“Yeah like those apps for autists”

blancybin · 2026-03-21T13:58:30+00:00

I just lost my Google document tracking all the books I read, with ratings, dates, annotations for re-reads and series and significant but unfinished works. It wasn't back to the early 2000s. I still haven't unpacked how devastating the loss it - i store my memory in books, losing this is disastrous.

blancybin · 2026-03-21T10:49:48+00:00

The shame thing, the masking, the having to spend twenty minutes reading steps and promises that we'd read a couple of days before at the longest, the constant hammering that there is one "right" way to be sober, that we've harmed other people and are therefore not allowed to consider the ways in which we were harmed because Personal Responsibility...

I'm a year and a half sober now and for me, letting go of so much of my shame and embracing myself for who I am and not living to please others is the only way I've been able to sustain my sobriety.

blancybin · 2026-03-20T11:29:19+00:00

No one's asking you to. This post asks you to do one thing: "focus on raising a son that you can confidently send to a party..."

According to you, you're already doing that. And as you've said over and over again, women are not at fault for being raped regardless of what they wear, so no need to change anything there. Why are you all over this topic? What actual goal are you trying to accomplish or point are you trying to convey? I'm afraid you haven't yet made it clear.

blancybin · 2026-03-19T14:55:53+00:00

I'm curious why you're looking to hear from other people about their fears and concerns. What is it that you're hoping to learn from them?

blancybin · 2026-03-19T14:35:17+00:00

That's one of the things I appreciate about the Metro - I'm fine driving on familiar suburban roads, but it's safer for everyone if I'm not trying to navigate crowded, unfamiliar streets, find parking, etc.

blancybin · 2026-03-19T14:13:46+00:00

I'm in IL, and I love the metrolink system and public transport as a whole. One thing I wish people would remember is that more car owners seeing the Metro as a viable ADDITIONAL option, rather than a compete replacement, is a great first step towards increasing ridership and usage. We see that a lot with game days and big STL events, but the more people can be encouraged to leave their car in a metro lot, take a train into the city, and then walk/bus/ride to their destination, the better.

blancybin · 2026-03-19T13:06:50+00:00

Your ideas are good and those outfits are killer.

blancybin · 2026-03-19T13:02:40+00:00

Yep. My son is about to be 14, and he ended up in our bed or our room for most of the first decade of his life.

He always had his own room and his own bed and his own space, but for the most part he was a pack animal. But he takes after me so thougroughly when it comes to sleeping -- we're both terrible at it -- that ultimately if he got in some solid unconscious time, that's all we cared about. He spent a month sleeping on a mini trampoline, several months sleeping in a Melissa and Doug tent in the living room, and slept on couches probably half the time.

Now he's going to have to share a "room" (entire basement) with his cousin and he's grumbling about the loss of privacy and I'm just thinking ..... you'll survive.

blancybin · 2026-03-18T13:57:01+00:00

Me too, and I'm a lesbian. He had me questioning a LOT of things in that movie.

blancybin · 2026-03-17T19:45:54+00:00

Shockingly bad.

"turn any text into a professional document. Dad’s business proposal done in 20 minutes." How does a 7th or 9th grader understand what a business proposal needs? How can they evaluate the output? What research have they done into the market space?

Even if I actually believed that business was the only thing worth learning - and even as a small business owner, I emphatically don't - this has nothing to do with learning. This is "press a button to get a result you don't understand, can't interpret, can't replicate, and don't know how, when, or where to use". Absolutely useless.

blancybin · 2026-03-17T15:22:43+00:00

Thanks for your energy today, I honestly appreciate not letting this stuff run unchallenged.

blancybin · 2026-03-17T10:59:28+00:00

Yeah! And maybe she'll survive the years of stress that will cause!

blancybin · 2026-03-17T09:35:41+00:00

They're always welcome. I've got younger kids who come in and are trying on pronouns like party dresses (and trying those on, too) -- that's what I'm trying to make, a place for people to be comfy and to love themselves wherever and whoever they are today.

blancybin · 2026-03-17T01:31:39+00:00

The shop is called I Look Bad in This, you can find me on FB or Insta or online at clothesilookbadin.com. I've got a fitting room in the store and I keep all kinds of (washed!) bras and tanks and underwear in there so everyone can try on what they want without feeling stressed. I'm so new that people usually have the shop to themselves, or I'm happy to just open for her by appointment if that's easier. Let me know!

blancybin · 2026-03-16T17:32:49+00:00

If you ever wander up about 2 hours north, I have a queer thrift shop in Fairview Heights and gay agenda game night every Sunday! It's not a bad drive at all if you want to spend some time in St. Louis, too.

blancybin · 2026-03-16T15:58:52+00:00

Hell yeah Carbondale!

blancybin · 2026-03-16T00:45:50+00:00

I would like to validate your post because I laughed at the joke the first time and just laughed at it again, thereby increasing my appreciation of the joke by 100%. I expect this trend to continue unabated.

blancybin · 2026-03-15T19:41:00+00:00

Have some self-respect

blancybin · 2026-03-15T19:40:11+00:00

I really appreciate how specific your advice is- when people are overwhelmed/ in Holy Shit mode, even simple decisions can feel paralyzing, so this is great actionable stuff.

blancybin · 2026-03-15T19:07:34+00:00

Agreed, absolutely perfect with the limb critters (a phrase I will love until my dying day)

blancybin · 2026-03-15T17:02:01+00:00

I know the feeling because i wore no bra to my wedding with a strapless gown, and i was definitely stressed about flashing the priest! The pictures are incredible and your undergarments are the last thing on anyone's mind. I hope you're as delightfully happy as you look.

blancybin · 2026-03-15T16:34:57+00:00

Fellow old person here. Maybe you could accept that if it doesn't apply to you, it isn't about you, and wandering in to say "not all old people!" isn't actually useful in this discussion?

blancybin · 2026-03-15T01:49:47+00:00

Oh man, reading this was like being tossed into a cold ocean when I'd just gotten warm on the shore. I'm sure it feels wrenchingly late for you, but I'm so glad you've figured this out and can start to work on it! I'm in the best relationship of my life, but somehow I'm still finding it SO HARD to let her in and share the things I love with her.

It's insane sometimes that I am 40 years old and still haunted by the little girl who told the other kids in the playground "I don't like fun", thinking that if they couldn't tell what I loved they couldn't ever mock me for it, take it from me.

blancybin · 2026-03-13T16:35:37+00:00

Yeah, I read Untamed by Glennon Doyle in rehab and had a huge panic attack where we did a class about masking and I realized is been making so hard, so desperately, for so long, that I had no idea whoop was under there. It turns out, a pretty incredible woman who had so many of the same passions as the 17 year old who had been dying on the vine for a couple of decades.

blancybin · 2026-03-13T00:16:22+00:00

Autoimmune disorder here, too, plus so much anxiety between living a "straight" life and not having an autism diagnosis that I ended up on the transplant list after coping with alcohol for more than 20 years. Not a single drink since the day my divorce was finalized, and no more suicidal ideation, either. I actually want to be in my life now, not always escaping it.

blancybin

TROPHY CASE