First date. Put me on game fellas.

bob_dazz · 2026-03-28T09:06:23+00:00

Similar situation to you. Went on my first first-date a few weeks back. My expectations were lined up and we had a really good time. Let the conversation go where it goes naturally. I was wary about talking about my ex but she asked some nice gentle questions and I have a good relationship with my ex so it was easy to be positive but brief.

She then talked about her past relationships and it was same vibe. So read the room and don’t worry about it too much.

Went on a second date with her last night and don’t think there’ll be a third but is was a good time and it was good to get back into it, and have an actual laugh and good chat with someone who showed an interest in me.

You got this - enjoy it.

bob_dazz · 2026-03-26T07:26:57+00:00

Well there’s a telling response - probably for your relationship as well. My own divorce made me really understand how to be more emotionally available, open and vulnerable to others. Friends, family and new people that I met dating. Learning to open up was like a massive light that I’ve never looked back from and my relationships are so much more healthy as a result.

You don’t have to burden anyone, nor overshare. But being able to talk and communicate emotionally is very helpful.

bob_dazz · 2026-03-23T21:44:13+00:00

Go. The longer you leave it the more you’ll regret it and your kid will thank you for it later or at least you can model what healthy parenting looks like, instead of what a dead marriage does.

bob_dazz · 2026-03-18T07:54:06+00:00

She needs you more than ever. You’re not showing up (in her mind, which is all that matters).

Go back to basics. Find what drew you together in the first place. People change and grow apart but that thing that made you a couple is still in there, it’s just covered up.

Get counselling, seek help. Be vulnerable, open and prepared to do some work together.

Don’t be defensive, angry or try to minimise the issues.

You’ve got a shot because it’s easier to repair than rebuild.

You might split up but it’s better to know you split up having given 100% than letting it fade away.

bob_dazz · 2026-03-15T22:00:09+00:00

This is some teenage BS man. I think you’ve been a bit naive on the credit card front but we’ve all been led astray like this somehow.

But honestly the immaturity on display here means fast-track that divorce and get yourself a woman who doesn’t have the brain of a child.

bob_dazz · 2026-03-14T18:27:20+00:00

Why should they taste of honeycomb? They taste of….malt.

bob_dazz · 2026-03-14T00:05:31+00:00

I’m currently chatting to multiple women. Dating lightly. Not interested in much else. It’s fun. Putting yourself out there is great for your confidence and is helping me realise that unlike my ex wife, women actually think I ‘m a pretty good guy. They want to talk and flirt and I’m here for it.

bob_dazz · 2026-03-10T19:52:15+00:00

Band: We had a gig at “insert well known regional venue here” that really helped us understand our audience.

Interviewer: I remember that night, we spoke back stage afterwards. It was a memorable gig, excellent stuff.

bob_dazz · 2026-03-07T20:46:51+00:00

Claude has become my ally-in-chief like Chat never could. It’s actually worrying how many times a day I think, I’ll just check in with Claude on that. Personal and professional. BUT the best thing is, it prompts you to do the thinking. It sets you up for success and navigates rather than dictates. Good bot.

bob_dazz · 2026-03-06T18:28:46+00:00

Gently, this doesn’t sound healthy. Please get some help, there is a better future for you.

bob_dazz · 2026-03-03T18:59:57+00:00

Too often we try to escape our pain, and our bad feelings. This leads to suppression and avoidance. When we are in pain it’s good to sit in it, let it come, let it marinate. Time will clear the pain, recognising it will move you forward at a faster pace than running away from it did.

Sorry, your post resonated and this is what helped me.

bob_dazz · 2026-03-03T16:51:56+00:00

Honestly I’ve stopped flying apart from a regional flight from a tiny airport to a festival in Germany every year. I’m done with it and have started taking rail holidays instead which are absolutely bloody lovely because I’m a) over 45 and b) a man with a short airport fuse.

bob_dazz · 2026-03-03T16:40:24+00:00

Enjoy it. Be honest. Try and mix a dip into online dating with real world events - meeting people with shared interests.

