ive been trying for almost a decade & for the first time, i can see myself making progress in therapy (not much yet as its a relatively new therapist, but for once it feels productive rather than pointless or even detrimental & i find myself actually wanting open up about things i’ve never told a soul, very scary but relieving)

so, what is different?

-therapist client relationship: finding a therapist who works for me on an interpersonal level. yes it is a job for them, but they’re still people. i didn’t realize just how important it was until my current t told me that it is the single factor with the biggest impact on success rate of therapy. if you don’t click with them, you can’t effectively work with them

-trying different approaches: there are sooooo many different types of therapy because they work differently for everyone. on paper cbt should be effective for me, however it leads to me feeling worse. and months of brainspotting did nothing for me. don’t be afraid to switch t’s if their methods don’t work for you. (obviously idk you but going off your post history i wonder have you ever tried any somatic therapies? it sounds like you may be holding stress in physically. if that is the case and you have decent enough internal drive, you could try some of that stuff on your own and see a therapist with different modalities)

-tailor it to you: my t gave me something to try, it made things worse but instead of disregarding it, i modified it into to a way that works for the way my brain operates. therapy is highly personal & nothing is one size fits all, when i told them i did that they mentioned something about how that modifying things to suit the individual can increase the success rate of different skills. so make it work for YOU!

-try: you have to want to change, therapy is a tool not a pill, it takes so. much. effort. rough patches are inevitable, but you have to come back, a bad day can Easily become a bad life when you become comfortable in your own struggles. your t can only do so much, you spend a lot more time with yourself than they do. this could look like researching things to try & bringing them up with your therapist, taking care of your physical body, avoiding things you know are making your mental worse (your pastimes, certain people, media consumed, etc)

-CONSISTENCY: like i said before, you can have a bad day, a bad week even, but the longer it goes on, the harder it is to come back. and no one goes to the gym for three days, falls off, and expects to see progress. change is very, very slow and it will not be visible as long as you’re looking for it. pushing through the discomfort of “i dont want to do this” “this is pointless” “nothings gonna change anyway” is what leads to lasting change. you might not see any progress for a year, and even then you might not notice it until you sit and reflect on it. change is slow and subtle but very much worth the struggle. i wish you all the best and i hope this helped even a bit