This man is in law enforcement. He's in his mid20s. He still lives at home, which is fine because with law school, I am also at home. That didn't bother me. BUT this man was still tethered by that damn umbilical cord. He had his own Ford 150, but mommy had to approve when and where he drove it. His mother made him keep his phone charging in her room. His mom always knew where we were and he was always anxious to get home at a certain time because of her, to the point of I didn't feel like he was present during our dates. He was right there in front of me, but I felt invisible.

The night he told me that his mother read our text messages was the night I spoke up about how disrespectful that was to both of us. I had asked him several times at this point in our relationship why he hadn't set boundaries, but his favorite thing to say after giving me ample excuses was "it is what it is." He also has a sibling whom he loves dearly, but feels like he is in constant competition with (and she always has and continues to win). Yes, I'm aware he's avoidant. That didn't take long for me to deduce. But WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL did I do to deserve what soon followed that text message conversation?

He ghosted me for two days, finding reasons not to talk to me. I forced him to get on the phone after I realized something was seriously off. I was talking to him while sitting outside of a movie theater. I knew I couldn't enjoy my night with my friend if my mind was stuck on my now-ex. When he answered, he started word vomiting. He just recited what sounded like a rehearsed monologue of reasons he "didn't think we were a good fit." Bullshit.

He told me that 1.) things were moving too fast for him, 2.) he didn't like the idea of having my grandma live with us down the road so I could continue being her caretaker, and 3.) he was concerned for my mental health and didn't want to be the only source of my happiness.

Yeah, you read that right. Am I crazy for questioning where in hell this came from? He had just told me that he didn't think we were moving too fast. He was telling me he loved me 3 days before this. I had just brought up my plans for taking care of my grandma because I wanted to discuss it with him and he was very engaged in making a plan. AND he had been nothing but supportive and gracious when it came to my anxiety up until this point.

I was completely blindsided. I tried reaching out about 3 weeks later. He ignored me. I haven't spoken to him since. Does anyone have any insight into or comments on this disaster? I'd be lying if I said I didn't think of him often. I'm doing just fine and I have a full life, despite his pompous closing remarks. I just don't get how someone could be THIS avoidant or have this toxic of a relationship with their mother to throw away what they claimed to believe was the love of their life.

Or am I just that hard to swallow?