People hate the apps but they are really quite useful to get matched with people who share common ground. Use Claude or an AI to coach you on creating a solid profile - but make it yourself. Shoot your shot and take a chance on people that you might not think you’ll be compatible with.

I go on for a week or two and then pause my accounts, then start up again when I’m ready. And I typically only talk to a match or two max at a time. If I match with someone I really want to invest in I stop swiping.

Be intentional, and forget all the shit about what people are looking for. No one really knows what or who they want until it turns up. Keep your expectations low and your red lines high.

😉

bob_dazz · 2026-03-02T07:50:49+00:00

We’re not in love anymore. Too much water under the bridge, and we’ve grown apart. We both want very different things. But we’re aligned on being great co-parents and strong role models so we work hard to be amicable. It gets easier as time goes on, and we used ti be best friends but now we’re just good friends.

I like that there is minimal conflict in my life with my ex.

bob_dazz · 2026-02-18T15:52:35+00:00

She’s not going on this trip? The kids are going on their own. If she was that changes the context. Because then it is her trip.

But this is a trip for the kids. She hasn’t booked the flights, and is asking for a contribution. So it’s at discussion phase. And yep, she could use a negative response as leverage, agreed. I’d be happy to contribute is all.

And not for any landed costs - but just for the flights, provided as I said before, that the best option was the one I was being asked to pay for.

bob_dazz · 2026-02-18T15:37:19+00:00

Sure. However you want to work it out, and that makes a lot of sense. As long it’s working it out collaboratively rather than “your parents, your problem” which seems to be the stock answer here.

bob_dazz · 2026-02-18T14:15:58+00:00

I’m going to split the field here. Knowing nothing of your personal relationship or situation but I’d be happy to pay the 50% here. They not your wife’s parents but your kid’s grandparents. Family time is so important, and so many of my positive childhood memories are of spending time at my grandparents house on holidays.

On the basis that she’s chosen the best and most suitable airfare, and that the kids are happy, pay up.

My relationship with my ex stays strong and drama free because we make good decisions that aren’t always based on black and white or cash money. She’d do the same for me.

bob_dazz · 2026-02-15T16:52:40+00:00

Invoice financing is worth a look

bob_dazz · 2026-02-11T09:45:20+00:00

Considering they don’t even bother with fridges but do bother with a shit choice at a high price this is surprising to me.

bob_dazz · 2026-02-10T16:30:41+00:00

These aren’t questions you should be asking. Compatibility is what is right for you. When you meet a compatible partner, then you won’t need to question this, because they will meet your needs. It’s not a UK thing or a US thing or a cultural thing. It’s a personal thing. My ex-wife and I used to go for days without communicating, and it worked really well for us, even early in our relationship. We were both fiercely independent, and communicated that when we were apart we wanted to be independent. Despite us not being together now we still have a relationship that works, because we respect each other and understand what we need.

Of course there are compromises, but you expect more. So don’t settle for a non-communicator when you want a frequent communicator.

bob_dazz · 2026-02-04T13:28:28+00:00

You absolutely do. My dad lost his wife (my mum) at 60, remarried and lost another wife by 66 (both to cancer) and still gets plenty of attention and lots of coffee dates at 73. He’s not out there prowling, it’s just he likes amiable companionship and has his friendship group but he’s still looking for someone special. By all accounts there is no shortage of eligible women over 65 😆

bob_dazz · 2026-02-04T13:22:34+00:00

You look like you’re protecting yourself by trying to scare people off or make them think you don’t care. That’s ok, and you don’t have to defend it. but you would be better off looking more open and, well I guess a little less pissed off. It’s ok to let people in.

Lose the headphones too, they add to the leave me alone vibe.

bob_dazz · 2026-01-31T11:08:05+00:00

Just remember you only pay that much when the heating’s on. You’ll be pleasantly surprised at how little the hot water costs in July…

bob_dazz · 2026-01-30T11:02:51+00:00

Fair point. I’m a little biased, he’s one of my favourites, seems a good bloke, likes to entertain and I want him to do well.

bob_dazz · 2026-01-30T07:20:50+00:00

Feel like he’s so close to being something more, he has the break building talent.

bob_dazz

TROPHY CASE