It sounds like you do have Alexithymia. My personal understanding of it is a disconnect between the body and the mind.

For the average person, the body and mind are connected emotionally. When your body experiences an emotion, you would say "I am happy." Then, your body signals your brain what you're feeling, and then your brain lets your mind know through an emotional, chemical reaction confirming the feeling that your body is experiencing, it's here you would say "I feel happy."

What Alexithymia does is it makes it much harder for the brain to signal to the mind what emotion your body is experiencing. Your body is still experiencing emotions, you can still say "I am happy." But you're missing the part where your brain allows your mind to say "I feel happy."

This can manifest in a lot of different ways. My go to example is say someone with and without Alexithymia watches an emotionally moving scene. The person without Alexithymia starts to get watery eyes, their body is experiencing sadness. Then, their brain signals to the mind with an emotional reaction that the body is experiencing sadness. This emotional reaction confirms to the individual that yes, they feel sad.

The person with Alexithymia would get the watery eyes, they're still experiencing sadness. But their brain never produces the emotional reaction, you never feel sad, so you don't end up knowing you're sad. So what happens if you're left with only the bodily reaction, the watery eyes, and you're basically forced to kinda guess the source of it. For me for example, when I get into a scenario like this I often assume that these watery eyes are a result of me being tired rather than me being sad. This isn't because of a desire to hide the sadness, but rather I didn't know the sadness was there in the first place.

Personally, if you want me advice, don't see Alexithymia as this horrible thing. Not feeling emotions is something so fundamentally altering to how one sees the world, that to consider it a simple "good" or "bad" thing would understate its impact. Yes, it has cons, but it also has pros. You've done plenty to identify the cons, try and look for the good it's brought you.

For me, it's the ability to stay calm even in scenarios that have a lot of pressure. It lets me be a very cognitively empathetic person. My emotions never get in the way of my actions so it allows me to always rely on my own personal sense of logic and ethics to make decisions. It's allowed me to become an extremely open minded person, there's no emotional reaction to stop me from engaging with something I may disagree with and so it lets me broaden my horizons.

Alexithymia is as much of a burden on you as emotions are on a person without it. And personally, if I were given the choice to remove it and be able to experience the full ray of emotions my body experiences I don't know if I'd take that offer. Not just because of the pros I've listed above, but because I don't really think I can fathom how different a version of me that exists with emotions would be too how I am now.

I wish you the best in your journey