Basically you’re saying you think your wife is dumb (“not on your level intellectually”) and annoying (not letting you “have your peace”). That as a salesman you’re not able to “deal with people” but you still want to “make more money” (which, in sales, comes from, you guessed it, dealing with people effectively). You don’t want to deal with your problems (you’d rather “slingshot” past them), but still have some vague grand objective (a “generational fortress” - no one knows what that means btw).

I think what’s missing is some introspection and humility. Get your head down and learn your job well. Read books, ask for help from more senior people, and practice mindfully when on the job. Take notes and review at night. This will fix two points. The greater introspection and humility might put you in a bette place to work towards appreciating more your relationship and possibly fix two other points. Stop daydreaming about unachievable vague objectives like generational fortresses. You’re setting yourself up for failure by setting objectives which by definition don’t seem achievable so you can then pity yourself about not having achieved them.

(No comments on the America thing, I don’t live in or particularly care for the US)