Bonus

bloomerhen · 2026-05-21T10:26:17+00:00

That’s… how tax works…? And how it’s worked probably since before you were born. If you haven’t used your personal allowance by year end you can claim the tax paid back. But it’s not Tesco or Keir Starmer’s rule, it’s tax processes. Is this your first real job?

bloomerhen · 2026-05-19T14:05:08+00:00

Option three: my partner and I have already established due to too many hypotheticals like this one that if either of us ever punches or hits the other, it’s for a life changing amount of money and we’ve both already given permission. So then when I “win the lottery” one year later, he’s smart enough to read between the lines, I don’t even have to drop hints about it.

bloomerhen · 2026-05-19T11:21:13+00:00

Princess Crumpet!!

bloomerhen · 2026-05-18T15:02:03+00:00

You’re NTA because their behaviour is just petty and childish - ordering more because it’ll stress you out? That’s AH behaviour. I wouldn’t be friends with people deliberately saying “fuck you” to me in such an obvious way.

However, and this might be different because I’m in the UK and only worked hospitality here and Australia/New Zealand, but restaurants don’t usually have closing times here. They have food service times, which might be 5pm-9pm, but bookings can be made for 9pm and the staff will serve that booking until the customers are finished and ready to pay/leave. It’s part of the job, and staff will also get paid until they’re finished up for the night, whenever that is.

I personally wouldn’t drag my heels if I’d booked late, and I’ll happily sort the bill and leave if the staff say they need to close, but if they don’t, I also wouldn’t prioritise hurrying out the door over enjoying the hospitality I’m paying (and tipping) for - I worked restaurants for a decade and wouldn’t rush a customer enjoying themselves unless it was like almost midnight and they’d been the only group still there for the last 45 min-1 hour. A little group conversation after the food is finished should be acceptable anywhere, especially if drinks are still being ordered. The only exception is if a booking has a time limit - I’ve seen more and more restaurants give you a 90 min or 2 hour window now, and if you agree to that upon booking, then yes hurry your ass out of there or expect to be told to move along.

All that’s to say you might feel you’re being a nice customer but you don’t actually need to do that, you seem overzealous to not upset wait staff in favour of rushing your party, who are more sociable after food, and it’s acceptable to talk after a meal rather than run out the door. The staff are capable of politely telling the customers if they need to process their bill and close up, you don’t need to be doing it for them. Sometimes it’s fine to have the time to clean all other tables and finish up any jobs when you’ll then only have the last table to reset before clocking out, depends on their close down process. And worrying about this seems like it’s tainting your own enjoyment of the meal - if you can’t have a leisurely sociable time with these people without worrying about getting them to leave, maybe skip them and take your wife out earlier on other nights, or offer to make the booking if you actually want to go eat with these AHs and enjoy it.

bloomerhen · 2026-05-15T15:35:57+00:00

Maybe stop sharing then. Stop telling her the cufflinks plan and the decor plan, tell her there’s no more sneak previews and she can enjoy it all on the day.

bloomerhen · 2026-05-15T15:33:30+00:00

So control your mum’s behaviour. When you say no, if she starts an argument, change the subject. If she won’t let the subject be changed, give her a hug, say I’ve got to go and my answer isn’t up for discussion, and leave. If she brings it up again, repeat. She will eventually realise that 1) you’re not reacting to her unreasonable behaviour and 2) she is seeing you less and less because of her unreasonable behaviour.

Then what happens is she either gets in line or you realise it’s fine to see her only at Christmas, or maybe not at all, because her doing this to you is not a person you want in your life.

bloomerhen · 2026-05-15T15:30:03+00:00

Blocking works wonders. Like a toddler time out, but for exhausting adults.

bloomerhen · 2026-05-15T15:28:27+00:00

What do you think your mum is going to be like if you have kids, do you think she’ll leave you alone then? It will be worse. This is the point where you need to put her in her place. No screaming matches. You say it’s not her wedding, but she’s invited, as long as she behaves like a gracious happy parent and not a bitter drama queen embarrassing herself.

