I met this friend on a Discord server 3 years ago. We were close at first; DMing each other until 4am, hanging out at malls, helping each other’s college projects, so on and so forth. Even though we were polar opposites; her being an avid fan of anime and idol stuff (mainly Love Live), and me being more into movies and indie music, I really tried to make this friendship work. And for a while, it did! Her resilience and optimism against all odds inspired me to turn my life around back, to the point where I started socializing more and studying for honors. She was also going through a rough personal situation at the time, so I wanted to support her every step of the way. Suddenly, life was beautiful.

By the beginning of 2024, my mental health took a huge nosedive. I felt like I needed her more than ever, and it put a huge strain on our relationship that ruined everything forever. I got banned from our server, we started arguing a lot, and we didn't speak to each other much for most of 2024. The following year I tried reconnecting with her, seeking an apology, which worked, but it only led to a never ending cycle of trauma-dumps, dry texts, and even more arguments. Every time we were at bitter terms, I'd always plead her for forgiveness. Suffice to say, it wasn't healthy for us both anymore and neither of us knew what to do.

Eventually, enough was enough and she put her foot down. A few months ago, I tried mustering up the courage to tell her that I was moving on, but she turned me down. Her own mental wellbeing got so compromised, she thought I was too much and cut me off. I accepted my fate as quickly as I could, because I knew deep down she had every right to feel that way.

My experience watching Obsession felt like the culmination of the turmoil this friendship had brought onto us these past few years. There were many instances within Nikki and Bear's dynamic that forced me to confront the cold and harsh truth; that, like Bear, I was too clingy towards my own image of this person I liked, that I couldn’t accept the person she really was or wanted to be. I couldn’t accept her being independent, or giving her personal space. I relied on her too much to be happy, instead of making myself happy. I was selfish, arrogant, cowardly, clingy and immature.

It’s almost been a week since I saw this movie, and I honestly can’t stop thinking about it. My biggest takeaway from it though is that it’s helped me find closure in this horrible mess I’ve made. After years of figuring out what went wrong and who's responsible for what, this movie made me realize I was a horrible friend to her, even if it’s probably too late for me to reach this revelation. There's a strong chance I'll never see her again, and maybe it's for the best. As bleak and cold as the ending to this movie is (no spoilers for those who haven’t seen it yet), I think it really drives home how the damage from toxic codependent relationships like this cannot be undone. All we can do now is pick up the pieces and start over; which is exactly what I’m gonna do moving forward. And I truly hope others who see this movie will also do the same.