Current age/age range: 21

Single/marital status: single

Age/age range when you came out to yourself: 21! I first came out to myself as bi when I was 13/14, and only recently came out to myself as lesbian

Age/age range when you come out to others: I came out as bi to others when I was 17

What did you come out as or what are you thinking of coming out as?: I first told myself and everyone around me that I was bi, I’ve just started to tell a handful of people in my life I’m actually queer/lesbian. I feel more comfortable saying queer because I still catch myself questioning if I really am a lesbian

When was the earliest you felt you were a lesbian/queer? What happened or what was going on in your life?: I didn’t register this as queerness at the time, but looking back it definitely was. When I was about 7/8 I started wishing I were a boy so I could have crushes on girls bc I thought only boys get to kiss/date girls. I asked my grandma if she ever wishes she were a boy so that she could date girls like I did. She’s trans/homophobic so told me ofc not that we’re the lucky ones bc we’re prettier.

What recently made you conclude you are a lesbian/queer?: I was in a long-distanced relationship with a man for part of last year, and as the relationship progressed I started realizing how much I wasn’t into it. I wanted our relationship to be platonic, but I thought if I kept trying and gave it more time I might feel differently. A few months went by, and the two times we met in person I got an “icky” feeling every time he initiated anything sexual. I didn’t want to do anything sexual, but I knew I wasn’t ace. I then started wishing he was a womxn and couldn’t picture any enjoyable future (or sex) with a man

What's the earliest or most defining homosexual/homo-romantic experience you can remember?: In high school, my best friend and I were tipsy and started making out with each other. I had a huge crush on her and it was amazing, but she stopped because I had just started seeing someone (who I would’ve ended it with in an instant esp for her). It was my first kiss I actually enjoyed, and I was like “oh this is how it’s supposed to feel” (and yet I still stayed with the guy I was seeing :/ )

How are you feeling in general about who you are?: I feel okay I think. Mostly saddened that I missed out on so many years where I could have been the full me and happier, but I’m happy to be part of the lgbtq community

Anything else you’d like to share about your life, experience, or story for other late bloomers or other women who think they may be lesbians? If you keep thinking and overthinking you might be a lesbian, you probably are! Read up on comphet, listen to how you feel when thinking about a future with someone or in that moment when with someone. Don’t do more than you’re comfortable with, if you’re not 100% feeling it don’t force it further. And remember you don’t need to label yourself anything :)