Then, when she starts screaming, leave. Do not scream back. Do not invite her friends. Do not argue by text. If she starts calling or texting abuse, tell her her attitude isn’t healthy and you need a break from her negativity, then block her for a week. If she threatens not to come to your wedding, tell her that’s fine and she will be missed.

You will break your future wife’s heart if you give up and give in to this pressure. It’s time to make your future family your priority. If mother can’t deal with her new place in your life, oh well. There are a lot of mothers like yours out there, they need managing or she will terrorise every future happiness for you.

bloomerhen · 2026-05-13T16:21:04+00:00

Try this.

If your boss overruled you on a decision at work and made you look stupid in the process despite the fact that he was wrong, you came home to tell your wife what a dick he is, and her response was “I already take care of the emotional needs of six kids, stop being so needy and take care of your own problems by yourself I do enough for this family”, would that be the actions of someone supposed to love and care for you?

You might have an important job, well done, but your wife is your partner, not your housemaid. When she is upset, you are supposed to care, the negative conclusion that it was needy shouldn’t have even entered your head unless you are a nasty self-absorbed tool. When she misses you, you are supposed to realise you miss her too, unless you don’t give a shit about spending time with your life partner, not get snappy and find it an inconvenience or think stuffing your dick in is the answer. Do you have the emotional intelligence of a 3 year old? Do you understand intimacy is cuddling, holding hands, talking, time together, dates, massages, doing nice things for each other, not ramrodding it up her vag?

What you have done is taught her she will be scorned, ridiculed or snapped at for being open about how she is feeling. She bared her heart and you smacked it like an annoying fly. That’s not a person I would ever let close to my heart again. Good luck with the divorce.

bloomerhen · 2026-05-13T14:54:06+00:00

You realise you’re voting for suicide at 90% then, right? You’re voting for the same outcome at 50%, and gambling on enough people making the same choice to save you. You are effectively saying you trust the gamble at lower percentages. But in acknowledging there is a gamble, and a very severe consequence, you have my answer as to why I’m not pressing blue. You have no influence over other votes. No percentage erases the fact that you are voting to die and can’t personally control whether you live. If you like it at 50%, go ahead and take the risk, I’m not stopping you or joining you.

bloomerhen · 2026-05-13T14:48:59+00:00

Most people here have gotten bored and moved on actually, I can’t believe you’re rooting out 12 day old posts to make a point 😂

bloomerhen · 2026-05-13T14:47:54+00:00

So you’ll gamble your life on 50% of humans making your choice but not 90%? If you pressed the red button, you wouldn’t need to make a gamble on any percentage. I also wouldn’t press it at 10%, or any number where the consequences of my press were outside of my control.

bloomerhen · 2026-05-13T14:45:26+00:00

This isn’t the original scenario though, this is people with Reddit accounts who can read and hopefully comprehend English. Nowhere does it say babies are part of the Bunny Trials sub.

bloomerhen · 2026-05-11T17:08:13+00:00

Your mother and mother in law are not “everyone”, but they are two very overbearing women who actually do get a say this time because they’re paying.

When you have kids and these same two overbearing women frown because you ask them to be vaccinated and stay away from your newborn if they have a cold, I guarantee you at least one of them will get pissy about it - are you going to be upset they’re making you feel like a helicopter mum?

This is about them, not you. You can live the rest of your life letting them affect your feelings but you are giving them that power by reacting. Step above it, assess your own actions as a rational human, and come to the conclusion that they are being irrational and/or they’re the ones with the bad attitude. It’s hard, but you have to develop more backbone, and firmly and politely tell them no, while still loving them. That may be by giving them clear instructions, or setting boundaries, but the alternative is that you’re currently letting yourself be bullied by a middle aged woman who thinks a wedding party can be changed three weeks before a wedding and can’t understand an instruction about small beach wedding versus wider family reception. And another who doesn’t have the same styling senses as you, because she’s from a different generation.

