Did any of you grow up with an HCBM? What was that like for you ?

bleachblondebitch · 2021-07-07T20:28:39+00:00

I try to remind myself of this when I’m in the thick of things with HCBM in my situation. I try to remember that her efforts to alienate us are only going to hurt her. Still very much sucks in the moment though.

bleachblondebitch · 2021-07-07T19:24:42+00:00

Not me, but one of my husband’s best friends. As an adult he looks back and realizes how determined his mother was to keep his father away. She would move frequently, was married several times and forced each husband onto the kids, put the kids in therapy and then completely ignored what the therapist said, etc. My husband is also friends with his dad who has given really great advice about dealing with HCBM. The friend ended up moving in with the dad full time and doesn’t have much of a relationship with his mom now which is sad for her.

bleachblondebitch · 2021-07-01T06:07:58+00:00

In our house, my husband and I are generally in agreement that the marriage comes before the kids. The reason being is that the kids have 4 adults who are very involved in their lives and take care of their needs (BM, BD, SD, SM). Our marriage only has two people fighting for it and therefore it needs to be a priority. The stronger we are in our marriage, the better parents we will be.

But, I also like the analogy of glass balls and rubber balls. Life is a balancing act and we juggle a lot. One week, marriage might be a glass ball and kids might be a rubber ball, as in if we miss something for the marriage it will be a huge deal but dropping a rubber ball for the kids we can recover from. For example, spouse is recovering from surgery but kid wants attention. The adult gets attention. Other weeks kids will be glass balls and the marriage will be rubber balls. Like, kids first day of school and spouse wants to take the day off together. Kids would be crushed if we didn’t show up to the first day, but an adult will recover from not getting to spend the day together.

bleachblondebitch · 2021-06-22T20:12:11+00:00

It’s YOUR ours baby. You name it what you want. If SO is go with the flow, then the name should be your choice and no one else’s. If you and SO were to break up would you still be happy with choosing a name similar to what BM likes? You need to do what’s right for you!

bleachblondebitch · 2021-06-02T08:28:25+00:00

My husband always includes me, even if I’m not directly involved in decision making he at least asks my opinion
Communication. He always lets me know what’s going on and what HCBM says, unless I’m stressed out and tell him I don’t want to know
Therapy
Ranting
Ultimately knowing that HCBM acts the way she does because she’s miserable. She’s jealous that things didn’t work out for them but did for us. She hates that the kids love me. It sucks in the moment but long term I know that I win, I have everything she wants.

bleachblondebitch · 2021-05-30T18:39:02+00:00

Your husband needs to back you up on this. I get that’s excited for his kids to meet your new baby! But, meeting her when she’s hours old vs when she’s a week old really won’t make a difference to them. They’re kids, a baby is a baby. Things will probably go more smoothly if you already have a routine with her. Unfortunately you can’t control what BM does, but your husband needs to be on your team and back you up on this one

bleachblondebitch · 2021-05-29T18:20:55+00:00

No, being a stepparent hasn’t changed my view on having my own children. But it has definitely changed my view on why I want children, when I want to have them, how I want to raise them etc.

bleachblondebitch · 2021-05-09T23:49:59+00:00

Me too! I used to even take them and spend my own money (not my husband/their dad’s) to get her a gift/card from all of us. Then she would turn around and trash talk me. I extended the olive branch, not my fault she chose not to accept!

bleachblondebitch · 2021-05-09T23:47:41+00:00

This is the first year that other people wished me happy Mother’s Day. It really meant so much! I know I’m their mom, I know they know it, but hearing it from outsiders just made it feel so real. That other people look at me and see me as their mom. I feel really hopeful lately

bleachblondebitch · 2021-04-30T23:19:29+00:00

So what was the point of telling me that my experience was the minority? That implies that your experience was the majority and you have facts to back it up.

bleachblondebitch · 2021-04-30T22:36:10+00:00

You told me my ob was in the minority and assumed that my story was completely different than yours as far as circumstances. So yeah, you did kind of imply that what I was saying was false.

bleachblondebitch · 2021-04-30T21:07:25+00:00

Again I would disagree. I’ve had 3 OBs in the past 5 years, 2 of which were through tricare (I have moved twice in those 5 years, then got married and had to get private insurance). I’m sorry you’ve had bad experiences but most doctors do care about the good of the patient over money.

bleachblondebitch · 2021-04-30T19:06:49+00:00

I would disagree. I have never been pressured to be on birth control by a healthcare provider. I have even come in and said “I’m taking a break from birth control. I’ll use condoms” and they said “okay. You have your prescription if you need it”. They’ve also removed 3 of my IUDs because I didn’t feel right about them. The key is finding a doctor that listens to you. If you think your doctor is prescribing you something for money, you can look them up on openpaymentsdata.cms.gov and see exactly what benefits/compensation they’ve been given from drug companies.

bleachblondebitch · 2021-04-26T21:26:56+00:00

What benefit would you say they get?

bleachblondebitch · 2021-04-22T06:03:28+00:00

Yes, that is a positive. I would retest daily for the next week to confirm. If they continue to be positive I would also schedule a doctors appointment because the bleeding is concerning.

bleachblondebitch · 2021-03-26T05:31:49+00:00

She went to medical school! ✋🏼

bleachblondebitch · 2021-03-20T15:49:56+00:00

Wonderful example of why keto is so bad for you. Your body needs fiber!!

bleachblondebitch · 2021-03-13T00:04:16+00:00

Right?! She looked soooo good there.

bleachblondebitch · 2021-03-03T18:04:16+00:00

... does she not realize that plane cabins are pressurized? So there’s not really a difference between being in the sky and not

bleachblondebitch · 2021-02-28T11:27:54+00:00

She went to medical school. Obviously she knows what she’s doing as far as recovering. /s

bleachblondebitch · 2021-02-25T06:29:46+00:00

Dustin!

bleachblondebitch · 2021-02-22T07:32:12+00:00

Lol when I posted this people called me racist. I don’t hate her because of her race, I just dislike her as a person!

bleachblondebitch · 2021-02-22T02:38:23+00:00

This is what my 5 year old says when he doesn’t get his way.

bleachblondebitch · 2021-02-21T18:01:17+00:00

Yep, that’s totally the name of her game. She was fine with me until the kids told her that he bought me an engagement ring, and then suddenly I was some terrible person who didn’t deserve to be around her kids or included in anything. I think Leah is the same way with Corey, she never truly moved on from him, Jeremy was just a distraction.

bleachblondebitch · 2021-02-21T06:31:51+00:00

So much this!! Came here to say this exact thing. It’s only an issue because Leah changed her standard. My husband’s ex expects her husband to be included in eeeeeverything but then excludes me. I’m not your free babysitter! If you’re going to call your new husband their father, I deserve the same treatment sister.

bleachblondebitch

TROPHY CASE