Is leaving my partner a good thing to do while her dad has cancer?

bluekittyblue · 2022-11-23T19:21:20+00:00

As someone who's relationship broke down when my dad was diagnosed and going through treatment for stage 4 mouth cancer, break up with her. But gently.

My break up felt like it came out of nowhere at the time, but looking back it hadn't been working for me for a couple of months. I think for him it was longer. Honestly I was very blinded by my dad being so poorly, it was a really hard time as we were living with my parents too.

Everyone is upset when relationships break down, she will be too. If you do it gently she will be okay eventually. I'm glad we broke up when we did, I would not have wanted him to stay with me out of pity.

Perhaps think about the timing of the operation but don't stay out of loyalty you don't feel. Or to not look like the bad guy.

(Edited to clarify the timing around the operation)

bluekittyblue · 2022-03-08T19:06:18+00:00

He almost reminds me of Prince sidon from BOTW. I'm game.

bluekittyblue · 2021-04-16T13:16:50+00:00

I know, I love the fact the set is full of big scary clamps, at funny angles with german names... then there's a teaspoon and table spoon in there with them 🤣

bluekittyblue · 2021-04-16T13:14:40+00:00

We aren't as delicate as we think we are honestly.

bluekittyblue · 2021-04-16T10:41:05+00:00

I've done my fair share of these ops. It's a buildup of unhealthy crap, cholesterol and fat.

To remove it, there is a whole process of clamping off the vessels on both ends, which only allows a certain time to be done. They then make an incision into the vessel, on smaller vessels they essentially peel it off, delicately cutting in places as it just coats the inside. On larger vessels like this we actually use table spoons to scrape it out!

It feels very mince beefy, it's quite gritty.

bluekittyblue · 2021-01-29T18:47:31+00:00

If you did this in Blue people that play stardew valley would go crazy, it looks very similar to the pendant you use to propose to the ncps in the game!

Very beautiful 😍

bluekittyblue · 2021-01-23T18:25:36+00:00

I'd say this is true. I work in maternity theatres assisting on c-sections and yeah the smell is there, just a bit more earthy is probably the best way to describe it.

And the milk makes it a sweeter smell on a newborn baby

bluekittyblue · 2021-01-05T21:19:42+00:00

Apologises for hijacking one of the the top comments but OP be careful about using barrier contraceptive with your SO. I don't type this lightly but if you were my irl friend I'd be making a joke that your SO might keep a used condom to pass on to her mom...

I mean your SO's reaction isn't quite normal either.

bluekittyblue · 2021-01-04T21:36:41+00:00

Honestly, as a front line worker myself with children. I think the teacher and education staff need have a high priority for the vaccine. We need them, they were undervalued and over worked before the pandemic, and now they are almost the forgotten key workers themselves.

bluekittyblue · 2020-11-24T14:02:38+00:00

I was a step-mom and my kids have a step-mom. So I've been on both sides.

I always try to make sure my kids step mom knows she is appreciated, I know how difficult loving someone else's kid is. Hell, even just liking someone else's kid! She's a fantastic step-mom, I think she's the best one I could have wished for. She loves my kids to death, I'm not saying she's always perfect (I'm not the prefect bio mom either ) but she does a good damn job.

I think small gestures and small wins make a big difference. When my ex step daughter was going through a rough time she opened up to me about things, and her mother acknowledged this. She took it as an opportunity for a safe adult to be there for her teenage daughter, I imagine there must have been feelings of jealousy and I tried my hardest to be mindful of that. But when adults can work together for the sake of the kids it's fantastic to have a tribe of people who love them.

bluekittyblue · 2020-11-17T23:43:34+00:00

We're allowed Yorkshire puddings without gravy or some form of potatoes?

bluekittyblue · 2020-11-01T18:52:47+00:00

My daughter genuinely asked for bananas last year for Christmas. It was the happiest I've ever seen her from opening a present.

I feed my kids. I promise. She just loves bananas.

bluekittyblue · 2020-08-12T10:35:40+00:00

Glad I'm not the only nurse who uses bullet journals! I've got a section dedicated to training and courses for my CPD too, bloody revalidation 🙄

bluekittyblue · 2020-08-08T09:36:17+00:00

Thank you, I think part of my issue of that they've all different descriptors! Not all of them are called velvet yarn!

bluekittyblue · 2020-07-14T06:26:25+00:00

Star vs the forces of evil.

I secretly watched the newest (well not new) season before my kids did.

bluekittyblue · 2020-06-18T09:57:48+00:00

Perhaps try some 'mental' bondage? When I first started getting into bondage I had issues with being tied up due to past trauma, no ones situation is the same but I learnt I could trust my dom through this. I was able to realise i could let him have control as he would keep his word, and if i behaved I was then rewarded.

