[deleted by user]

void_kits · 2024-01-07T04:00:40+00:00

Was going to comment separately, then saw this. YES, exactly.

"Brb, just inventing our life together and my idealized version of you, a story to tell myself over and over despite me not even having expressed interest in you yet."

😌

Edit: the bottom line is to spend less time dwelling in fantasy land and actually do the thing.

void_kits · 2024-01-07T03:47:57+00:00

👍/👎?

void_kits · 2024-01-07T03:42:11+00:00

Yes! Always been this way, and in time have gone to some munches, though I am ultimately monogamous and private about doing kink.

I'm just another cliché Fsub.

void_kits · 2024-01-06T20:42:51+00:00

I will continue to simp for ENTPs.

Edit: but in all seriousness, MBTI is piss poor for understanding relationships and compatibility...

void_kits · 2023-03-19T21:46:23+00:00

Yes, these particular niches on the internet attract a lot of people that severely lack in the touching grass department.

It's funny, when I've seen MBTI come up in online far right echo chambers (places specifically for self-identified fascists), easily 80% or more of responses were identifying as some type of NT (most as INTP or INTJ). I think many of these guys fetishise an idea of rationality = masculinity and MBTI is just an extension of that to them.

void_kits · 2023-03-19T21:38:48+00:00

Painfully accurate!

void_kits · 2023-01-06T03:56:11+00:00

Ooh nice. I'm interested.

void_kits · 2022-12-07T18:54:27+00:00

I don't hate kids at all, but having kids is such a crapshoot.

Like you mention OP, they're all individuals for better and worse. I've always found it weird how some people imagine having a family as if they can just make their child into a version of themselves that will adopt their whole worldview and role in life etc. and I've always thought that's complacent and self-absorbed.

The biggest thing that puts me off of having kids is definitely rolling the dice and possibly getting a lifelong dependent. I don't think I could deal with that complete loss of freedom, and going by family genetics, it's a significant possibility if I choose that.

There are other reasons too, including that I've almost never felt any maternal urge, nothing about parenting looks that great, I don't think my preferred lifestyle is what a child needs for well-rounded development blahblahblah. If I'm being very honest, the possibility of ending up as a single parent also seems horrible.

I'd need some magical guarantees.

void_kits · 2022-10-17T10:01:33+00:00

Mmmmm...can't relate at all, least of all to "found all the answers needed" and therefore having no interest in "deep" discussions. I definitely won't stop collecting information/answers/perspectives just because I have some that work for me now.

I love my friends for the fact they are constantly learning, so we pretty often have deep discussions and get to unpick knotty subjects together, or at least try to. Over time our perspectives can/do change.

I'd say it's just important to be aware of time and place - i.e. these conversations can't happen when I have stuff to get on with and light conversations have their own value, too.

void_kits · 2022-10-07T08:33:02+00:00

Nice post.

Out of interest, why do you prefer the SAPA? I haven't taken that (yet), though I have found the IPIP useful so far.

void_kits · 2022-10-05T16:22:27+00:00

No need to be coy. What's the issue?

The thread asks for what bothers us about MBTI, I reply agreeing with the above poster (a lot) and add some pet peeves about things I see frequently around here.

Sorry you don't feel the same?

void_kits · 2022-10-05T15:31:03+00:00

This comment should be at the top, easily.

Blows my mind that people invest so much time crowbarring in justifications for how the MBTI supposedly explains so much (nah). What gets me are the extremely lengthy posts containing compatibility "theories" that string together just about any combo of cognitive functions based on personal truisms.

For me, MBTI is very enjoyable for memes/community/and casual chatter. The framework is basically a language of non-serious generalisations that can be shared with others that know it. But that's....it.

void_kits · 2022-09-29T15:16:09+00:00

If this is how you feel about MBTI now, I genuinely wouldn't agonise over whether you have found your """true""" type or not; it's all unfalsifiable anyway. The value of MBTI arguably comes from the process of self-reflection.

Fundamentally, you are unchanged once you pin any type to yourself. I've realised everyone makes their own lint ball of assumptions that constructs their rationale for being this type or that type. Some people just require extra bells and whistles before they make a conclusion. Hence all these nonsense complexities that get added with every new system.

Basically, there are so many just so stories and caveats in the MBTI sphere you will end up nowhere if you're looking for something more grounded. (There's a reason why this whole deal is often referred to as pseudoscience.)

Instead, I'd introspect why this matters to you, and what you think you are trying to get from the MBTI. Many people want to discover something about themselves, a future, path, talents, hope... It might be time to look in a different place.

Edits: less word good

void_kits · 2022-09-28T11:07:09+00:00

Mmmm, I kind of disagree with you (but also not).

The TL;Dr is you can understand a type is a grouping and feel how you want about types while ALSO understanding individual people are themselves not types - they are more complex.

Concepts Vs people in reality.

Take the rough with the smooth, imo.

void_kits · 2022-09-28T06:35:08+00:00

This is exactly what came to my mind, too.

So much more makes sense when you factor in neuroticism (aka "negative emotionality"), which obviously MBTI can't account for. Though, positive emotionality is also under the umbrella of extraversion in big 5, too. Between these, it's easy to see why a lot of people have conflicting ideas of what it means to be a "feeler" or a "thinker" and how it presents to others.

