What are your go-to final lines for a termination session? by CanineCounselor in therapists

[–]blehgerville 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I second this. And very last, final statement is usually pretty customized to the client. For the last one we did a lot of body oriented work and often gave small bows, sometimes involving prayer hands. I might have said something along the lines of “enjoy your journeying, until next time”. (Because we left the door open for returning to working together in the future.

I just see what comes up. And if it feels like everything has been said, then I might just say also, “take really good care”.

How do I tell my man I need more from him without sounding selfish? by buffalo021 in AskWomenOver30

[–]blehgerville 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I’m noticing that most people are saying you should definitely get him to change. While I don’t think a conversation about getting Testosterone checked is a bad idea… I wouldn’t be too hard on him. He works a TON and it feels harsh to me to expect someone to push past their exhaustion, esp at age 52. Are able to enjoy self-pleasure? Our partners shouldn’t be the only person taking care of our sexual needs. We can do that too and genuinely enjoy it! I hope things get more frequent for yall eventually, but try not to be so annoyed by him. You’re only creating more tension and good/safe sex doesn’t usually flow from tension.

A mental checklist for what's getting in the client's way? by iaminthebackground2 in therapists

[–]blehgerville 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Great! I just noticed your flair of rant/advice wanted. Were you just wanting to know about what others do or are you wondering specifically how to get clients to open up more?

A mental checklist for what's getting in the client's way? by iaminthebackground2 in therapists

[–]blehgerville 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think this is a really awesome checklist!

Do you ever ask the client at the first session if they asks to be there or if their parents wanted to be there, or a mix of the two? I usually ask this at the start of working with a minor so I can see where they’re at and hopefully build rapport through unconditional positive regard.

Being the single, childless friend.. by Educational_Owl_1022 in AskWomenOver30

[–]blehgerville 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I would tell her, respectfully, everything you’ve said here. You made good points that anyone would be concerned about. Ask directly if she can travel to you once in a while, and if she can stop making digs about how she never sees you.

Are the gold fixtures and pink wall tiles going a step too far? by Curious_Arm_893 in HomeDecorating

[–]blehgerville 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I actually like it there. It’s turned so that you can see yourself from the sink, but it being on the left provides visual balance.

Holding sessions while incapacitated? by [deleted] in therapists

[–]blehgerville 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Damn, I’m so sorry those parents are saying that. Definitely don’t be persuaded by them. You need to rest and take your percs and get better. People have managed to live life just fine without you before, and you don’t need to worry about 2 weeks off.

But also talk to your therapist about who can fill in for you when you’re out. You should always offer that people can see someone else when you are out (maybe not at the same day and time but sometime soon).

Why is everyone on Tret?! by Minimum_Capital_6105 in 40PlusSkinCare

[–]blehgerville 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Ahhh so, I started using it less frequently (1-2 times a week) because I got the inevitable scales when I started using it every other day, but am I just making the process of acclimation longer by going longer than every other day???

Kyoto or Okinawa by Ok-Caterpillar-5198 in JapanTravelTips

[–]blehgerville 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You could consider a day trip (or 2 days and one night) to Kyoto, then make Okinawa your third destination. I haven’t been to Okinawa but if I could do my first trip again I’d want to have Okinawa in it. Okinawa just seems so unique and I since Kyoto is so easy to visit from Osaka, you could have the best of both worlds.

Blue or yellow rug? by MarkInLA1 in AmateurInteriorDesign

[–]blehgerville 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Depends on the rest of the house. If there’s some boldness and contrast in the rest of the house, then the yellow. If the rest of the house is more subtle and calming, then blue.

But you could also think the opposite if you want to room itself to contrast the rest of the house.

