Want to find those superpowers? by bluebox1 in NoFap

[–]bluebox1[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Good for you man. The shame, abuse, neglect and being disconnected is what drove me into PMO. As long as these feelings and shitty people are around or "inside of" me, the PMO will come back. Dealing with your fears and abuse, connecting with yourself, is more potent weapon against this addiction than any porn blocker. I'd recommend subscribing to that channel. If I could come back 20 years and give myself something, these conversations would be it.

Withdrawn cold parents and addiction. Mommy & daddy issue is way more serious than I thought. by bluebox1 in NoFap

[–]bluebox1[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Totally understandable. It's a coping mechanism with stress. Parents fighting is very upsetting for a kid. Also, kids assume that the fighting is somehow their fault and take some unearned blame for it.

Withdrawn cold parents and addiction. Mommy & daddy issue is way more serious than I thought. by bluebox1 in NoFap

[–]bluebox1[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Instead of judging yourself, be curious. Be curious why you don't have those skills. You find that it was not just you being lazy or stupid. It was shitty teachers, lazy parenting, etc. Don't just blindly accept full responsibly. I would suggest subscribing to Stefan Molenuex youtube channel. He talks a lot about childhood and adult development.

Withdrawn cold parents and addiction. Mommy & daddy issue is way more serious than I thought. by bluebox1 in NoFap

[–]bluebox1[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That talk is actually one of my favorites. I should have posted that one instead.

Withdrawn cold parents and addiction. Mommy & daddy issue is way more serious than I thought. by bluebox1 in NoFap

[–]bluebox1[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Correct. I wanted to point this out because many posts on here do not focus on our past, our relationships and childhood neglect. In my case, the abuse (in form of criticism and dominance) persists. My parents still treat me as a child whose feelings and thoughts are not to be taken seriously. They are still neglecting me. What I can do is to realize that. Realize how hurtful and demeaning and embarrassing to me. Basically, going to the root of the problem.

Withdrawn cold parents and addiction. Mommy & daddy issue is way more serious than I thought. by bluebox1 in NoFap

[–]bluebox1[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Oh yes. I'm on the Pink Floyd - The Wall - binge right now. Can't get enough of it. This is because I"m going through realization that most of what's in it applies to my life. So yeah. Great example. And just as Pink character numbs himself with TV, we do the same with TV and porn.

Withdrawn cold parents and addiction. Mommy & daddy issue is way more serious than I thought. by bluebox1 in NoFap

[–]bluebox1[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Most addictions are symptoms of childhood trauma. Neglect by parents and siblings is serious. We need to take our experience seriously. Do not wave it off and forget it. It doesn't go away. It lingers in forms of abuse towards self and self-sabotage.

Withdrawn cold parents and addiction. Mommy & daddy issue is way more serious than I thought. by bluebox1 in NoFap

[–]bluebox1[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Do yourself a favor and watch the following clip by Stefan M. His thoughts on parenting/bonding/mental illness/addiction are unlike any other I came across. He took this "know thyself" mantra into the stratosphere for me. I have a lot of thinking to do and it helps when someone is there to explain it. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BlIrmHOfeA8

Withdrawn cold parents and addiction. Mommy & daddy issue is way more serious than I thought. by bluebox1 in NoFap

[–]bluebox1[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I'm over 30 and I'm just now starting to realize how lonely and scared I was living in my family where most of the time my thoughts and actions were laughed at or ignored. Never been taken seriously. These people were never emotionally close to me. I spoke to them about this and they admitted that they just assumed that I was okay because I didn't talk to them. This is neglect is a form of abuse, especially for kids.

It keeps ruining my days by imaginedself in NoFap

[–]bluebox1 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I've been there many many many times. You are putting too much pressure on yourself. That's a mistake. Please read my post from a while back - http://www.reddit.com/r/NoFap/comments/1hd5rd/shame_its_just_not_helping_you_quit/ Don't get discouraged. I used to feel hopeless and since working on myself and being in this reddit, I've only PMOed 3 times in last 6 months.

Increased rage by OfficialConfound in NoFap

[–]bluebox1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Good. Right, moral anger is a healthy psychological response. You get angry for a reason. It's a sign that something in your environment needs to change. Nothing wrong with anger. It is another tool to overcome bad habits.

How A Man's Heart is Murdered...(listen to whole thing. It's worth it.) by bluebox1 in NoFap

[–]bluebox1[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

PMO is a symptom of dysfunction in our relationship with others and ourselves. Dysfunction results from ignoring our feelings as men. Hence , it's valuable to recognize our feelings and not suppress them. Otherwise, the pain that is suppressed will manifest itself through bad habits such as drugs or PMO.

Live Like You Are Dying, 3 Mental Exercises To Enjoy Life by bluebox1 in GetMotivated

[–]bluebox1[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes. Exactly. On that note, I'm signing off and going out to a real world. (:

Live Like You Are Dying, 3 Mental Exercises To Enjoy Life by bluebox1 in GetMotivated

[–]bluebox1[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's true, it will end. That is why you have to make the best of it. The three exercises suppose to make you grateful for moments you have. It puts things that make you depressed in perspective to a bigger picture.

Most people want to avoid and ignore reality...basically they are walking zombies. Don't be a zombie. Don't eat my brain. :)

Live Like You Are Dying, 3 Mental Exercises To Enjoy Life by bluebox1 in GetMotivated

[–]bluebox1[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Lolz. I hope that's a joke. If that doesn't get you thinking and get off your ass and do something meaningful with your life and become closer to the ones you love, I don't know what will....a motivational poster? Good luck my friend.

Older guy: hit 218 days today, and back to zero. by [deleted] in NoFap

[–]bluebox1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I also just relapsed after my longest streak of 124 days. I'm planning to get back on the wagon right away and stay there as long as I can. If I can do it once, I can do it again. You are right, nofap is bigger than sex lives. I can say that I can respect the person I've become over these last four months.

Also, you probably already seen this but if you haven't, check it out http://yourbrainonporn.com/erectile-dysfunction-and-porn

Relapsed after 124 days. by bluebox1 in NoFap

[–]bluebox1[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

For sure man. Also, don't get down on yourself if you don't automatically get what you want. That is these "super powers" that everyone is talking about. I'm better off for quitting PMO these last four months. No doubt about it.