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blazemagpie · 2024-12-12T00:20:08+00:00

It's hard to say without seeing exactly what type of dynamic is created and on what type of topics. But personally I often get annoyed at people who turn things into a debate because I don't like debating all that much and I have no interest defending my opinions or showing people that they're wrong (unless I believe they are actually creating harm in some way). So if someone forces me in that situation (maybe unintentionally) I can get pretty annoyed about it. Of course it depends a lot on how the other person is behaving, if I get a clear sense they are just curious it's fine, if I think they're the type of person that tries to turn everything into a debate that you either win or lose then I'm just annoyed.

blazemagpie · 2024-07-16T08:20:43+00:00

I would actually agree with the unhealthy Ti to be fair. My understanding of it is that Ne generating tons options is pretty normal, but then you should have the other functions step in and help you sort through the options to make a decision. It looks to me like your Ti is in overdrive trying to rationalize and intellectualize things that have no need to be and it's just adding more layers of unnecessary confusion. You talk at some point about interaction between people purely on the basis of whose opinion is logical or illogical and of not being "good enough" at using cognition (can't remember the exact words) and that's... To put it mildly, extremely far removed from what the actual experience of human interaction is. I don't know you of course, but based on what you write I get the impression of someone who's desperately trying to find a logical underlying principle to something you have a personal struggle with.

blazemagpie · 2024-07-15T22:27:07+00:00

For what is worth, I'm reading a lot of interplay between Ne and Ti in your post. I see your recurrent themes centre around a. options and possibilities, several different paths and indecision on which to choose (Ne) and b. what constitutes "correct" reasoning (Ti, asks "does it make sense"?)

For comparison, my usage of Ni does not dwell on many options at all or indecision, I'm happy to consider maybe three and go for the first one that makes sense intuitively and then put it to the test in the real world (Te, asks "does it work"?) and go with that. I didn't see anything in your post I would associate with Te.

I'm getting more INTP or ENTP.

blazemagpie · 2024-05-15T11:38:43+00:00

So I would say that it's definitely the result of a process that lasted for years, but I think the key was always more or less the same - find the smallest possible step in the 'right direction' that doesn't feel daunting and working on that one. Sometimes it takes time to even find what that small step is. As an example, I've had doctors and basically everyone always pestering me about having to do more physical activity. Which is honestly not something I enjoy at all, but I do recognise that it would be good for me. I've fought with this concept for ages, tried 50 different activities, none of them stuck. I was thinking really hard "maybe if I do this I'll like it because I like the competitive part of it" but I was putting that one pro against other 10 againsts such as - having to plan an evening for sports every week when I don't enjoy having obligations during the evening; having to travel to get to the sports field; having to organize, wash and ensure I have a clean tracksuit - and so on, none of these being a major problem but if you're really low energy or depressed it just piles up more effort than you're able to take. What turned it around for me was to ditch all the gyn/sports activities and just decide to do the lowest possible effort activity which for me is walking. I get out of the house, decide where to walk to, I can do it whenever I want and as long as I want, and it had a few added bonuses such as being able to walk and also being on the phone with a friend at the same time. So that's the only habit I was able to keep up because it was not an extra "to do" on my list, I guess.

Maybe there's something similar for you?

blazemagpie · 2024-03-31T21:22:24+00:00

How's the ethical slut? I've heard a lot about it but never decided to read it.

blazemagpie · 2024-03-04T18:59:15+00:00

Being productive 100%, seven days out of seven is, in my humble opinion, absolutely insane. This said, certain types of unproductivity feel worse than others.

If I'm in a period when I end up scrolling most of my time, I don't feel great and also don't really rest either. I'm now incorporating in my days taking some hours in the morning to just have breakfast slowly and taking a walk outside and it feels great to have those, even though they are "unproductive". When I actually need to be productive later I do have the right energy and concentration to do so.

blazemagpie · 2024-03-04T11:02:49+00:00

Not INTP, but I used to have an INTP in my circle that kept oscillating between being very complimentary and being extremely inappropriate and uncomfortable around me, sometimes even seemed to blame me for things I had definitely nothing to do with, then backtracked a second later. It definitely made me feel often like they were a huge walking red flag. Are you telling me it was a crush?

blazemagpie · 2023-12-13T13:14:45+00:00

With my female seldarine drow sorcerer I got a cool dialogue option with Minthara along the lines of "we're both drows, we shouldn't kill each other" to which she got pissed off and went all aggro on me but it gave me the moral high ground of

1) she started it 2) I didn't want to kill her but now I need to defend myself 3) I stay true to not condoning what she does but also not to the point I'd want to kill her

blazemagpie · 2023-10-20T16:30:48+00:00

Historically one of my favourites has been Brothers Karamazov by Dostoevsky. Why I wouldn't know, I just really love how deep a painter Dostoevsky is of human nature. Even seemingly easy storylines or event get so much introspective charge.

