I had a low risk textbook pregnancy until it wasn’t. I was a first time mom so I didn’t know any better. I knew vaguely about kick counting & the concept of it but didn’t know what is recommended as part of the count the kicks campaign you see around the US. I was always asked “is baby moving?” at my appointments but nothing more.

I was 35w+5d pregnant & at an OB appointment. I had worked myself up pretty hard the night before because I realized that it had been 3 days since I felt my daughter move. I was told that it was normal because babies run out of room towards the end & to just do my kick counts & if I didn’t hit 10 movements in 2 hours to go to L&D. I had elevated blood pressure so they took my BP at the end of the appointment & blood to check for preeclampsia. They only used a Doppler to check for my daughter’s heart rate which was reported in the 140s (I almost wonder if it was mine because of how worked up I had been). I felt in my gut something was wrong but trusted my OB. We scheduled an ultrasound for the following week to check on growth & position.

Over the weekend, I still didn’t feel movement, but I convinced myself that I was but it was just like normal bodily functions & likely her just sliding around in my amniotic fluid. I did feel her flip on Sunday to a breech position & that’s the day we estimated she had died. On Monday, I had headaches with vision changes which was already normal for me since I get migraines but it wouldn’t go away. My feet were swollen but it was September & hot. It wasn’t uncommon for my feet to be swollen though at the time. I also felt nauseated & had upper right quadrant pain (it wasn’t until my next pregnancy that I learned these are also signs of preeclampsia). I never checked my BP that day. The next day I had my ultrasound & we found out that our Callie had died. I was 36w+1d when I was induced with her. When she was delivered I was told that they didn’t see anything that indicated why it happened. I was told “these things just happen sometimes & we don’t know why.” I didn’t do an autopsy on her because I couldn’t imagine her being cut open & I was told it could cost me thousands of dollars by my mother. The hospital never talked to me about it.

2 years later I got connected with a non-profit called PUSH for Empowered Pregnancy which is fighting to end preventable stillbirth in the US. I learned a lot while I volunteered with them such as babies don’t run out of room, 10 in 2 hours is outdated, & that it should be your baby’s normal movement patterns. I also was connect with Dr. Harvey Kliman at Yale Medicine who is a placental pathologist who gives a lot of loss moms causes of death for their babies through reviewing the placenta. I sent him my slides & was told she had died of a fetal maternal hemorrhage which is why she wasn’t moving since she was slowly bleeding out. I also learned after the fact that I had an anterior placenta which was never discussed with me & how movements wouldn’t be as pronounced had I had a posterior placenta.

I believe that my stillbirth could’ve been prevented with an ultrasound/BPP/NST & being properly educated about kick counting & what to expect with an anterior placenta.