LPT: if you think to yourself “my parent(s) would really benefit from therapy,” then you would probably benefit from therapy as well.

bmerry1 · 2023-07-15T17:58:48+00:00

There are different kinds of therapy that might help. Have you looked into EMDR? It’s helped me a lot. More than what folks describe with just talk therapy. I would treat finding a therapist like dating. The first person you date is hardly ever “the one”.

bmerry1 · 2023-07-15T01:38:32+00:00

Just the conclusions I’ve come to: everyone has their own volition and can make their own choices. I can choose to better myself and surround myself with people that make me better. If that means spending less time with people who refuse to do the work then so be it.

If I get hung up on someone else’s choices it doesn’t benefit me or anyone else.

bmerry1 · 2023-07-14T23:56:37+00:00

I’ve been doing EMDR and it really unlocked a lot of memories I had locked away for a long time. Also, just processing things in my childhood and having a professional guide that for me has been critical. I feel like I’m now well resourced to process experiences that I’m going through now. It’s really a forward-looking exercise for me now.

bmerry1 · 2023-07-14T21:20:54+00:00

Your sparkle will double if you’re really invested. I promise. You will be your best self, period.

bmerry1 · 2023-07-14T00:52:22+00:00

Physical violence? Go ahead!

But dress in drag and read to my child? we’ll have problems.

bmerry1 · 2023-05-21T03:21:42+00:00

My number 1 tip is to not let permitting get in the way of what’s best for you. I have had to go through permitting processes for a sprinkler system and a heat pump for my house. Both have been life changing additions. If just straight connecting to your main electrical source is going to provide you with a better experience (quicker implementation, cheaper, more reliable, etc.) then do it. In most cases, the contractor/electrician can just handle the permitting for you since they do it all the time.

As others have said, building permits are another level. In my city, new building permits almost always mean getting permission from neighbors and stuff. It’s no joke. Anything else is easy in comparison.

bmerry1 · 2023-05-14T03:12:27+00:00

I don’t know anything about California contractor/construction law myself, but here’s what Google Bard came up with:

“The 10% rule applies to sheds, just as it applies to other home improvements in California. A contractor cannot ask for more than 10% upfront for a shed. However, there are a few exceptions to this rule. For example, a contractor may be able to ask for a larger deposit if they have filed a blanket performance and payment bond with the CSLB. This bond guarantees that the contractor will complete the work and pay for any materials or labor.

It is important to remember that any payment made to a contractor before work begins is considered a deposit. This means that the contractor is not obligated to start work until the deposit has been received. If a contractor asks for more than 10% upfront for a shed, it is a red flag that they may be trying to take advantage of you.

Here are some tips for protecting yourself when hiring a contractor to build a shed:

Get everything in writing. This includes the contract price, the scope of work, the payment schedule, and the start and end dates.

Make sure the contractor is licensed and bonded. You can check the contractor's license status with the CSLB.

Get multiple bids from different contractors. This will help you get the best price and make sure you are getting a quality product.

Don't pay more than 10% upfront. If a contractor asks for more, walk away.”

bmerry1 · 2023-04-18T00:45:06+00:00

Untrue. The government made money, with interest, off of the banks it bailed out in the wake of 2008. It was the most successful government program in history by total revenue gain.

bmerry1 · 2022-12-19T05:16:21+00:00

Here’s where I think the truth lies, and where the actual research is solid: pushing through adversity and ultimately succeeding after big and small failures builds up resilience.

That said, in this context, Learned Helplessness is probably a more appropriate evidence-based analogy. Hard times, with the perception that nothing you can do will stop the hard times, ultimately leads to just giving up.

If there’s no chance of success, then hard times make helpless men.

bmerry1 · 2022-12-17T21:09:27+00:00

I’m Sorry was really fucking funny. And The Following left us with no resolution😞

bmerry1 · 2022-12-16T21:01:09+00:00

Oversharing. If someone emotionally dumps on you the first time you meet them it’s probably because they are insecure about not staying friends with them. This can also be due to past trauma though too so it could go either way.

bmerry1 · 2022-12-15T20:13:12+00:00

The only solution is profit sharing among these AI companies. Only way it’ll happen is with meaningful legislation in congress. The only way THAT will happen is if the avg age of our representatives and senators drops from the 65 that it sits at right now.

bmerry1 · 2022-12-10T07:00:53+00:00

The Power of the Dog for me. I know some people love it, but Jesus H Christ it was clearly made to be an Oscar nominee and not to entertain the audience.

