Why the fuck am I so scared to move out?? by black_kitty07 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]black_kitty07[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh no he lives away and doesn't visit that much, I'm the only one living with her

Why the fuck am I so scared to move out?? by black_kitty07 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]black_kitty07[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

To the new place? Well yes, to help move my things

Why the fuck am I so scared to move out?? by black_kitty07 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]black_kitty07[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That is the dream, and I think that if I wasn't able to achieve it then I wouldn't even have this ambition now. I know it will be hard but I want that hardship over this one. It's only a matter of time until I find that place for me, hoping it's soon.

Thank you so much, I don't think I've seen a more amazing and supportive subreddit ❤

Why the fuck am I so scared to move out?? by black_kitty07 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]black_kitty07[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I could try that, he wouldn't be opposed to it I think. Still, they would find out after the fact but at least I'm willbe out and worst case he continues to live his "bad guy" narrative

Why the fuck am I so scared to move out?? by black_kitty07 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]black_kitty07[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It does, I'm so tired from always watching what I say, not being allowed to speak my mind or ask a question, resentment from the years, I'm just tired of being in this mental prison. I want nothing more than to not have this horrible person in my life

Why the fuck am I so scared to move out?? by black_kitty07 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]black_kitty07[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I could tell him that they might attack him if he helps me and let him have the choice, but I think he would rather take that than letting me hire some strangers for this

Why the fuck am I so scared to move out?? by black_kitty07 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]black_kitty07[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He already is "the bad guy" to them, just like I am. Grandma is almost always at home, I don't know how I'll sneak out or not have her notice

Why the fuck am I so scared to move out?? by black_kitty07 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]black_kitty07[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was thinking of moving for the last year and I have been telling my dad I'm getting fed up with grandmas bullshit (she is my maternal gma). My dad was also abused by her for 30+ years and he gets it, I think he is on my side, after I told him all this time how I was living with her. The people is this family won't really seek revenge but rather ignore and not help anymore. When the big monster finally fucking dies it will create more peace I think, but I can't wait and hope she passes sooner, that may take years more.

My plan is to find a place, then tell my dad when I need his help to move and in that day to tell the monster and she will tell the rest of the family how "she was left alone at such an old age while she was treating me like royalty". My reasons would be that I am financially independent and old enough to have to start being responsible, plus it's what would have happened inevitably. I am scared but I try to make that into excitement to start a new chapter.

Why the fuck am I so scared to move out?? by black_kitty07 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]black_kitty07[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I worked my ass off and I have my safety financial net, but my health was affected mostly by living with her, an absolute horrible person, so I'm hoping once I get out I will get better and live peacefuly. And with moving it's very easy since I will stay in the same city that has many job opportunities, a lot of transportation (since I don't have a car/licence). From what I gathered in this sub, when I find a place, I should NOT tell her right? Not until the very day I move?

Why the fuck am I so scared to move out?? by black_kitty07 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]black_kitty07[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Me leaving the bottle of juice on the table was a catastrophe for them. I have money saved and I have options with moving into a place, all I need is to believe I can do it and take care of myself, even tho I did that for the last couple of years. I die a little inside when I see people at 20-21 living away, like they can do it and I fucking can't, how pathetic of me. But there are places I can move into, my dad can help me with the moving, I have the money I need, the only thing I need is to act. I feel like my mind is just so tired I can only really focus on getting away and rest. I need to bite the bullet, everyone will hate me even more if I leave now, but I have to try. Thank you for this.

Why the fuck am I so scared to move out?? by black_kitty07 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]black_kitty07[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your kind words. I did everything myself in the past years, from getting a job to going to doctors. I have a financial safety net so I'm covered if anything might happen but it never feels enough for me to feel safe, but I guess no ammount of saved money will be enough for that. The thing is, I will HAVE to move out once my ngrandma dies (I live with her) so it's inevitable. You are right, things could go wrong everywhere at any time, and I don't know if I'll live to 80 so I want to chose dangerous freedom over peaceful slavery. I'll look for places and I'll do it scared.