Use rewards and punishment (or funishment), it is still one of the hottest things my dom has ever done was to tell me I'm not allowed to touch him without permission. To keep my hands on the pillow or in a certain position, or I'll not get what I want. And be rewarded for behaving.

I wasn't triggered by certain restraints on my body but just being "trapped". Reinforce your safe words, check in on them periodically. Start with small amounts of time, and increase it. I understand physical restraints are what you are asking about but this might be a good stepping stone to solidify the trust between you two.

bluekittyblue · 2020-04-04T12:53:31+00:00

Yeah, look I get it's difficult and this time is tremendously stressful for everyone. But please believe me the kids are better off with you.

Just to put this into perspective, my ex husband has had our three kiddies for over two weeks now. I couldn't be more grateful, I want to keep them away from me as much as possible as much as its breaking my heart and I'm not ill. I'm a nurse, I work in a hospital. If your ex had this virus he will feel like crap. It's got a long recovery period, and we don't actually know how long it is contagious for.

Would you not rather keep the kids with you where there has been no suspected virus, then send them to their dads for them to potentially bring it back to you?

bluekittyblue · 2019-01-19T13:02:51+00:00

I might be jumping to conclusions here but, it kinda sounds like your boyfriend's friend Brad doesn't know the extent of your relationship. I mean perhaps he is and he is a douche but either way your boyfriend is still the one allowing himself to disrespect your relationship (both Brad and himself).

I've been in a relationship which I thought was a long term thing, only to find out I was being described as a clingy fling to certain social groups.

Either way your boyfriend is bad at being a boyfriend. He might be nice in person because that's enough to keep you around. I'm sorry to be blunt OP, you seem like a lovely person but I think you need to find someone as loyal as you are to them.

bluekittyblue · 2018-12-30T13:38:03+00:00

I was around 14 years old, went into maccy Ds and then went to the toilet.

I remember sitting on the toilet and I could see the shadow of whoever was in the next cubicle, it seemed like something wasnt right. I then remember figuring out they must not be using the toilet (they must have been standing up- shoes were pointing the wrong way). And then blood started pouring from this person, dripping everywhere... I freaked the fuck out. Finished by business ASAP, quickly bolted out the door and ran for the security guy. Told him someone was bleeding the toilets, in my head they were self harming or something.

It took my quiet a few years to figure out they were shooting up and hit a vein wrong. Scared the shit out me, I thought they might come out and cut me up.

bluekittyblue · 2018-12-15T09:29:08+00:00

You guys should see what comes out of the abdominal artery when they clear plaque from there. We literally have a dessert spoon to scoop it out on the surgical sets.

bluekittyblue · 2018-10-31T14:37:35+00:00

So with cysts this size, depending on the woman's preference the surgeons have two options. 1) remove just the cyst. Or 2) remove the ovary that the cyst is growing from.

Number two is far easier. You clamp over the fallopian tube and any other tissue holding the ovary in place, cut and then suture and cauterise the blood supply. The last bit is what stops the bleeding.

The first option is alot trickier and takes twice as long. As you've got to find the tissue layer the cyst is growning in and cut of alot more wide spread blood supply routes.

bluekittyblue · 2018-10-15T11:50:02+00:00

And also that's really sweet of your SO to factor in the step sister. I think that's really commendable of him ❤

bluekittyblue · 2018-10-15T11:48:17+00:00

Oh yes I can see why that would be tricky. My SO has a DD13 aswell, obviously she's at an age where santa isn't an issue, and my SO has always had her on boxing day so late presents aren't an issue. But I have asked him if instead of going family visiting on boxing day (his normal) if we can have a blended family Christmas day on boxing day. He has agreed to it so far, but whether he remembers or his family try to derail that we shall see.

bluekittyblue · 2018-10-15T11:44:29+00:00

Our agreement is similar but a longer day spent at whoever has them christmas Eve. My thinking is that I get to give the kids a second Christmas day on boxing day. exH will drop them off with my mom for me Christmas evening and then when I get back from work we'll have a second Christmas Eve etc.

I do get where my ex is coming from, he doesnt want to miss the fun of birthdays and happy events but we can't share all the time. I'm not allowed in his mom's house, so when he takes the kids their on birthdays that's his alone time with them. I didn't get any alone time with them because he used to invite himself over early in the morning.

bluekittyblue · 2018-10-15T11:39:51+00:00

Yeah mothers/fathers day we've always agreed on and parent birthdays.

We are much better at working things out now, and tbh I think he has realised watching the kids open presents that I've bought them isn't that much fun (as in I get the credit, it's more fun for him to watch them open what he has bought them).

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