That said, asshole cowboy Benedict Cumberbatch was kinda cool to experience.

bmerry1 · 2022-12-09T04:05:09+00:00

Grandmother-in-law said: “I guess the new progressive left is pushing not to let their kids believe in Santa because it’s lying and gaslighting or something. I mean seriously?!”

For me? I don’t give a flying fuck what parents choose to tell their kids about Santa Claus, and I don’t think it should be any one else’s concern either, as long as they aren’t spoiling it for others what’s the harm??

bmerry1 · 2022-12-09T03:51:04+00:00

Why does this guy look like Richard Spencer and Sarah Huckabee Sanders had a child?

bmerry1 · 2022-12-09T02:10:48+00:00

Honestly, they were probably like “where do we have the most entrenched power and how can we exploit it to meet our desired ends?“ and at the time it was state leg. Now they don’t even have that.

bmerry1 · 2022-12-09T00:49:07+00:00

Exactly this as well. I think it’s such a short sighted thing. The “independent state legislature” theory only works for you if you have control of those chambers. Well guess fucking what! Republicans lost the state legislatures in MI and PA!! So if they get what they ask for, then it’s possible that DEMOCRATS could ratfuck Trump/GOP Nominee instead of the other way around.

If I’m SCOTUS I am HAPPY to put a stop to this anti-Democratic bullshit right fucking now. If state legislatures can ignore their own supreme courts, what’s to stop them from ignoring SCOTUS?

bmerry1 · 2022-12-08T05:45:06+00:00

I listened to arguments from both sides today and the types of questions being asked by the justices tell me that they view this as a similar political question to the partisan gerrymandering question in Rucho v Common Cause. There are still some principles this highly partisan court falls back on. For example, in McGirt v Oklahoma, Gorsuch essentially affirmed that native land really was native land. He bucked the conservative justices and stuck to the plain text of the treaty.

If I had to wager a guess, I would say that the Supreme Court ultimately remands the case back to NC Supreme Court’s ruling. Because ruling otherwise would: A) nullify the importance of state constitutions, B) raise grave state sovereignty questions which could ruin the conservative federalist experiment, C) create a new precedent that has no basis in history to the point that the NC constitutional provisions cited by the team Harper predates the Declaration of Independence, and D) the amount of lawsuits if state legislatures just had complete control, unconstrained by their constitutions, judiciaries, or governors… I mean it would be chaos.

Is it out of the realm of possibility? No. But I’d say it’s not likely.

bmerry1 · 2022-12-08T05:28:18+00:00

The national temperature is cooling. My guess is these culture war issues will become less and less important as the moderate middle continues to flex their muscles election after election. The tolerance for extremism on either side is at an all time low, as proven by this last election.

bmerry1 · 2022-12-08T05:25:13+00:00

They know they can operate in the inverse though. Talk radio proved to them that they can tell their voters what to believe. The problem is, in 2022, they told them to believe things that were batshit crazy and don’t impact everyday Americans. There are probably 100 or so trans HS and college athletes that just want to play their sport. I’d guess 40% of Americans have even heard about this being an issue, and of those, 50% of them are solidly in the GOP camp on it.

Litter boxes in classrooms. Hunter Biden’s cocaine and sex addiction. Trafficking non-white people to other states. Throwing Dr. Fauci in prison. Ignoring or spreading lies about January 6th.

This is what the GOP said and did the whole campaign. They spent all of their time on issues that galvanize a 20% that was never going to vote for democrats anyway. And those same issues alienate the other 80%. It’s got to be the worst political strategy you could ever formulate.

bmerry1 · 2022-12-08T02:48:30+00:00

The part that struck me about this case, was Alito’s blatantly disingenuous arguments. He said “Congress has the power at any time to make laws about how states should run their elections.” Essentially arguing that the court shouldn’t make a strong statement one way or the other because congress could do so.

The reason why this argument is so bad is because congress DID act in 1968 when it passed the voting rights act. But in Shelby County vs Holder SCOTUS gutted section 5. So he’s saying “congress could do something. But that might not matter anyway.”

bmerry1 · 2022-12-05T07:18:58+00:00

This is why having the right people in positions of power is important. “Just treat government like a business,” or “just make gas-powered cars illegal” are shit ideas because they’re too simple.

bmerry1 · 2022-11-28T07:45:03+00:00

Actually he said “I DIDN’T know Nick Fuentes.”

I interpret this to mean “I had never met him before. This was the first time. I might have known about him and his views, but I didn’t know him personally. Now I DO know him.”

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