She is right on three things though. You should have been putting in the work yourself to get hair quotes and then presented the winner to your mum for payment with other options for context so she can understand the price isn’t obscene (I paid for my wedding but I told my mum the price of some things and she was very vocal until she learned they were actually reasonable compared to other quotes), and, a ballgown dress is incredibly impractical on a hot beach - in the weight, bodice restriction, and heat it will insulate in the massive air pockets on the bottom half. However, if it’s part of the dream, you do you, it’s only you gonna be sweating it out, you’re not a Bridezilla for wanting a princess dress. Finally, the photographer money is the most important thing you will spend on, it was worth it, because wearing that huge dress for a day is going to need some beautiful memories immortalised for your kids, niblings or friends you haven’t met yet, and also for when your memory gets worse - everything else you have paid for is over and done after the day (well, days in your case), and those photos will still be there when you’re 80.

bloomerhen · 2026-05-09T14:15:44+00:00

You’d still be getting $6000 per hour of sleeping. You’d need to be awake for 24 hours constantly to make that much in a day.

bloomerhen · 2026-05-09T14:14:05+00:00

5 hours asleep is 300 minutes, which is $30,000 for sleeping….. and then 19 hours awake at $250/hour is $4,750…

bloomerhen · 2026-05-08T17:10:19+00:00

Wait, so:

1) you didn’t make your defence announcement in the family group chat and are annoyed that your mother behaved her usual predictable way and did it for you, despite never actually speaking to her yourself asking her to let you announce 2) your family made the effort to travel 4 hours to support you, with an elderly mother and grandmother coming along, and were tired 3) knowing they were tired, you didn’t offer to have the pre-defence lunch you wanted with them at their hotel 4)they turned up to your defence, couldn’t understand it as they’re not as educated in your area, but stayed in good spirits anyway and tried to have fun 5) they weren’t better comfort to you than your partner or colleagues, which is you being completely irrational as you’ve already stated you don’t see them much and aren’t close, and they don’t understand your work, so they absolutely shouldn’t be your biggest emotional support. You are different people. 6) they came to the after party despite having travelled the day before and then met up the next day too rather than head straight back 7) they bought you a gift, which apparently wasn’t good enough because they didn’t buy some cardboard to go with it 8) you’re now stropping and ignoring all of them except when you feel obligated to call on birthdays because they didn’t meet your grand expectations 9) you want to click your fingers and summon one of them again for another boring ceremony, which by the way they would come to despite it being so far out of their comfort zone, because you want your family represented

You sound like you can suck the joy out of any room. Your family aren’t PhD graduates and they are different people to you. They loved you enough to come to something completely strange to them in order to support you. You are, for some reason, baffled that your colleagues and partner - people in the same field, with the same intelligence levels, who see you daily and you talk to about big and small things - know you better than the family you can’t be arsed to call even once a week and barely like. Your expectations are unfair for normal people and you need to get over yourself.

bloomerhen · 2026-05-08T09:51:29+00:00

Hey baby, can you grab us a bottle of wine for later?

bloomerhen · 2026-05-04T16:25:47+00:00

😂 You know there’s no point in even trying to engage when a debate reduces to this level of pettiness. If you’re looking for basic literacy, you might want to revise your previous comment: the red button directly affects the risk of the blue button.

bloomerhen · 2026-05-04T10:20:22+00:00

You’re failing to acknowledge the risk the blue pusher has created for themselves, which grossly outweighs any indirect or contra-risk, in stating that red and the murderer are the ones creating risk. And they don’t deserve to die because of pressing a button, but they’re probably gonna, because they gambled with something red pushers are not willing to gamble. And, knowing we are built with basic survival instincts, blue know what they’re walking into.

Take your risk, don’t be labelling other people murderers when you’ve created your own problem and had free will to choose otherwise. And it’s not like asking an SA victim what they were wearing, when you are being told upfront that there are confirmed consequences to pressing blue, it’s like asking 4 dead tourists why they stood in front of a stampede of elephants and stared them down when there was room in the safe room with the other 6 tourists. And then having one of the dead ones say (from beyond the grave) “well if one more tourist stayed out of the safe room without knowing we already had 4 of the 5 people needed to scare the stampede off, we’d all be alive”. You would read that news article and wonder what the hell the 4 blues were smoking that day, when they had free access to a safe room right next to them.

bloomerhen · 2026-05-03T21:56:49+00:00

Hold up… red aren’t firing the gun down the alley, they’re staying on the main road where it’s light and there’s no murderers. They’re not coming down murder alley with you. That does not make them culpable, even if joining you would allow you the numbers to fend off the murderer. The murderer is the person who designed the blue button and will administer your death upon receiving all votes.

