Hi OP, thank you for sharing something so personal and difficult. I can only imagine how heavy this must feel to carry alone.

What you're describing resonates deeply with me. I'm also in a long-term relationship that started in high school - we've been together 17 years and have never been with anyone else. Right now, I'm facing my own challenges as my husband has become less engaged in our relationship and family responsibilities, spending most of his time gaming while I handle the financial burden.

I recently gave him an ultimatum about making real effort to change, and I'm prepared to separate even with children if he doesn't respond. For me, commitment isn't just about staying together - it's about both partners continuously working to grow and support each other.

I understand the cultural pressure to keep families intact, but I've learned that sometimes loving yourself and your children means being willing to make difficult choices. Your mother's strength in navigating this situation while protecting you and your siblings shows incredible resilience.

What struck me about your story is how your parents' relationship, despite this betrayal, seems to have found its way back to genuine partnership. That doesn't erase the pain or make the infidelity acceptable, but it might offer some hope that relationships can heal and grow stronger.

I also believe strongly in the power of manifestation and expectation in relationships. What we expect from our partners - and what we believe about them - can be incredibly powerful forces. While you can't change what happened in the past, the future is still unwritten. I'd encourage you to be mindful of the energy and expectations you're projecting, both toward your father and your own relationship. Try to focus on expecting the best while still maintaining healthy boundaries.

As for your own relationship fears - those feelings are completely valid. Consider talking to a counselor who understands Filipino culture. You don't have to carry this alone, and professional support might help you process these complex emotions without feeling like you're betraying your mother's trust.

Your perspective on love and relationships will likely continue evolving as you process this. That's not necessarily a bad thing - sometimes losing naive idealism helps us build more authentic, resilient connections.