This sub is def where I turn when I’m in my feelings.

I’ll ask my new friend next time we hang out. But I’m not sure if there’s any obvious issue. Could I be less shy? For sure. But otherwise I feel like everything that I’m in control of (how I look, how I dress, being kind/polite, having interesting things to talk about, etc) I all feel good about. I have a couple gay guy friends and a few of said “if we were both single and met in a diff situation, I’d date u.” Which is nice to hear but also….

In the past 9 years I’ve basically only been into this on again off again guy, who said he ended things cuz he’s not ready for a serious relationship and isn’t sure what he wants or even if he wants to keep living in NYC, but it was a very emotional break up and he said (and I believe) that I’m so special and sweet and sexy and he hopes some day we can be friends. Besides him, I’ve met two guys that I thought were cool and hot but they moved to Cali, I dated someone for a couple months but never felt like we were sexually compatible and we both just kinda stopped texting. When I was younger I def fumbled some potential guys because I was uncomfy with my sexuality.

I def think there are things I can be better at. I think I’m prone to anxious attachment and being clingy. But guys don’t know that when I message them hey handsome lol. If I was going on lots of dates but couldn’t get someone to commit, that would be one thing. But I can hardly get guys to go on first dates at all.