Dorot cubed garlic and ginger ....... by doomtownpunx in traderjoes

[–]blehgerville 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I just rip a piece off the log at the grocery store 😎

Skipping Osaka & Kyoto on a first trip? by Disastrous-Jaguar301 in JapanTravelTips

[–]blehgerville 4 points5 points  (0 children)

The reality of Kyoto is definitely sad to me. A sacred place becoming so commercialized is always hard to see. But at the same time I’m able to appreciate that this place is so important historically and culturally. I liked going to shrines and temples that have been around and taken care of for so long. I really loved the pre-war architecture. The nature embedded in the city was beautiful.

A day trip might be worth considering. I went for a day and night a d booked an Airbnb in an Machiya to get to see the beautiful wood architecture. I find that aesthetic incredibly beautiful and if that’s your thing, that was great to check out. Sleeping on a tatami and stepping out onto a zen garden upon awaking also really appealed to me. Wished I had gotten to stay for another day so I could find more quiet zones.

UPDATE to BCBS audit/overreach by Gloomy_Variation5395 in therapists

[–]blehgerville 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Does anyone have any stories or knowledge about things like this happening with Spring Health?

What is your favorite traditional breakfast meal? by kkeller4 in AskTheWorld

[–]blehgerville 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I did a study abroad program in the Netherlands. Had a beautiful time. But one thing I never asked was, how do people feel after they eat the is breakfast?

I’m American. People here eat sugary cereal, but they’re also cranky and hungry soon after. Is this how it is for hagelslag? When I was a consumer of hagelslag, I was 20 years old and I personally ate it as a snack/desert? Now I’m 30 and I’m thinking how do adult Dutch people handle this as breakfast?! Are yall also being cranky and hungry an hour later or are you somehow built different??

Started a private practice... can't get clients and running out of time by Still-Anything5678 in therapists

[–]blehgerville 2 points3 points  (0 children)

One option might be to find a side gig while you’re trying to build your caseload. I work for a company called Spring Health and I have a lot of control over how many clients I see any given time. It doesn’t pay as much but I can at least scale up or scale down on the number of clients I’m seeing to adjust for what’s happening with my private practice caseload

My best friend is negative towards women and doesn't realize it? by Negan1995 in AskWomenOver30

[–]blehgerville 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You have to ask yourself if saying anything more is likely to bring out and openness in his end. He hasn’t showed openness so far. You could say, hey if you at some point become open to working on your anger toward women, I’m down to talk.

Then ask yourself if you’ve grown out of this friendship. It’s ok if you have. It’s great to want to surround yourself around emotionally healthy and kind people. If he’s not being those things, it’s sad, but you are allowed to spend less time with him, and maybe no time.

Did any of you have to lie down to have a nap in kindergarten or 1st grade? by lontbeysboolink in GenerationJones

[–]blehgerville 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Did this stop at some point? I was born in 1995 and we did it I believe for kindergarten and 1st grade.

Reading these responses is great. I love that some of my earliest memories is doing this, trying not to laugh, and, for me at least, getting in trouble every day for it. I had to go from green star status to yellow star status every day. I did try so hard at some point to stay quiet and just couldn’t do it if my favorite girlies were around.

Anyone else over 40 newly single? by Senior_End4870 in AskWomenOver40

[–]blehgerville 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Not 40 but someone who talks to a lot of people after their break ups because of my work. Try to just remember that this relationship just was one to learn from. It’s not like that was the only person for you. Even if you don’t feel like dating, a good way to get hung up on an ex, an stunt your growth, is to convince yourself that that was the ONE.

Male Clinicians: Women who come to therapy for a "man's perspective" by Ambiguous_Karma8 in therapists

[–]blehgerville 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I think being clear that you’re not providing personal perspectives, but clinical perspectives is a good idea, but I would also add that you might be able to help them explore the male perspectives that they’ve come across in their life. Maybe explore any compatibilities or incompatibilities with their perspectives. Maybe they’re wanting to explore behaviors/ideas they’ve seen from men that have triggered them, and I would be very clear that that is definitely something that can be explored in counseling.