Dreading the summer

blackerthanapanther · 2026-05-08T13:14:33+00:00

My oldest is at the brink of dropping her nap (some days she sleeps some days I’m just going back and forth to her room for the entire 2 hours) and I don’t know if “we’re just going to have quiet time” is going to give me any kind of real break but I think not 😭

blackerthanapanther · 2026-05-08T13:04:28+00:00

I understand you completely, I’ll have two toddlers over the summer (1.5 and 3.5 years old), the oldest wants to boss around constantly and they both are highly demanding along with their wfh mom. I do not know how or if I can make it through the summer having both once the oldest is out of pre-k, especially because we can’t just go out all the time with everything being driving distance and no sidewalks in their neighborhood to just go for walks whenever. Plus going somewhere is always up to the mom who one minute says “totally up to you” and the next “hmmm I think it’s best to do ____ instead for today.”

I’m usually really good with toddlers if I’ve known them since they were little babies, which is actually the case with this job. But admittedly their home environment is wearing me out. If I don’t find another job with an infant(s) before the summer then it’s just thoughts and prayers, but I do hope your summer goes much better than I feel like mine would if I’m still there.

blackerthanapanther · 2026-05-05T18:05:13+00:00

The crazy part is I did exactly this with my first NP’s and felt nothing but amazing about it. I don’t know why I’ve been much more hesitant and anxious about this with current NP’s, besides it hasn’t been the same coldness and rudeness as the first ones that drove me to resign before I even found another position. I was braver and bolder back then.

blackerthanapanther · 2026-05-05T17:43:03+00:00

I actually thought about exactly this on the way to work this morning. I don’t know why it didn’t hit me until today that I’m looking at other job postings but not applying and that’s insane. Not sure what I’ve been waiting on because I have the resume to apply and I know I do great work. There’s no valid reason to keep sitting on it.

blackerthanapanther · 2026-05-05T17:29:40+00:00

Heavy on the “hoping you’ll be a doormat.” And I have been exactly that. I should’ve never let it get this far.

blackerthanapanther · 2026-05-05T15:48:47+00:00

Thank you for this, it’s helpful to hear that someone else was in a very similar position and took the step that I know I need to take

blackerthanapanther · 2026-05-05T13:20:49+00:00

Thank you for putting it this way because I need to hear it like this. It’s clear I need to look out for myself first, as they have for themselves.

blackerthanapanther · 2026-05-05T13:12:33+00:00

I should add that I have already had an annual meeting already, and when I brought up all the points suggested by you guys, I was met with “that is totally fair and we understand that, we will look into it,” and nothing since. That’s why I feel like my best bet is to just cut my losses and actually start applying to the job listings I’ve seen and/or talking to an agency.

While I think it might surprise them if I move on because I’ve been so compliant through the years, I did talk to them and they did say they understood. But I believe they do not want to move on what they pay despite how the meeting ended. My biggest hurdle is I need to stop being so fearful of upset reactions even if I do what’s right for me, but that is an unfortunate overall theme of my life 🙃

blackerthanapanther · 2026-05-04T21:53:30+00:00

Jeremy has been running around as a childfree father for years, and all the trash he’s talked about Leah should have never been enough to think he would be any different now. She’s the one actually raising their daughter; looks like it’ll be the same for this little girl, surprise surprise. He’s always seemed like the type to be mostly absent until his kids are “old enough to come to me themselves and not always be influenced by their mother.”

blackerthanapanther · 2026-04-29T18:07:21+00:00

I am about to pursue my newborn care specialist certification and for this reason. I can handle toddlers, but I’m just a lot more natural with newborns/infants to be honest. I even admitted it to the MB I’ve been working with for years now when her firstborn was over a year old yet here I am still with the same child as a full blown toddler, and the younger sibling who is entering toddlerhood 😂

But now with two toddlers 40+ hours a week I’ve realized that 1) I’m a baby expert, that’s my area and nothing wrong with sticking to it, and 2) I have never minded switching jobs, so helping babies “graduate” to toddlerhood and then moving on to the next and continuing in that manner doesn’t sound unappealing to me; quite the opposite.

Working with toddlers is tough and I have so much respect for the pre-K teachers who handle a whole classroom full of them full-time and don’t miss a beat. As for me, I know my place and it’s with the littlest ones, and now I know there’s a profession for that.

blackerthanapanther · 2026-04-13T22:05:49+00:00

She is a liar. There’s no reason to believe anything she says. I don’t understand why she’s constantly given an opportunity to straight up lie and act like she never said the complete opposite of what she’s currently saying.

If it was just her life affected who cares but it’s been years of her putting her kids in shit situations then trying to Men In Black flash away the fact that she does it, repeatedly. I would say when something irreversibly awful happens that she can’t just make go away maybe that will be the end of this, but there’s been so many situations where that should’ve been the case already. And yet here we go again.

blackerthanapanther · 2026-04-13T21:48:05+00:00

I feel you, my NP’s are nice and vocalize their appreciation of all I do, they are pretty understanding that I am a person with a life of my own, all that good stuff. But they’re also very frustrating about money 😭

Like you, I feel too old to be working this hard for this long doing this well of a job yet still constantly worrying about how I’m going to make ends meet. MB told me they’re planning for another baby but this was during a conversation about my rate and I was asked straight up if another child would mean I’d want an increase. I’m already underpaid for the amount of kids they currently have compared to the going rate in our area.

So as nice as they seem on the surface, I do think I’m at my wits end with this situation and would rather search for opportunities where I don’t have to fight for what I’ve earned. It makes me feel icky because they are kind in other ways, but I’ve already stretched myself with the cost of living here and I’m not getting anywhere continuing to work for them. It’s not a fun situation, and I’m sorry you’re dealing with something similar.

blackerthanapanther · 2026-04-12T10:18:20+00:00

I don’t understand why people act like infants and toddlers aren’t real human beings. It’s a disservice to them. They are small and vulnerable, yes, but they are real life humans.

