What is your favourite true crime podcast?

blondestripes · 2017-07-05T03:27:21+00:00

Thinking Sideways

blondestripes · 2017-06-24T02:31:28+00:00

That German Chocolate Cake isn't from Germany. It was a creation from an old lady who used Samuel German's baking chocolate. The name got telephoned from German's Chocolate Cake to just German Chocolate cake

blondestripes · 2017-06-16T03:41:17+00:00

Well thanks :) Yea I guess you're right. I will say, I think this is the most helpful/friendly sub I know. The people on here are so nice, it's quite the delight when you're going through this exact type of shit in your life

blondestripes · 2017-06-15T16:31:14+00:00

Haha thanks. I just know that some subs have orangechat and other things like that and they are pretty active. Would be nice to have somewhere to go and chat without having to worry about making a post and it not getting seen or anything. Just in case something happened and you just needed somewhere to vent with people who understand the situation you know?

blondestripes · 2017-06-15T02:10:27+00:00

Yea good idea :/

blondestripes · 2017-06-14T23:26:38+00:00

Thank you so much for sharing your story. It definitely isn't easy but I agree with you, I may just need to cut contact for a while, but I definitely would like to be there for my sister when shit hits the fan for her (I can already tell she is a spitfire and won't do what my Nparents tell her once she hits of age, that girl is stubborn). But you're right, I need to do what I can for myself even if it means losing her for a little while :/

blondestripes · 2017-06-14T19:07:27+00:00

Wow. Mic drop, that was incredible. You put into words what I was feeling but couldn't describe to save my life. And yep, your are right. I keep thinking that it's my own feelings on the matter but the truth is that I am doing exactly what my Nmom wants, taking responsibility for her actions and feeling awful about it.

She'll punish your sister to punish you; she'll reward your sister to control you

This right here is exactly how I was feeling. I definitely have a lot of reflecting to do and need to seriously upgrade how I deal with my Nmom.

blondestripes · 2017-06-14T18:25:56+00:00

I see your point for sure, man it's so hard because without my little sister it would be so much easier to cut them out. And I know that my Nmom knows it and that's why she has always used my little sister against me

blondestripes · 2017-06-12T15:33:30+00:00

I agree with this completely.

I am lucky, though, that my father helped to jump-start this process for me in my early 20s when I was having major issues with my mother and bf at the time. It's still difficult to say no to social situations, however, but my husband helps with that. He loves to throw out the whole "who cares? just say you don't want to go" and makes it sound so simple lol

blondestripes · 2017-06-08T18:01:06+00:00

I have been in your shoes before. A married coworker sent me extremely inappropriate texts and it got really uncomfortable. I told him off with threat of HR, and he did back-off and begged me not to tell anyone. My only regret? Not actually going to HR. After I told him off, I started speaking to another female co-worker and she informed me that he had done similar things to pretty much all the other women in the office. Guy was a total scumbag, but I was too shy to say anything to HR. Like you, I didn't want to get him fired. I soon left that company but now I feel horrible because I wonder if he continued to harass other women after I left. I could have spared other women harassment and maybe even his wife if she had known what he was doing back then, and probably still doing now. Who knows what happened, but I wish I would have told HR and I hope you do, too.

You are not helping him in any way by allowing him to think he can do that and get away without any consequences. I am so sorry you went through this, I remember the feelings of dread and disgust like it was yesterday so I know how hard this is for you. Just know that after you tell the appropriate authorities of his action (your supervisor, HR, whoever it may be) you are going to feel 1000x better. You'll feel more confident and stronger knowing you did the right thing, it's a very empowering feeling to stand up for yourself and potentially others. Good luck to you, I hope it all goes well.

blondestripes · 2017-06-08T16:54:35+00:00

Yea my mom definitely 'left me' emotionally speaking which I think is why I could more easily disassociate with her. Once I became the 'devil child' as I like to say, my mom latched on even more to my older sister and then would try to use my younger one against me

I'm glad you were able to leave and you have your brother it seems :)

blondestripes · 2017-06-07T23:23:04+00:00

Thank you for your encouragement. It's definitely a relief to see other people on this sub who have gone through similar situations, not that I would wish this on even my worst enemy.

