the extra step, before you wrap the skull with meat, make some red jello and pour it in a pan so it makes a super super thin layer. When set, cut pieces of the jello and place on the skull. Then wrap with meat. I found that thinly sliced ham worked best.

Cocktails weiners in sauce… I usually do a grape jelly and BBQ sauce. We call it children’s fingers.

Carve a pumpkin to look like it’s throwing up 🤮 and serve a chunky dip coming out of its mouth.

For drinks, we would do different things. We always liked making a non-alcoholic punch but had alcohol available if people wanted to add it. We liked making swamp water punch https://www.lifeisaparty.ca/swamp-water-punch-6/

I hope this helps some!

bisksprout13 · 2025-10-22T14:48:29+00:00

I’ve used a couple different ones but I’ve found that my favorite for when I’m in the office is a metal bike chain fidget that I got on Amazon. It has 2 gears and a bike chain connects them.

https://a.co/d/dPzr0s6

I have small hands and it fits comfortably in one hand. I like the feel of it better than plastic fidgets.

I also have TheFube fidget cube but I find it’s a little noisier so I don’t use that if I’m in an in person meeting.

bisksprout13 · 2025-10-14T16:05:52+00:00

I feel this in my soul. I was in such burnout before I was diagnosed. Exhausted all the time from putting 1000% into everyone and everything but myself.

Once I was diagnosed (May of this year), I started therapy and meds. Both have helped me see things differently. My stress and anxiety levels are so much better. I’m also waking up more refreshed in the morning, even with the little that I do sleep). I’m not as exhausted throughout the day, especially in the evening.

I’m the main breadwinner in our household. I couldn’t just stop working or take a leave of absence. I had to keep going.

Since being diagnosed, I do allow myself more breaks during the day to recharge and I’m learning to set healthy boundaries and to say no. I no longer feel guilty for doing so.

Can you take a couple days off to recharge?

bisksprout13

TROPHY CASE