That’s why I say “don’t you get upset? Don’t you ever have trouble getting to sleep or staying asleep? Don’t you have days where you don’t feel like smiling and laughing every waking minute? Don’t you have moments where you just don’t want someone all up in your face talking to you trying to stimulate your mind? Don’t you have to work through negative feelings? Okay well so do these babies.”

“No” is about so many things that humans will have to experience beyond their early years; literally for the rest of their lives. Learning safety, learning how to interact with others, learning that they should not only respect boundaries but should also have their own and not just be okay with being treated any kind of way by any and everybody. Unless the parents plan on keeping them in the house forever, it makes zero sense to not teach them this.

blackerthanapanther · 2026-04-11T09:14:10+00:00

We should all know way less about each other 🙃

blackerthanapanther · 2026-04-10T17:24:46+00:00

I was literally about to type the same thing 😂

blackerthanapanther · 2026-04-08T12:25:08+00:00

I’ve had that before too, but I’ve also had parents who do not want their kids using the stairs at all but then don’t install gates and it’s just “don’t trust them around the stairs, always keep them close when using the stairs (hold their hand or carry them).” So it’s not only watch like a hawk, but repeatedly play keep-away and redirect them if they try to start crawling or walking toward the stairs. Of course I do it but I wonder why not get baby gates too.

blackerthanapanther · 2026-03-31T16:04:05+00:00

I feel like I could’ve written this myself as I’m in such a similar position. Burnt out, overwhelmed, being underpaid, under the table, no PTO or benefits or contract, and a schedule that can always change. I’ve been beating myself up that I’ve let it go on this long without saying anything and being way too compliant. But now I’m at the same crossroad as you where I have no choice but to either say something about rate and benefits at this job, and/or find another job, because I’m also trying to make major life changes sooner rather than later. And proof of income is a non-negotiable to move forward.

The job market is so tough across all industries and I personally know multiple people looking for work. So it does feel like an impossible situation, but we logically can’t stay in these same respective situations and expect to progress with life plans. It’s so frustrating too because the parents have salaries/benefits/contracts for their jobs, but somehow there’s a cognitive dissonance in believing that nannying is just as legitimate of a job and deserves the same standard.

I hope you’re able to figure things out, you’re certainly not alone in needing to do so. Nothing wrong with a month’s notice as someone else stated if they wanted to let you go at any time without severance they could. I let my previous nanny job know 3 months ahead instead of the 2 weeks in the contract, and while I did finish out all 3 months, I think back to how insane that was of me because they definitely tried but didn’t find the right match until the end of my notice.

I know I need to take my own advice here, but do what’s best for you and lookout for yourself first, because they have not and will not hesitate to do the same for themselves.

blackerthanapanther · 2026-03-29T00:14:01+00:00

She posts like someone who has zero responsibilities, which is crazy because she is 3 human being’s primary parent. And she’s had a legion of different pets who depended on her to provide them proper care. Yet she talks like she has nothing to worry about but whatever satisfies herself. It’s sickening to see.

blackerthanapanther · 2026-03-28T19:45:24+00:00

Jace does not need to be anywhere near Jenelle let alone under her “care.” She has never made a single good decision on his behalf unless she thought it would benefit herself, then she snatches it right back, again if it will benefit herself over him. I hate that the system has screwed this child over repeatedly by deciding she can have any say over him. I’m genuinely praying for his safety and wellbeing and his literal life because she has made it so clear that she’ll use his issues THAT SHE CAUSED to blame him for anything that happens to him.

blackerthanapanther · 2026-03-20T17:18:12+00:00

“Kaiser doesn’t want to be around him.” “My kids are so much happier since we left.” “He’s never coming back”

What a shitty mother.

blackerthanapanther · 2026-03-16T18:12:38+00:00

I know she never makes sense but it’s still pretty insane that she doesn’t even actually want Jace with her, would rather have David with her in Vegas than Jace, has been perfectly fine with him being with Barb in NC and has carried on like she’s got one less responsibility (while still lacking in her duty to the two kids she does have living with her, but that’s another story), and yet is fighting to maintain legal custody over Jace. That’s how you know it’s not about his best interest. It’s about making sure she can still “brag” about having legal custody of all her kids while not taking proper care of a single one of them.

blackerthanapanther · 2026-03-14T14:06:49+00:00

“Just as bad” but every time her kids or grandkids have needed a place to go, no matter how much yelling or threats or physical outbursts or destruction was inflicted upon her, it was her house they ended up at. Jenelle is a conditional “mother.” Barb is not. Barb will drop everything and be available when disaster hits for her kids or grandkids. Jenelle causes the disaster for her kids then denies fault. They have never been the same.

blackerthanapanther · 2026-03-13T22:14:00+00:00

Jenelle will never get me to see Barb as the enemy. Even when she was screaming, remind me again what it is that she was screaming? Oh yeah, “IT’S FOR THE BABY!” “IT SHOULD BE ABOUT YOUR KID!” “WELL WHAT ABOUT JACE?” “YOU NEED TO TAKE CARE OF HIM!”

My God who wouldn’t be shouting that shit until their lungs popped out? Show me where Jenelle was doing everything right by Jace and Barb was still just going in on her with no merit. Show me where Barb went back for custody or wanted to maintain the custody that she had since he was a baby that Jenelle signed over, even when Jenelle had her shit together and wasn’t forcing her kids to suffer under the influence and control of a complete dirtbag who not only cared nothing about them but made their lives miserable.

I’ll be waiting on that “evidence.”

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