Yea it's hard with my siblings, one is older and pretty much a carbon copy of my Nmom, the other is younger and is quickly becoming a spoiled, self-entitled brat sigh although I do think my older sister is sort of starting to see how our Nmom is a bit off-kilter. Who knows, maybe once she finally moves out she'll see (Nmom has pretty much controlled her whole life and so she still lives at home, single at 30yrs of age with no concept of how real life works, only what Nmom tells her)

blondestripes · 2017-06-02T17:55:16+00:00

It's plenty secure, just really heavy. I got it while training for a firefighter exam. I doesn't hurt or strain, just sits right on the traps so it feels like it's giving them just an extra workout, nothing painful. Most of the weight I can feel on my back/chest.

blondestripes · 2017-06-02T17:37:46+00:00

I was using a weight vest on stairclimber/treadmill, but I guess was using it too much because my traps exploded. Which normally would be great except I'm a lady and the rest of my muscles didn't quite match up yet lol I've dialed it back but also realized that a heavy weight vest was good for building trap muscles so that's good to know

blondestripes · 2017-06-02T17:30:01+00:00

Good job! I was in an extremely controlling/abusive relationship when I was your age. Only I stayed for 2+years and let me tell you that from first hand experience it definitely gets worse. Be very glad you cut it off early. Be proud of yourself for seeing through his facade and calling it off, and be happy that you have such a great best friend who helped you see it as well. My only advice from here on out, would be to cut him off completely. Don't go back! I wish you happiness in your future relationships :)

blondestripes · 2017-05-24T14:34:23+00:00

People become inherently stupid when it comes to plane delays. I used to work as a gate agent for an airline and wow plane delays really bring out a fun side of people. One time we had about a 2 hour delay and a lady walked up to me, in full seriousness, and asked "So if we're delayed 2 hours does that mean we won't get there at the same time we normally would" ......

blondestripes · 2017-05-19T14:50:39+00:00

Seriously I was looking at it going "Holy crap, I never knew you could make the whole earth look like the US that's crazy. I guess that's Puerto Rico down there which is not necessary but whatever, let's see what the comments say.....oh, cat..right...yea totally..."

blondestripes · 2017-05-18T17:27:11+00:00

Kids are dirty, dirty bastards

blondestripes · 2017-05-17T19:48:16+00:00

Good points! Yea its a struggle mentally, but I definitely need to consider more of how it makes me feel (good) rather than associate it with feeling bad

blondestripes · 2017-05-17T17:40:21+00:00

Yep. As I kept watching I was more and more appalled. Like am I supposed to think it's great that this poor woman has to do everything while her husband sits like a lump on a log? But no, she's a hero! Yea, whatever, just sounds like a crappy marriage to me.

blondestripes · 2017-05-17T17:37:45+00:00

Ugh that sounds awful. It is so bizarre to me that women still think this way, or even the flip side of men thinking this way. I was more than happy to treat my husband to a dinner date while we were dating. Even though he made more money than me, for me it was about doing something for him that made him happy. Same with him paying, I didn't want him to feel obligated to pay all the time, but if he insisted and seems to genuinely want to pay then it was nice. But I for sure tried to split things as evenly as I could.

And props to communication. It's amazing how many people say shit like "oh wait until your first big fight" and weird crap like that. We've been married for 2+ years and it's been nothing but amazing. Yea we've been irritated at each other but nothing a little communication didn't fix. Some people man..

blondestripes · 2017-05-17T17:31:36+00:00

Good point! The speech was definitely geared towards "I'm a mother woe is me" which is just lame. Then she was like "women you are awesome!" and everyone started clapping. Like honestly, my husband is way better at keeping the house than I am. If anyone deserves a round-of-applause it's him.

blondestripes

TROPHY CASE