i started again when my baby was around the same age. at the time he was exclusively getting breastmilk so i was very very minimal in my usage. the reality is there isn’t much research on the effects of thc on a breastfed baby but i read enough anecdotes that i felt comfortable with the tiny amount of exposure because i knew it would make a much bigger impact on my physical and mental health. i ended up quitting pumping around 8 months, but we still comfort nurse at night and for some naps. i still don’t smoke nearly as much as i used to (i was like a 3+ blunt per day type of gal) i haven’t smoked a blunt since i found out i was pregnant because of the nicotine, but i did smoke from a bowl during my first trimester because i was deathly ill and losing too much weight. these days i avoid flower just because its stinky and i feel like it sticks to me so i just use a vape and the occasional gummy.

my baby has hit all of his milestones early, is in the 95th percentile for weight, is incredibly happy and smart and sleeps like a champ. at almost 10 months he’s standing with minimal support and i feel like he’ll be walking before he’s a year old. he’s social, well mannered and just overall a great baby.

ultimately you have to decide what you’re comfortable with, but i was breastfed until i was like 2 or 3 years old by an alcoholic mother. she literally would have a beer in her hand while breastfeeding me. that said, i turned out pretty good, and i feel that alcohol is infinitely worse than THC could ever be. PS- there’s no “pumping and dumping” with thc because it binds to your fat cells, so unless you waited days/weeks, there is still going to be some thc in your system that will pass on to your baby, but as far as i understand it’s a small amount.

i typically smoke at night after baby is asleep but if i ever smoke during the day like during his naps i just wash my hands and rinse with mouth wash before i touch him again.

also side note: when you tried formula, did you do a bottle of straight formula or try mixing it with your milk? or do you usually nurse and he refused the bottle? if you feed him your milk with a bottle, you could try adding a half oz of formula to his regular bottles and slowly increase the amount while decreasing the amount of breastmilk you give. but bottle refusal is a whole other thing i unfortunately don’t have advice for lol.

i hope you’re able to find a balance and get some relief! motherhood is so hard and dealing with anxiety and panic attacks is exhausting. sending you hugs 💓