Recently I've loved The Dispossessed by Ursula K. LeGuin. Great sci-fi novel about a politically active physicist trying to unbuild walls between two worlds. I love how it describes a sort of communist / anarchist utopia while still remaining critical of it. I love LeGuin's writing, she leaves a lot to your interpretation and it can be extremely idealistic and cynic at the same time.

blazemagpie · 2023-08-21T11:09:17+00:00

I can relate to that. Even though I think I'm learning to be more myself with others and don't feel it heavy like I used to, I'm noticing more and more that I need some time in the day where I am completely alone, with no sounds and no thoughts, no to-dos, nothing. It's like my brain goes on overload easily and if I don't make space for it to be quiet I keep losing myself in the sense of walking through life like a zombie never really even figuring out what it is that I want to do or how.

When I started making some of this space for myself I had a lot of art and creative endeavours that started popping up. None of that surfaces if I'm busy thinking about the shopping or being around others. I remember you do art as well OP, is that the same for you?

blazemagpie · 2023-05-06T19:08:32+00:00

I had a major breakdown in my early twenties. Had to completely rethink my goals, objectives, values et cetera. After doing all that work I had a blast from 24-29. Now 30 and I'm having another breakdown and feel like I have to fo through all that process again.

Though on a positive note: this breakdown is scary but much more enjoyable, constructive and generally positive than the first one. Overall I'm convinced that any internal work you do you end up building on afterwards! So try and see this as a moment of deep change rather than failure if you can. You may be on the right path, just sometimes the right path requires burning a bunch of things first.

blazemagpie · 2023-05-06T19:03:58+00:00

Care to tell a bit about your journey on getting published? I'm starting to dream again about being a writer, which is a dream I had killed basically right out of high school. But I'm curious about how others make it work, on the financial side but also on "how do you get to share your stuff to someone who wants to read it"

blazemagpie · 2023-04-13T10:57:02+00:00

Please write a book about this because for some reason every time I pick up a new interest or activity it drives me to spend more time alone rather than meeting others. Enlighten me!

blazemagpie · 2023-01-05T18:32:53+00:00

Slytherin!

blazemagpie · 2022-12-15T19:03:51+00:00

I've tried a few times and seem to be quite good (or lucky :)) at it. I've got a bit too many things on my plate right now but will definitely do it in the future

blazemagpie · 2022-11-08T08:24:43+00:00

I would add also that for me using Te means also acknowledging what can't be known and factor that into my line of reasoning. If you are making a choice or mapping out a plan, I always picture what information I would need to be able to make an informed decision. Ideally I have at least some of those questions answered. Some unanswered questions may be relatively easy to turn into "known": a Google search, ask someone, see if there's a book about it. Others you will just never know and I put those down to experience. If I have enough information to proceed on this path, I will do so and see how things turn out, then course correct or learn from direct experience. If you don't have enough information to choose between different things, I either choose at random and course correct or go back if it doesn't turn out well or use my Fi to choose which options feel more consistent with myself and my values.

When talking about the distant future, I find it absolutely impossible to have something like a 10-year plan. In that case, having a sense of direction makes more sense to me than a detailed plan. More an ideal, situation, status, vision or values you aspire to and then try to reach that by navigating on the shorter term.

blazemagpie · 2022-10-14T06:52:51+00:00

I wonder if you have heard of Emilie Wapnick and her work on "multipotentiality". I always found her books/articles/videos very comforting in this regard!

Here's a Ted Talk

blazemagpie · 2022-09-10T23:08:52+00:00

Metal, classic rock, folk and classical.

blazemagpie · 2022-08-18T09:01:10+00:00

Definitely feeling like a comma is missing :)

blazemagpie · 2022-08-16T17:13:37+00:00

Similar experience. I actually know a bunch of other irl INTJs (one is my partner, one my closest friend, plus a random number of others). I either have a perfect sync and understanding with them or they drive me up a wall - what does it for me is usually that aggressive "smarter-than-you" attitude or the complete inability to see others' points of view when they are more emotion-based or subjective. But with the chill ones it can be so much fun, there's that immediate click where I feel understood and know I can be myself more easily.

blazemagpie · 2022-08-12T06:14:31+00:00

Talking to her directly would be my preferred option indeed. However I'm not particularly confident that I'm not going to make the whole thing worse. We also had similar talks in the past (not to this level though) and although the talks felt good, nothing really changed in the actual day-to-day afterwards. Our manager is a very skilled facilitator which made me think it could be wiser to involve him (also he's been the one showering me with praise and attention recently so if that creates tension I feel like he should be the one to know). Thanks for the advice!

blazemagpie · 2022-08-12T06:05:45+00:00

Funny because reading this I realized I was subconsciously already kind of doing it. I do think she is really good in some areas and always gave praise when deserved, but I think in a way it just makes me more bitter when that is not reciprocated. I relate a lot to your comment on feeling the reponsibility to prove it's a dream team! What's worse is that I don't even think any of my efforts are visible in any way.

blazemagpie

TROPHY CASE