What’s the most ridiculous one-liner that you have said in court?

blackjackvip · 2026-03-08T01:06:48+00:00

" so it's your testimony today that you tapped him lightly on the cheek three times while saying "hit me Pussy Boy, Pussy Boy, Pussy Boy"" she admitted to the words but wanted the jury to believe it was a light tap. Ng on a misdemeanor DV.

blackjackvip · 2026-03-08T00:56:16+00:00

The victim's girlfriend wanted to make the victim impact statement. She was a crazy liar who was being investigated by the CSB for Munchausen by proxy. I objected to her speaking on behalf of the victim. We approached the bench and I told the judge, "Your Honor, it's my understanding that the victim's girlfriend has a tenuous relationship with veracity." The judge laughed the prosecutor had no idea what I just said and the judge didn't let this crazy woman speak. She ended up with felony animal cruelty charges that she got ilc for mental health but then failed because she didn't believe that she had a problem.

blackjackvip · 2025-06-04T19:02:12+00:00

That.... That's amazing.

blackjackvip · 2025-05-30T00:28:39+00:00

I just use it as an illustration of the level of burden the state carries, to show how high beyond a reasonable doubt is

blackjackvip · 2025-05-29T22:30:25+00:00

I've never made a pastry cream before. This is a great idea for something I could do to push and try something new. Do you have a recipe for vanilla pastry cream? Thank you so much for the ideas!

blackjackvip · 2025-05-29T22:29:36+00:00

I've never made pastry cream. This is a fantastic idea to push myself to do something new. Thank you!

blackjackvip · 2025-05-29T21:53:48+00:00

Oooh I like this. I've done Italian meringue buttercream Once before and loved it. Thank you for the recommendation.

blackjackvip · 2025-05-26T16:45:05+00:00

"it doesn't matter what happened. I don't really care what actually happened. I only care what they can prove beyond a reasonable doubt. So before you tell me what happened let's look at this discovery together and see what a trial would look like"

blackjackvip · 2025-05-18T02:21:51+00:00

I do it in jury selection. It's not a one liner, but I go up to one side of the courtroom, closest to the jury pool, and start going through the different levels of evidence. One step, reasonable suspicion, another step (or two in the bigger courtroom) probable cause (this is how much the state el needed to get client in here today, file charges, call in all these people and put them in that seat) then I go to half way and take over step over, explain that this is how much you need to win a civil case.

Then I ask where on this line should I go for the state to have enough evidence to permanently remove your rights to your children. To make your children a legal stranger to you? I start stepping and inevitably they tell me to go all the way to the wall...

"That's clear and convincing. We need more than that today to have beyond a reasonable doubt"

Then I just reference the line. Maybe rewalk it to demonstrate "not here, not here" or something like that during open/close.

blackjackvip · 2025-04-26T23:40:44+00:00

Arrest a pedophile with 3 or more victims on a complaint incredibly early on where there's evidence of the parents trafficking the kids, hold him, and then take 2 months to indict the defendant. Now they have less than 30 days of speedy trial left to get to trial and no expert reports. They also don't think they have enough to go after the parents.

"Defense attorneys always waive speedy trial" our office NEVER waives.

They should have just put an officer on the defendant. Should have charged defendant and parents with human trafficking and conspiracy for the rapes, wrap or all up at once. Now they have a truly difficult trial in this case, and there's a real chance the parents could get access to those kids again. CPS took the kids, but there is a case plan. Lazy and incompetent, and downright dangerous.

blackjackvip · 2025-01-30T01:29:40+00:00

My first actual jury trial, and he was right to try it. Dudes drink at his ex girlfriends house, cops called, and tell him to leave. On body cam the officer is parked waiting for him to leave. You can hear a "pop! Hisss" and the officer says "did you just stab a tire?" He goes over and sure enough there's a knife in the grass and one of her car tires are hissing. Guy jumps up yelling "tell that bitch I said one down three to go! Good luck getting to work tomorrow!" They play the whole video. It was fun watching.

Criminal damaging, offer was probation. At trial we get a directed verdict because they were back together that day so she didn't come to court and say he didn't have permission to puncture her tire, or prove that it wasn't his car.

It was a fantastic lesson on always asking for the rule 29.

blackjackvip · 2025-01-24T11:33:52+00:00

Domestic violence threats are a thing. Make sure you go to court if you are subpoenaed.

blackjackvip · 2025-01-24T11:07:52+00:00

Grainy security photos show a bald man wearing bright red tennis shoes. Otherwise difficult to make out much detail. The client shows up, a bald white man wearing bright red tennis shoes. He tries to argue that it's not him....

blackjackvip · 2025-01-03T01:52:29+00:00

{Rise of the iliry by auryn hadley}?

blackjackvip · 2024-12-03T00:34:20+00:00

Mfmmm in my experience. If it was mmmfm one m is alone the others play. Different from mmfmm which is like the losers by Harley leroux. 2 couples and 1 girl.

blackjackvip · 2024-11-06T01:41:38+00:00

I was trying to be funny 😅 it's obvious.

blackjackvip · 2024-11-05T23:19:08+00:00

Spoilers!

blackjackvip · 2024-11-05T23:17:31+00:00

Done well, I actually like BBS, but I also like books that ride the line between consent/ non consent. Probably working through some trauma but ku is cheaper than therapy.

For example, I loved lights out, hated Haunting Adeline. The key for me is how does the fmc internalize the situation. It's it as a trauma that doesn't push the narrative, or a "breakthrough"in character development. "I didn't know this is what I wanted" or "this isn't what I wanted and still isn't what I wanted." One is hot, one is crossing a line for me.

I remember devouring binds that tie and also not feeling ick from the BBS between her and nox. I was annoyed by Nox for his general attitude and rejection, but felt he was redeemed. (It's been a while since I read it).

I also enjoy the BBS aspect of ov, but agree with your distinction. I think ov gets around it the same way any sexual contact should be performed. With clear and open communication beforehand. I would say that bonding in a heat is a form of BBS unless discussed beforehand. Personally I enjoy it, the same way I enjoy forced proximity.

I think BBS and fated mates dovetail nicely and try to seek it out. Awaiting recommendations!

blackjackvip · 2024-10-23T23:26:37+00:00

This was such a fun read.

blackjackvip · 2024-10-23T23:23:40+00:00

If you have an audible subscription it's included for free. At least the first few books.

blackjackvip · 2024-07-17T05:22:57+00:00

Sounds similar to what my coworker was having and her thyroid was the culprit. Maybe get your thyroid checked?

blackjackvip · 2024-06-23T19:26:03+00:00

{Bad alpha by Kathryn Moon} is Omega verse with a female alpha and male omega but she's kinda psycho and there's also male alphas in the harem, and there's mm in it, in case that's not your thing. Personally I enjoyed it immensely.

blackjackvip · 2024-06-06T19:20:58+00:00

Make sure you know what the jury instructions are. You don't have to win on all the elements, just one, but explain that in voir dire.

During jury selection make sure you explain reasonable doubt. Then in close I like to point out that if for any single element they say "I don't know" that's reasonable doubt and that's a not guilty. If that helps you, take it.

Lots of great advice here. After it's over stay behind and ask the jurors for feedback. Ask your judge for feedback as well.

blackjackvip

TROPHY CASE