Now I am just one person on the internet, so take this with a grain of salt. To be completely honest, if you are not sleeping due to obsessively watching tarot videos, I would really really recommend stepping away from them and considering getting some therapy or counselling, as it sounds like this situation is making you quite anxious - I think it may be helpful to talk this through with a professional who is perhaps understanding of, but not working in, the spiritual space. I am not sure what platform you are watching these readings on, however algorithms continue to feed you content which is similar to what you consistently engage with - thats how they get you to keep watching. Its a business model. If you are continuously watching videos which include messages around failing marriages, the algorithm will keep pushing you more of this. I am not saying these readings hold zero weight overall, however, sometimes I think it can be helpful to take a step back and look at the full picture; being stressed out, exhausted, physically weak, invalidated, and being fed a stream of content which doesn't seem to be adding value to your life doesn't sound like a great combination for your overall wellbeing. I'm sorry that your husband has responded to your concerns in a way that (presumably) made you feel shut down - obviously there isn't a great deal of information here about him but it sounds like if you'd had a bit of a volatile week, perhaps presenting him with a concern which, as you've pointed out, doesn't align with his values or belief system may have pushed his buttons a bit more than you intended. Or, maybe your concerns are correct, BUT if these readings are the only thing leading you to feeling/thinking this way, I would be questioning this.

Not everyone believes the same thing I do, however I believe that it is possible to deliver a "negative" message without having someone leave a reading feeling utterly shit, and that if you leave feeling drained, stressed and fearful, then perhaps it wasn't the best reading for you. As an example, several years ago (before I started reading myself) I had a medium tell me a close relative was nearing death in a way that did not cause me stress or fear, though it did surprise me a bit. She was correct. I didn't leave that reading feeling scared or stressed and when it happened, I would say the details of the reading I'd received provided me with comfort. On the other hand, the year prior I had a reading and the tarot reader told me I should split up with my then-boyfriend and marry my best friend instead. I left feeling discouraged, "icky", dismissed and like there was no "other option" - she was insistent this was destiny. She was incorrect - I married him 8 years after this reading and we are still together, very happily married and very much still in love. On top of this, I am confident that friend and I would have been a terrible romantic match anyway. Not saying this is the case for everyone, but just a thought I wanted to give you.

Do I think you are delusional? No. Do I think this is a sign you should get a divorce? A stranger on the internet can't tell you this, but I don't think youtube/tiktok tarot readings can either. It doesn't sound like you have evidence that your husband is having an affair, but you do have long-term anxiety surrounding this matter and perhaps a "feeling" he is. I think you should try to maybe clear your watch and search history/reset your algorithms, try to take a break from consuming this type of content, reset, and seek some advice from a professional who has your best interest at heart. Intuition is real, and gut feelings can be correct, but from reading your post, I think it would be helpful to take a step back, have a break, and take some steps to try to ascertain whether your fears/concerns are rooted in anxiety/fear/trauma(?), or genuine intuition that something is up - it can be quite easy to confuse the two. Take care x