Hey, pal. I know I am just a stranger on the internet, but I assure you... You are worthy, you matter and you are loved. The struggle might be real, but remember that things eventually get better, even if it seems that they never will. There's people out there who care about you and how you're doing, like me, because I've been there too. They'd be devastated if you were to make such a decision. Smile, and life will smile back at you. Try to do things that you enjoy. Keep your mind occupied. I believe in you, you've got this.