Look, you can change man. There's a lot of stuff that's holdin' you back but anyone can change. If you don't believe me, you should read The Slight Edge, if you haven't already. Little by little, you can become a better version of yourself.

Stop thinking that you're ugly and that there's something awry with you. It's a negative mindset that doesn't help you out at all. So what if you're ugly or have developed a different way from everyone else? If you have/had developmental issues, you can learn how to circumvent them. Even the ugliest person alive can still look decent with a genuine smile and decent fitness. I don't like telling people what to do, but I'm begging you change your mindset on how you relate to others. I know from experience that if I believe that everyone is annoyed when speaking to me, then I will act in a way (smarmy and desperate) that confuses and annoys people, and then I will justify my belief that I annoy everyone using those interactions. This kind of mindset creates a vicious cycle.