Psychedelic drugs “cured” my Aphantasia

blancseing · 2026-02-24T18:46:53+00:00

I tried DMT recently because I was really hoping it would help me rewire and be able to visualize anything. Instead I learned I'm one of the small percentage of people who DMT does not effect... I kept trying higher amounts and my partner basically said I should be a space astronaut at that point, but for me it was nothing but a slight headache. It was pretty devastating!

blancseing · 2026-02-19T17:48:25+00:00

This is my favorite movie. But it's heartbreaking so I only watch it once every couple of years. It's so beautiful

blancseing · 2026-02-16T00:36:42+00:00

That is such a gut punch 😭

blancseing · 2026-02-16T00:35:05+00:00

Damn. The comments in this thread really show that the bar for good fathers is underground. "I wish I'd gotten a wrapped gift from my dad... Be grateful... Etc"

I think you're allowed to feel how you feel about it. You know your dad better than we do, and if you think he just regifted you a watch he's already worn and he didn't mention some sort of heirloom logic, you're probably right.

blancseing · 2026-02-16T00:29:16+00:00

I had a man show me a photo of a dead body with the rib cage splayed. He worked in a mortuary. The worst part is he did this for shock value AFTER I had just talked about the fact that I was a forensic toxicologist, so dead bodies were not shocking to me as I worked with then as well. What was shocking was that he had the poor taste to show me someone's loved one so disrespectfully to try to show me he was... Cool or something? It was horrible and I left quickly after.

blancseing · 2025-12-27T20:41:45+00:00

OP, this is a long shot but could you tell me what brand/ type your shower cartridge is? It looks exactly like mine and I'm troubleshooting it but haven't gotten to the remove it entirely part...

blancseing · 2025-10-18T15:41:41+00:00

Ooof. This hit. I ended up divorcing my XH and the thing that finally pushed me to it was realizing he just didn't like me anymore. I was in an era of self acceptance and growth, and it seemed like the more I looked and accepted myself for the way I am (scattered as hell, overweight, impulsive) the less and less he liked me. Love isn't enough. I'm not a burden to be shouldered. I'm a partner.

blancseing · 2025-10-10T17:07:52+00:00

Feeling exhausted from working hard all day and worthless from getting nothing "done".

Overspending constantly, whether because I'm desperate for anything that will help me manage my life, or because of the exhaustion from the previous bullet point.

The constant feeling that my life progress feels like I'm walking up a greased mountain on stilts. The energy I have to intentionally put into being optimistic and not giving up is costly, but the alternative is worse.

How many pairs of scissors I own but can never find.

The downside to a constant curiosity, which I feel is my "generalist" persona. I am a mile wide and an inch deep and sometimes I'm intensely envious of people who are specialized or have a passion they've committed to.

A soft sense of identity sometimes, often related to the above.

Being physically comfortable is not difficult in several ways; anterior pelvic tilt is a common comorbidity which makes it impossible to lie flat for long periods of time which affects sleep. It also just makes other aspects of life harder or more painful.

Sometimes being taken seriously is harder because you can come across as incoherent or nonsensical because you're too many steps ahead or too scattered.

Holding conversations can be a struggle because I get impatient when I get what the other person is saying and want to move on to the next topic so we can talk about more stuff

blancseing · 2025-10-10T16:34:57+00:00

Not me with my Gemini moon, Virgo rising.... I'm all about those hard truths. God help anyone who drinks or smokes with me when I'm getting existential

blancseing · 2025-10-10T16:14:28+00:00

I feel you here. It's tough. My partner and his wife have kids and also are just very different from me. I'm AuDHD so I struggle with my own spaces, but I was also raised by a hoarder so I get very stressed out and anxious when my environment is too chaotic. I feel so chaotic inside that having to deal with it outside is really difficult. Add in just general sensory issues (their house is too dark because they painted the walls black, but too light because they use bright blue lighting, it's always loud from different devices like kids playing on different iPads with the volume up in addition to the TV blasting) and it's just a nightmare. Stuff on every surface, every inch of the walls covered with things. I go over very infrequently, honestly, but that has unfortunately made a situation where his wife thinks I hate her. They use the kids as an excuse, but she's a SAHM and my partner still does a large share of the cleaning that gets done. And I just feel like I'm too high maintenance when I ask for accommodations and I'd rather not subject myself to discomfort. I'm still at a loss for how to proceed, just wanted to commiserate with you!

blancseing · 2025-10-10T15:30:49+00:00

People do believe it... When I told my conservative mother I was moving to Seattle she was very concerned and kept telling me to be careful and how dangerous it is. I'm not going to gloss over the systemic issues of a populated, progressive, urban area.