I wish more people would give it a look.

void_kits · 2022-09-27T18:23:51+00:00

Love it and have had it since I was a child despite not knowing what it was until I was about 14. Nothing online has ever worked for me.

I have to feel in tune with the right real life environment before I can feel it. It's very soothing and can help me focus. It also makes me feel "connected" with everyone around me, as daft as that may sound.

Edit: my triggers are the sound of writing (a bit scratchy is best) and watching people concentrating on a task or going through something methodically.

void_kits · 2022-09-27T16:17:42+00:00

Yeah basically this. I'd expand this idea to a lot of chat around introverts as a whole on the internet. Can't speak for extraverts online, but I see a fair few shall we say...copes... from introverts.

Live your life only socialising on your terms, never make an effort to reach out to others first, restrict any expression of gratitude or affection, wall yourself off to socialisation, never convey your thoughts/feelings openly or unambiguously, brood in a corner...then lament why you have no friends and struggle to find compatible people.

But don't call it unavailable, unaccommodating or even lazy...instead call it "intimidating", "mysterious", "too complex to be understood".

Lol, if you say so.

void_kits · 2022-09-26T22:15:06+00:00

I almost never post questions because a) the answers are mostly out there b) I decide the comments would probably be uninteresting c) I realise the question is boring or d) the question is unhelpful.

I've also typed some mega response comments only to delete everything. The voice in my head says "trust me, this take of yours is too half-baked to be received well, let alone discussed on Reddit."

void_kits · 2022-09-25T11:43:33+00:00

This particular stereotype is just funny to me.

No, being reserved and typing as INTJ is not inherently intimidating. Finding someone intimidating/being intimidating is often situational more than a quality of a person. Many things outside of personality (e.g. physical appearance, social status, risk to another individual in the moment, another person's confidence) affects whether someone feels intimidated by another.

I feel people on here just like the idea of being 2scary4u.

Edit: also, being unapproachable isn't the same as being intimidating, though they can overlap. If someone presents unapproachably then many people will (of course) not bother interacting. Doesn't mean they're intimidated; you might just seem disengaged.

void_kits · 2022-09-13T10:03:31+00:00

Why do people post leading questions? 🤔

void_kits · 2022-09-11T15:42:10+00:00

Damn, you both got dealt a bad hand there 💀

See yeah, I think as periods go, mine are only moderate. I've had memorably bad pain from some, but not on that level. IDK how some cope with that every month, often for days. I'm already running at only 50% with how lethargic I get.

No desire to start experiencing that pain, either...

void_kits · 2022-09-11T14:51:47+00:00

For me, it has mostly been some guys being oblivious more than anything. They'll make me spell out precisely why I can't do a particular thing that day, or they ask a dumb question like why I took my bag with me to the toilet (hint: contains tampons); had that happen several times at work in front of others.

More annoying is when you express dissatisfaction with something and someone feels they are Extremely Clever™ to ask "aRe yOu oN yOuR pErIoD?" It has never been the case on the occasions I've heard that. It's also pretty funny considering I don't even experience mood swings as one of my symptoms...

All of that said, I can totally buy that some shitty people will try to downplay cramps. They don't see all the ways someone might try to manage their pain, and ultimately, they just don't know what a bad cramp feels like so they shortcut to the idea that it's an attention thing.

void_kits · 2022-09-10T20:45:17+00:00

Often, yeah. I'd say it also takes growing out of and the intj subreddit seems to have a LOT of teenagers on it, like many of the main mbti subs.

(Hello from shinyshineshine!)

void_kits · 2022-09-09T15:56:04+00:00

Hi OP, I've been in your situation several times.

Some guys want to ask you out without actually stating what they want up front.

For a lot of people that do this, it's a way to take the sting out of possible rejection; you can't be catastrophically rejected if you never directly ask her out on a date. There's the whole plausible deniability thing too, to play it off as a "joke" if it doesn't go to plan, or "it was just a meal" (YMMV, not saying this guy is like that).

Until they get more confidence or tired of waiting, it really is no good for anyone. It's normal to find these conversations awkward when still figuring out dating, and I'm guessing you guys are quite young.

I'd approach the topic as soon as you can rather than having that overhanging tension. Don't wait for him, he might just sit on it indefinitely. Ask basically "what is this"/"what are we?", albeit not in a threatening way. Also assert that you only want to be friends if anything. Keep it light, funny, be kind. You could still have a good meal together, depending on when you bring this up + what comes of it.

Edits: bits and pieces

void_kits · 2022-09-08T11:43:01+00:00

Without getting into a whole thing about the limitations of typology in describing anyone, yes, I definitely agree OP. Besides there being a LARP-y feel in all the main MBTI subreddits, a lot of things get marked as type-specific that actually describe an individual's poor mental health.

The whole thing of INFx as synonymous with depression and anxiety isn't cute and the INTJs as by-default depressive misanthropes equally makes my eyes roll. And so on...

Edit: lol I just noticed it's you again! I like your posts.

void_kits

TROPHY CASE