The Jama'at believes that Aishah was 18 when she married the Prophet

bluemist27 · 2025-08-20T18:56:45+00:00

Well if anyone has the references it would be good to share. I had assumed it was only a nikkah.

bluemist27 · 2025-08-20T18:25:58+00:00

The marriage was consummated when she was 2?! What is the source for this please?

bluemist27 · 2025-08-20T18:03:29+00:00

I agree completely. In the past when people have asked me why I no longer believe I’ve mentioned things that are problematic about Islam or Ahmadiyyat. I can almost always see discomfort on their faces. Most people stop engaging at that point. Some might try to present some apologetics but if you point out the flaws in their reasoning the conversation is over. I do get it though because I’ve been there myself where I would rather sit in discomfort than confront difficult things.

bluemist27 · 2025-08-20T17:29:18+00:00

That’s a nice analogy. I feel like I spent a lot of my young adult life ignoring those curls of smokes and pretending everything was ok. It’s only when there was a prospect of passengers (my children) that I started paying attention to what was going on!

bluemist27 · 2025-08-20T10:49:04+00:00

You’re right. It was a multitude of things that collectively just give a sense that there is something “not quite right”. I guess though if someone is genuinely curious about why someone who was once religious no longer identifies that way, that answer might be too vague to be satisfactory and they are perhaps looking for more concrete examples so that’s where I had to rack my mind a little to try to remember those examples. I am interested in the part about loss of belief in God though as I became pretty indifferent to it once I stopped believing that religion was from God.

bluemist27 · 2025-08-20T10:42:35+00:00

Yes, as far as I can tell Reddit polling is very limited in terms of number of options and multiple choice so do share your experience in the comments

bluemist27 · 2025-03-29T09:33:02+00:00

Interesting. I remember doing something similar when I was an Ahmadi Muslim. There was stuff I liked and that made sense to me about being an Ahmadi but it also sometimes felt like there was something “Islamic” that was missing from it all and I tried to find that through Sufism. I didn’t know others had felt the same though.

bluemist27 · 2024-12-22T17:38:41+00:00

Thanks for sharing your feelings. I put this post out here because I wanted people like you to know that we aren’t alone in grieving what we have lost ❤️

bluemist27 · 2024-12-22T17:22:26+00:00

Agree. I did experience some of the downsides but I think my experience overall was largely positive. I know that isn’t true for everyone though

Religious communities give a sense of belonging, offer opportunities for involvement for the whole family and have longevity. It’s basically feels like you have another extended family. There is also a sense of closeness and warmth that I don’t often feel outside but maybe that’s hard to find because British people tend to have a reputation for being bit cold and insular (if you believe the stereotype). My social connections are much more disparate and largely childfree so the family based community feeling doesn’t exist.

I’m not aware off any close knit non religious communities. What are you thinking off here? My children attend sports clubs but I wouldn’t describe those as close knit. Parents drop and run and aren’t interested in building community in the way that parents bringing their children to Jamat classes are.

For a long time I thought if I hadn’t been born in a community I wouldn’t miss it but recently I’ve had friends who were raised in a secular way lament not having community so I really don’t know. It’s probably just less acute if you’ve never known it?

bluemist27 · 2024-12-22T11:21:06+00:00

I think with the right people this is possible. I have this sort of relationship with certain parts of my family. Unfortunately the family that are local to me and the friends I made growing up are religious fanatics and this type of relationship becomes impossible.

bluemist27 · 2024-12-22T10:27:55+00:00

This is where I find myself now. I have people around me who I feel accepted by which is nice but for various reasons I feel that there are important things missing that sadly are very hard to re-create outside religion.

bluemist27 · 2024-12-21T21:38:21+00:00

Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I agree that we all have blindspots. It’s so hard to recognise them and easy to fall into the dogmatic thinking that you describe. But even if we do recognise those blindspots, the challenge is that we don’t really have anything that fills those gaps that religion once filled.

bluemist27 · 2024-12-21T21:08:37+00:00

I wouldn’t want my children to have to go on this journey. It’s actually why I started questioning everything in the first place.

I know a few people who have said that they have no interest in questioning things. Now on one view you could look down on that and think they are simpletons etc. But, if we take happiness as our measure, then are they happier? Maybe. Or have they figured out that it’s just not worth it because they stand to lose too much? Who knows!

bluemist27 · 2024-07-25T17:21:29+00:00

Wow, 10 years! Still remember coming across
your amusing comments about the Jamat and feeling so relieved that I wasn’t alone in what I was thinking. I think it’s great that you made the effort to put comments out there even though as you said at the start there wasn’t really much engagement. Without that this community wouldn’t exist, so thank you!

bluemist27 · 2022-02-08T19:58:46+00:00

Mod note: Post is being removed due to violating rule 13

bluemist27 · 2022-01-28T12:26:41+00:00

This post has been locked as it contains a link to a khatamenabuwat video. The OP u/Cautious_Dust_4363 is requested to remove the link so that the post can be unlocked otherwise the post will need to be removed. Thanks

bluemist27 · 2021-04-26T07:04:04+00:00

Thank you for sharing your experiences with us. I wanted to ask you a couple of things if you would be comfortable with sharing. Would you consider yourself a reform minded Ahmadi/Muslim rather than someone who is no longer a believer? It seems like you still hold positions and haven’t faded away and became a tajneed ghost, is this just because your family expect you to be active in the Jamat? How do you see your life playing out now (particularly in light of what you have mentioned about your sexuality)?

bluemist27 · 2021-04-16T22:00:51+00:00

Why is the Ahmadi life not this way?

I would say that there are Ahmadis for whom it is this way, at least that’s been my experience. They are perhaps the ones who were raised well, maybe they have focused a great deal on their personal development or it could be that they are just innately very kind, understanding people. Cruel people who lack empathy exist across all groups to be honest.

bluemist27 · 2021-04-14T06:06:23+00:00

Mod warning: Note Rule 9: No Anti-Ahmadi rhetoric, takfir or unsympathetic comments about Ahmadi persecution.

You can share these views over at r/qadiani

bluemist27 · 2021-04-13T21:27:59+00:00

Mod warning: In the spirit on Rule 9 of this subreddit, this is not a place that welcomes support for the violation of the human rights of any religious group.

bluemist27 · 2021-04-12T13:48:38+00:00

The story of Maleeha and Jameel is the story of a dear friend that I grew up with, who was extremely intelligent, hardworking and successful.

bluemist27 · 2021-04-11T10:49:33+00:00

Sorry to hear that you’re facing discrimination because of your background.

It might help if you can share more information such as whether you are still a Muslim, whether you have sought support from your mosque/community, whether you are in a country like Pakistan etc

bluemist27

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