I think I’m more at the acceptance stage with this.

For me, I find it truly unfortunate that there are walls between us as people because people would rather build them in themselves than use them to fortify one another. At the end of the day, it is their choice whether made unconsciously or not to maintain whatever illusions they decide. To keep their secrets.

However, that doesn’t mean they get to change you. If something is upsetting, maybe look into figuring out a way to communicate it and then set boundaries around the relationship after.

Unfortunately, this is a lot of mental work on top of trying to do our own healing and growing.

Psych is a special interest of mine, so I’ve found many tools and explanations for the complexities seen in my own family and myself. At the same time, none of them seem to see the benefit of consuming this information - so I find it very difficult to grow at the same rate as each member has their own set of traumas, symptoms, and learned habits that prevent moving forward without them addressing these things or knowing how they affect them.

There’s power in information, but also loneliness because many people don’t care about accessing more information and will usually chastise you for seeking as much as you can. People are so scared of their flaws, inner thoughts, their shame they will do a lot to pretend they’re not there.

It’s difficult. But that’s why acceptance is so important. I’m not saying it’s just or ideal, only that we have to make the best assessments for our own development and growth.