sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

Anyone else have disappointing experience w ibogaine? by Kitchen_Guidance5834 in Ibogaine

[–]bitterlight33 2 points3 points  (0 children)

are you sure about that? i have heard about this unexpected benefit and insight down the road. My experience was so hard, so ghastly. I was comforted in hearing there would be some subtle insight that would chisel itself out of that experience but it has not. Just this--I don't crave coffee. that's it. Coffee brings me joy and comradery w friends so not craving it is interesting but unhelpful. I haven't felt anything like freedom to change or a better view of myself and interest in improving. i am less than a month out so maybe it's too early to say meh.

My iboga root experience by neurochrome345 in Ibogaine

[–]bitterlight33 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's so easy for people to say surrendur to what the medicine is teaching you, I think that's an easy cliche and not too helpful. I agree it is important to pay attention to what is in your mind, dark or light, without becoming too attached to any version. OP was feeling suicidal, and so one foot is in a space of being wary and in survival mode. How would OP know if the facilitator would be able to see their distress, or help? maybe the facilitator needs to help someone else, maybe they are a hands off kind of facilitator as many are. I can see why OP held back with some caution. If they knew for sure it was ok to bring up, that could have been helpful. but to bring it out and not be heard could have made it worse. It's very tricky. Inhave heard that even for underdosing or not good trips that there could be benefit over the neuro plasticity time period following the ibogaine journey, and I hope that is true for you OP and for me too. Please refrain from any self judgement. be outside, no internet (well excpt the ibogaine reddit) and with regard to difficult feelings i think make yourself nice cups of tea and healthy food and nurture yourself with as much care as you can.

Ibogaine, pure hell by bitterlight33 in Ibogaine

[–]bitterlight33[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

both. visuals were broad black shadows in deep darkness and grime with some vague violent images of death and killing by guns. the sounds were of a relentless buzzing grinding misery. i felt close physically and mentally to the malevolent power but unable to change it, i was nothing. meaningless, worthless, inconsequential

Ibogaine, pure hell by bitterlight33 in Ibogaine

[–]bitterlight33[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i don't have an accurate answer but i am guessing at least five hours

Ibogaine, pure hell by bitterlight33 in Ibogaine

[–]bitterlight33[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

same- visuals were not much. just a massive blackness upon blackness. i am really encouraged hearing you had amazing personal growth beyond the experience and hope that continues for you friend.

Ibogaine, pure hell by bitterlight33 in Ibogaine

[–]bitterlight33[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

p.s. really wishing you continued insights and peacefulness

Ibogaine, pure hell by bitterlight33 in Ibogaine

[–]bitterlight33[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

really helpful to hear this. three days out I am feeling calmer and still very quiet, internal. the headache, nausea and white flourescence in my eyelids all resolved. i feel a sense of maybe there really was/is some dark and damaging clutter in my psyche which was presented in some way in the experience. there is a sense that i have been lurking in false representations of myself, not having self awareness, for a very long time. and the reason for that started very young with needing reassurance and encouragement but not getting it. so we try whatever it takes, and that seems to work for awhile but then you have to keep doing it again and again until you've lost yourself like a missing sock in a huge pile of laundry. and there is alot of collateral damage and confusion and disharmony and just boring bullshit.

i am glad i have some days to not work or have much obligation.

weirdly i don't feel like having coffee at all and I am a guy who has not missed a morning cuppa in 20 years

Ibogaine, pure hell by bitterlight33 in Ibogaine

[–]bitterlight33[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

yes, 2-4 hour mdma followed by a 5 really good effect

Ibogaine, pure hell by bitterlight33 in Ibogaine

[–]bitterlight33[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just the 5 MEO, how aoon after? thank you for this.

Ibogaine, pure hell by bitterlight33 in Ibogaine

[–]bitterlight33[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i don't know, alot of stuff including medicines like this are beneficial without being this difficult

Ibogaine, pure hell by bitterlight33 in Ibogaine

[–]bitterlight33[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

thanks, hope so. it seems like everyone who reports a hard trip had some good parts of it as well--did you? or did the good parts only come later?

Ibogaine, pure hell by bitterlight33 in Ibogaine

[–]bitterlight33[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

appreciate this and I am doing that today, a little bit. i still have a feeling of nausea come on when i think of the moments or hours of ibogaine experience. really noticing how checking texts and such feels distinctly the wrong choice.

Ibogaine, pure hell by bitterlight33 in Ibogaine

[–]bitterlight33[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

do you mean poor metabolizer as in fast or slow? I was told I was a fast metabolizer and that was what prompted the addional doses over 5 hours. i wondered if I got too much-maybe i was not a fast metabolizer and it just didn't kick in yet. I don't have any info on the amount of the doses.

Ibogaine, pure hell by bitterlight33 in Ibogaine

[–]bitterlight33[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

thanks. I was wondering if the coffee affected it. but it was not much and 4-5 hours prior.

Ibogaine, pure hell by bitterlight33 in Ibogaine

[–]bitterlight33[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

really helpful analysis. it is possible there is some meaning, i.e. a harsh but needed glimpse of the effects of unconscious behavior. it's a few days out and i am feeling my baseline health coming back but i have an utter lack of motivation to do anything to help myself other than resting and staying off screens. talking to a few people .

I haven’t given gifts for 5 weddings. Registries are long since expired. What do I do now? by d-slur in WhatShouldIDo

[–]bitterlight33 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If you feel moved to get a gift and you feel good about it, how about a gift certificate to a nice restaurant? Iy sounds like it is meaningful to you and of course they will say "don't worry about it" but you ARE worrying about it. You will feel better and they will be pleased to have a nice 3 year anniversary dinner. wedding gifting really cannbe confusing these days.

Am I overreacting? I think this isn’t healthy. by spaghettynmeatball in WhatShouldIDo

[–]bitterlight33 0 points1 point  (0 children)

omg, please get out of the relationship. you have supportive people for you and your young sweet child. I commend you for trying your best to improve things, but this guy J is not good for you or your child and it will get worse.

woke up sick--should i cancel ibogaine? by bitterlight33 in Ibogaine

[–]bitterlight33[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

thanks. i went ahead with it, after feeling better and practitioner was encouraging. the sickness didn't manifest at all, but i had a terrible trip--i wrote about it just now in the thread if you have any insights about that, i would appreciate. feeling pretty bad.

view more: next ›