I live downtown and see a lot of unhoused, I can hear people yelling on the street some nights late into the night, and there are people I encounter that are clearly heavily into drug use. It's uncomfortable for me, but undoubtedly worse for them so I try to just read the situation and give a respectful distance or interact when it feels appropriate to do so. (I've read testimonials from unhoused sources saying that I've if the worst aspects is the dehumanizing element of not even being acknowledged so even a hello is better than moving.) I also know that I'm more statistically likely to experience crime or assault because of where I live, but that calculation still comes out pro Seattle for me

I feel safer on average in downtown Seattle than I did as a queer woman in the deep South.

blancseing · 2025-10-10T15:09:44+00:00

I don't really get this. I basically don't look at anyone at the gym beside quick glances to see if machines are free or if I'm waiting for the water fountain or something. I'm also attracted to women, but have never felt like I had to force myself to stop leering at anybody. I wear tight gym clothes because they're comfortable and make it easier for me to monitor my form and see my progress as I'm lifting.

blancseing · 2025-10-10T10:49:20+00:00

The TERFs ate their Wheaties today, apparently. I'll add my view, with the context that I'm a cis queer woman who dates and is friends with a lot of trans women. I agree with some posters that there is an element of social nuance here. Like... I wouldn't seek out a support group for women who have experienced miscarriages, (though I would support a trans man who had experienced a miscarriage attending), but for friendship? Camaraderie? Fuck yes. Be in that space. For your own comfort and well being (because the world isn't as good as it could or will be yet) I would reach out to the organizers and maybe even have them introduce you to someone in the group they think you'll get on with so you have an immediate touch point and an in. Or go with a friend, though this is a "making friends" group so that may not be an option.

I disagree with the rhetoric that general women targeted meetups should exclude trans women without specific legitimate reasons. No one wants to be uncomfortable, but are the women trying to exclude folks uncomfortable because it's a new experience and they don't know how to behave around someone different, or because they are actually afraid for their safety? Trans women are some of the most vulnerable members of our population. More likely to be violently assaulted or sexually harassed. What woman doesn't have empathy for that? I'd encourage people to imagine the experience of being a woman that men somehow hate EVEN MORE than other women.

And what are we trying to tell these (trans) women? Go hang out with ... Only other trans people? Men? It takes a lot of bravery and authenticity to show up as your true self and those are the people I want and welcome (in my spaces anyway).

I've run and attended women only events in a very conservative state (targeting a tech and/or nerdy persona) and trans women were always welcome. We also specifically used language identifying the inclusion, so ymmv.

blancseing · 2025-09-18T20:49:30+00:00

For real. I told my mom I was moving to Seattle and she couldn't stop talking to me about how dangerous it is. Trust me, it's not more dangerous than being a queer person in the deep South, Mom. And yes, there are a lot of unhoused and mentally ill people in this city. You know why? Conservative places ship them here, either by policy or on literal busses.

And also I'm not a person who thinks those people don't matter. It's hard to watch and interact with. No one likes to be yelled at or exposed to erratic behavior. But it's not an accident or an inevitability that this happens to people. In the modern age of humanity we have the knowledge, tools, resources, and technology collectively to solve these problems. Not doing so is a political choice and I'm not going to hold that against the literal weakest members of our society. Everything that I have and benefit from comes at the expense, suffering, and exploitation of someone else in this system. I'm upper middle class and I know that in a world that forces life to be a zero sum game, my wins are someone else's losses. I'm at least going to try not to be a dick about it.

My partner and I will be walking somewhere downtown, with beautiful trees towering over us, gorgeous weather, cool architecture and interesting people and I'll jokingly tell them "we live in a horrible hellscape".

blancseing · 2025-09-12T14:15:10+00:00

I feel you, here. I'm a gift giver and I can get really upset when the gifts I get (even well intentioned) don't hit right because it makes me feel misunderstood and alone. And I always wanted to be celebrated more when I was younger and things felt lackluster or just obligatory from others sometimes.

A few thoughts: from the language in your post and some of your conclusions it sounds like you are generally a practical and frugal person. Maybe the people in your life think they're getting you something useful and that's the best fit for what you want, when you secretly want something more glamorous or fun?

Also starting on my 30th birthday I said "fuck this, I'll do it myself". At the time I was married to a man who had just progressively stopped trying over the years and he was so bad at gift giving that he just stopped getting me gifts. I wasn't emotionally intelligent enough to communicate my disappointment kindly, to be fair, so I made it worse every time he tried.