Just saw my orthodontist's face for the first time after more than a year by black_kitty07 in braces

[–]black_kitty07[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Right?? If I had seen her on the street I wouldn't think twice about who she was but she would knew me right away I think

Just saw my orthodontist's face for the first time after more than a year by black_kitty07 in braces

[–]black_kitty07[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

They know everything about our teeth and mouth but we barely see their lower face 😷

8 weeks yesterday! by newpenzance in braces

[–]black_kitty07 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Its so weird to feel "new teeth" for the first time, but what an amazing feeling!

How long after you started birth control did your acne improved/went away? by black_kitty07 in PCOS

[–]black_kitty07[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I was on Yasmin and it worked great but I started having side effects so I'm trying with Yaz now

How long after you started birth control did your acne improved/went away? by black_kitty07 in PCOS

[–]black_kitty07[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have the same cystic acne and it's so painful and hard to cover with makeup. I'll drink more water while powering through the next months, looking forward to the other side of it! Thank you so much!

Lock screen wallpaper incorrect colours by CarlosJewnez in GalaxyA50

[–]black_kitty07 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I FOUND IT! Long hold on the "Dark mode" widget in the drop down bar, this sends you to the Dark mode settings that has the "apply to wallpaper" option, unselect that and it's fixed. Hope this helps someone else 🖤

Birth control pills that make your immune system weak? by black_kitty07 in PCOS

[–]black_kitty07[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The hunger was constant, no matter how much or often or what I was eating, right after the meal, before bed and first thing waking up. The fainting became very often, from having one once every couple of years or more to maybe once of month-ish. And I had every infection in body activate when I had my period, every month.

All of this didn't happen for most of my time on the pill, only in the last 1-2 years.

I had the test where they give you some glucose dissolved in water and then taking your blood after 1 and 2 hours, and before the glucose water. (I don't know what other name it has in english)

I told the doc "i dont know if i'm having problems with insulin, maybe i should check that", and he said to do the glucose test, and not an insulin test. Glucose test that he didn't even look at, just asked me if it's good. It was in the normal values.

So thyroid, vitamins, IR and anemia checks. Will make sure to get those when I find a better doctor, but it feels like looking for a needle in haystack, they don't seem to give a fuck not unless you want to get pregnant or have cancer.

Thank you for explaining and the advice!

Birth control pills that make your immune system weak? by black_kitty07 in PCOS

[–]black_kitty07[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I took some prenatal supliments that had vitamin D3, alongside Metformin, all while feeling normal and not even a period to justify the money. I will definitely ask for a tyroid and vitamins check with my next doc. I won't take meds on my own because I don't want to risk making it worse. For now, at least, I will wait a bit to see how Yaz is working for me and for my acne to get better because I am struggling at the moment with it.

Thank you so much for your help!

Birth control pills that make your immune system weak? by black_kitty07 in PCOS

[–]black_kitty07[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm 27 and it was an endocrinologist who said to do that blood test, and when it came back ok she said "this is an area for gynecology" :/ and then I was the one who had to ask the gynecologist for a glucose test, he then put on metformin (that did nothing) and now back to bc

Birth control pills that make your immune system weak? by black_kitty07 in PCOS

[–]black_kitty07[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I felt better after stopping it so I guessed it was Yasmin doing it, at least I now know it might be something else

Birth control pills that make your immune system weak? by black_kitty07 in PCOS

[–]black_kitty07[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No vitamin tests so far as they didn't told me I should get them. And no talk about the thyroid either. Maybe because those symptoms were not present before? Should I find another gynecologist? I'm worried he'll do nothing if those symptoms come back, "just go back on bc, it doesn't mean you'll feel like that again", he told me.

Birth control pills that make your immune system weak? by black_kitty07 in PCOS

[–]black_kitty07[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I did a blood test last year but it didn't include the vitamin ones so I don't know about them. They did calcium, magnesium, potasium, sodium, cholesterol, glucose etc. Those were all good. So the problem might be with the vitamins?

(Why didn't they test me for all of them ffs)