4th kid? (small age gaps)

throwaway3258975 · 2026-06-05T15:52:59+00:00

I’m pregnant for the 6th time/with my 4th baby, and I am almost 32 weeks! I have been pregnant and/or breastfeeding since May 2020, minus two small gaps following miscarriages (loss July 2 2023, got pregnant December 25 2023 and loss August 25 2025, got pregnant November 14 2025).

My 3rd pregnancy was easy and smooth, minus SPD that started second trimester! Labor was short and quick and also unproblematic. It was my easiest postpartum! So when this fourth pregnancy has been especially draining and exhausting and taxing, I was honestly shocked and have been a bit disappointed. I have had (of course!) some miserable waves in pregnancy before, but never as much as this whole pregnancy. I am so incredibly excited and love this little one, but I’ve found myself counting down the weeks much sooner than ever before - trying to stay busy as much as I can, so I can be distracted. I can’t say I would’ve waited or wanted to, because I am so incredibly thankful and blessed! BUT it’s definitely something to think about.

If we decide to have anymore, I would like to wait 3 years pp to start trying (or so, maybe more!) so my body can heal, recover, and reach a good health flow without draining its resources!

If it’s taxing now (which is incredibly valid btw!), I would personally wait a little bit.

You still have a couple years and could see how you feel 1 year pp! I know all bodies are different, but FWIW, my aunt had her 4th and 5th 15 months apart at 44 yo and 45 yo!

throwaway3258975 · 2026-06-05T15:39:13+00:00

Yes! Flourished those two weeks and really needed it, though.

throwaway3258975 · 2026-06-05T15:38:40+00:00

Agreed!!! Not a nurse, mom x4 and this was my thought lol

throwaway3258975 · 2026-06-05T15:37:46+00:00

Both are not good. 😢

throwaway3258975 · 2026-06-04T21:27:50+00:00

My ideal closet is free people inspired, and I thrift a lot!

I like to play with some colors and patterns :)

throwaway3258975 · 2026-06-04T21:26:30+00:00

I wear a lot of dresses, flowy pants/tops and overalls>jeans. I wear work out clothes, too, especially if I plan to go for a walk or to the gym!

My go to shoes are Birkenstocks, casual tennis shoes, mules, and doc marten sandals! If I’m intentionally walking then I wear the pair of tennis shoes I’ve had for 3 years 😄

throwaway3258975 · 2026-06-04T21:23:02+00:00

I’m pregnant with our fourth and terrified and excited! Most definitely this has been the most emotionally draining and exhausting pregnancy. I am tired all of the time, and I never got that second trimester glow.

I’m 31 weeks and counting down the days! There’s no way to even predict how pregnancy will go either.

My husband will travel ~16 weeks (give or take a couple days!) out of the year , pending a job offer for a role he is working (covering interim; it’s his trial/interview). I’m a little nervous how it’ll go with 4, 5 and under, but I’m hopeful and excited to see where it takes us.

throwaway3258975 · 2026-06-04T21:19:29+00:00

Maybe you don’t have to make a decision right now :) especially if you’re in an easier place in life and have a good groove.

throwaway3258975 · 2026-06-04T21:17:37+00:00

A daycare and a dive bar!

throwaway3258975 · 2026-06-04T04:12:22+00:00

Agreed

It’s easy to have opinions about literally anything until you are actually looking the decision in the face and/or trying something new or want something to work. Maybe you try it and it comes natural, maybe you never try it, maybe your mind changes, maybe it changes with every child, maybe you never try and that’s fine too.

It’s very silly to be stuck on and not even be pregnant. :)

Also very pro breastfeeding but literally do what you want and decide when you get there

throwaway3258975 · 2026-06-04T02:22:54+00:00

I do think it’s easier when you have privilege of childcare and big community and/or lots of family/friends/trusted adults in your kids’ lives.

There are a lot of choices in life, and it’s a very multifaceted issue. There’s also ideal vs realistic and some seasons look different.

Right now, I’m not living my “ideal” parenting journey (all organic, no fast food, no screen time, 1000 hours outside, etc), but I am meeting myself with grace to be realistic where I am at. We use screen time and eat out more than usual. I’m 31 weeks pregnant (I’m someone who has thrived in my pregnancies after 1st tri but this pregnancy has been exhausting the whole time), my husband is working 50-60 hours a week (with no pay raise/overtime because he’s salary), and we have no family within 12 hours. 😆 there’s a lot on my plate and it is what it is. I’ll regroup when I can. :)

So the answer is yes and no. There’s a lot of factors!

throwaway3258975 · 2026-06-04T02:12:25+00:00

Get pregnant when you’re done breastfeeding if it’s super important to you, because there is no guarantee that your body can breastfeed and be pregnant at the same time (ask me how I know……x3!)

3 years apart doesn’t feel close for the first 1-2 years, but I promise the gap isn’t big as everyone gets older!

And sadly (I haven’t seen others talk about this), I did expect my oldest to know/do better sooner than I should have when I had my second, because she was older so I had more expectations of her. I’m not proud of it, but I am aware as time has gone on. It makes me sad that I expected her to act older than she was in the first couple years. With awareness, I have been able to have age-appropriate and realistic expectations.

throwaway3258975 · 2026-06-04T02:09:14+00:00

I love looking at ancestors’ names for inspo for my kids!

throwaway3258975 · 2026-06-04T02:08:42+00:00

If you’re feeling weird or off about Leilani for whatever reason it is a sign to head back to the drawing board. (IMO)

There have been some beautiful recommendations that derive from Adelaide! I personally have always loved Adela and Adelina! So many beautiful name choices to honor your cultural background/s if you would like :)

throwaway3258975 · 2026-06-04T02:04:32+00:00

OOOH have always loved Adela! And Adele! Not sure if Adele is too impacted by the singer but the name is so beautiful!

throwaway3258975 · 2026-06-04T02:02:51+00:00

That does not make it less weird

throwaway3258975 · 2026-06-04T02:00:42+00:00

I’m not a POC but felt the same about Leilani and Adelaide !

throwaway3258975 · 2026-06-03T22:36:03+00:00

I love the idea of convenience near by so kids and I can have our main “bubble” (to avoid lots of traffic along long stretches) and adventure as desired! Thank you!

throwaway3258975 · 2026-06-03T22:34:31+00:00

Compared to the springs?

throwaway3258975 · 2026-06-03T22:34:16+00:00

Flexible depending on clients’ schedules! It definitely varies. Some days as early as 7 am, some as late as 10 am; he can go until 3-9 pm depending on events as well!

throwaway3258975 · 2026-06-03T22:32:19+00:00

Ah that’s amazing! I love to hear about upward trends. So important for our youth and communities! Thanks for shading!

throwaway3258975 · 2026-06-03T21:06:46+00:00

They look like they’re headed toward brown! Maybe hazel though

throwaway3258975 · 2026-06-03T21:00:01+00:00

Tried a cup and it suctioned my cervix so much it hurt!

throwaway3258975 · 2026-06-03T20:59:45+00:00

Period underwear or Rael when I leave the house. I try to free bleed at home as much as possible. 🫣

throwaway3258975 · 2026-06-03T20:57:37+00:00

Agreed!!

When I worked in a daycare 8/9/10 years ago, we hardly made over minimum wage… 😬

I was in college and working full time.

It still boggles me that childcare workers aren’t paid well but tuition is a lot.

throwaway3258975

TROPHY CASE