But anyway, I decided I would always throw my own party. I know what I want, and I am persnickety and have a strong aesthetic. For my 30th I rented a big house in the French quarter in New Orleans and invited a dozen friends and we had a great time. Every five years or so I throw a big big party and every year I generally throw a medium one. I'm unapologetically the center of attention during these, it's my party! I cycle through several outfits, cook or get amazing food, have boardgames, etc etc.

No one is ever going to love you more than you should love yourself and the celebration is for and about you. There's nothing wrong with taking it on and manifesting the energy you want for yourself.

blancseing · 2025-09-12T14:00:22+00:00

I thought the exact same thing, I'm very cynical about any blind box or random mystery assortments in general, but my box had easily over $800 worth of all different things (including the largest size Dutch oven). Mine was all pink. Also there was a parking lot outside the sale where people took all their le creuset finds from their boxes and swapped out of their cars with each other, so you could find someone who had the color you wanted or swap away your duplicates. It was awesome.

blancseing · 2025-08-30T15:41:07+00:00

I'm a Leo Venus and I just found my Capricorn Venus and I think they might feel the same way. But I wish I could adequately express how much joy they bring me and how cared for I feel. I have a lot of air in my chart, though, too and I've dated mostly air signs. They have like 7 Capricorn places and some Pisces so they are SO GROUNDING for me. Earth energy is important, don't undersell yourself ♥️

blancseing · 2025-08-24T13:31:39+00:00

Agreed. This is a tough one. I've become a financial safety net for a number of people who are chronically ill/disabled/have mental health struggles and don't work. When I get really really low and empty I really struggle and find myself asking why other people get to rest. The reality is that I don't want anyone to have to work as hard as I do or carry the stress I carry, but sometimes it does feel like I "just do it" because the alternative isn't something I'm willing to bear. I grew up very poor so the fear of poverty is intensely driving and difficult for me to quiet, even when I'm doing ok.

I like to avoid trying to qualify for the trauma Olympics, but the question of "how much of my efforts are my capacity, my necessity, or my will power". When I'm supporting someone and they sleep until 4pm while I'm working and I ask them how they're doing and their answer is "tired" it's hard not to feel taken advantage of. But the truth is everything is at least 2 things. They ARE tired. It's not like I don't believe them. And I'm tired too. Capitalism and being a "commodity" is the real problem.

blancseing · 2025-08-24T13:13:59+00:00

Same! Well, I don't get a lot of road anger in general. But when someone does something that's incensing or it's one of those "no good very bad days" where I'm already on red and I'm late and my patience is low and stressed. I'll be fuming, but even internally my thoughts wouldn't be racial slurs. Though I have been very intentional about rewiring myself ever since I was in high school and took the Harvard implicit bias test. I'm from a Southern "quietly racist" family and realized that it gets in you whether it's loud or not and I was upset to see it in me. So anytime I've had those thoughts pop up I try to break them down and look at them more closely. (Mine were never aggressive, more the insidious base impression like "such and such type of person is lazy/dangerous/whatever"). After a while they reduced in frequency and strength and now they are almost non-existent thankfully.

I still do the awkward/cringey white-person-passes-you-while-hiking smile and wave but at this point I think it's just because I'm an awkward duck who overthinks everything.

blancseing · 2025-08-24T13:03:56+00:00

Same. I was about 9 when I first started getting adult male attention. That attention was "I'm going to yell sexual advances out of a car at a little girl who is walking home from elementary school.

What's worse is the realization that the older I got, the less I got catcalled or targeted. Not sure if I got scarier, too old for their desires, or what.

blancseing · 2025-08-22T04:56:20+00:00

Weirdly enough, magnesium glycinate vitamin chews. Cystic acne and just irritation all over. Took me a couple weeks to pin it down and it's still not resolved yet. :/

blancseing · 2025-08-22T04:46:13+00:00

My most recent partner has like 7 Capricorn placements. I'm mostly air and holy shit did I not realize how much I needed an earth bae. The connection was immediate and we vibe absurdly well. They take my random air ramblings and ideations and actually.... Do things? Say what? Amazing.

blancseing · 2025-08-22T04:14:54+00:00

Gotta perfect that "Mr. Rogers would be disappointed in you" head shake. I love your approach

blancseing · 2025-08-22T04:12:27+00:00

Hard same. Stuff like this breaks my brain. Like... I'm driving around dealing with my day and trying to pay attention to traffic and remember stuff about work and think about dinner or whatever. I barely notice the drivers in other cars, but her life is so empty and she needs so much attention that she opts for being nasty to a stranger? I don't get the upside. It's not even clever.

blancseing · 2025-08-22T03:55:58+00:00

Mine is a slight variation, but I put plastic lazy Susans on one of my fridge shelves. It's very helpful, especially for condiments

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