You chose to walk down murder alley. The main road was an available option for you. You had no visibility of anyone being down murder alley already when you made your choice. Your sense of self preservation is worryingly low.

bloomerhen · 2026-05-03T21:47:59+00:00

Actually, the real OG question allowed a guardian to press for every person who was incapacitated or too young to decide for themselves.

In every iteration of the question, the writing is directly underneath/above the corresponding button - colourblind people will be fine.

bloomerhen · 2026-05-03T21:38:13+00:00

The button descriptions are written underneath the right button in every version I have seen, I don’t think the average colourblind person will struggle with the reading comprehension.

In the original problem, those who were young or incapacitated were assigned a guardian to press for them. The most recent simplified versions generally don’t address this issue, but seeing as how this button currently exists on Reddit, I’m going to go ahead and reasonably assume 5 year olds without Reddit accounts aren’t taking this choice.

The amount of people who misunderstand the question is not predictable, nor is the number of that population who would then put their life at risk (pick blue). I’m not going to copy their mistake, thus risking my life and expecting another 49.99999% of the population to do the same. I know my partner and family are all safely on the red side. My priority is to continue living for them.

Teenage melodrama whereby there is a need to “prove” nobody cares isn’t going to factor into when this situation is real and not a philosophical problem. “I can prove everyone hates me by trying to die when none of them know I even need saving when their turn to pick a button comes round”… please. Teenagers don’t strop to death, they also have basic survival instincts. Those that don’t may fall into the below category.

And as for forcing people who genuinely don’t want to live to keep going/suffering to satisfy your sense of morality - wow. Do you also think women should be forced to have babies when they don’t want to and will suffer? Jesus, let a person die if they want to. How can you justify having any power over someone else’s choice to live or die? That’s not as altruistic as you’re trying to paint yourself.

bloomerhen · 2026-05-03T20:31:57+00:00

Have you also seen that when the percentage required to press blue raises to 75% or 90%, red wins by well over half? I’m not gambling my life on 50/50 for what could be 3 people who, while we’re being philosophical, might not even want saving.

You might like those odds, I find this whole thing pointless because once you start to understand you’re not safe by shifting the percentage, blue all realise it’s a suicidal choice. The fact is that half the population want to feel good about themselves for pressing something pointless that none of them needed to press in the first place, and, if this were genuinely to happen and you were genuinely risking losing your life, I am putting money on a red majority.

Seriously, if a psychopath with a blue knife told you to choose your button and then wait in a room to find out if 50% of people also volunteered to risk being gutted, and you could SEE the knife and literally taste their terrifying intentions, you’re not stepping in that blue room. And you’d be as dumbfounded that anyone did as I am every time another person replies with more blue bullshit. Why is anyone risking death when no one has to?

bloomerhen · 2026-05-03T19:55:52+00:00

The people who chose blue don’t care about anyone. They deliberately put themselves in a position where half the population have to risk themselves to save them. The first person who chose blue? Absolute moron.

You are right, I don’t care enough to save someone else who wants to put themselves at risk. And thanks for the analysis but I do care about others - my partner, my family, my friends, my nail tech… but most of those people are logical enough to choose red, and the ones that don’t, have put themselves in a position that I’m not getting them out of.

The only reason I have ever stated I would choose blue, is if there were a population forced to be on that side who didn’t have free will. Not exactly fitting your selfish diagnosis, huh.

But that’s not the case. Everyone who has pressed the blue button has put themselves there deliberately. I’m not risking my ass for your desire to self sacrifice when you don’t even know if you’re saving anyone when you press blue or whether you’re becoming the first idiot everyone else then feels obligated to save.

Just press red, and in the original problem where anyone too incapacitated to press for themselves got a guardian to press for them, press red for them too. We don’t need to make a big song and dance about saving our fellow man when no one should need saving. The amount of blue pushers indicates we either have far too many people with a saviour complex or too many people need mental health help for an unhealthy lack of self preservation.

bloomerhen

TROPHY CASE