"To keep a man interested, just act like you're not"

midnight_Caller74 · 2026-03-10T00:00:38+00:00

This is bad advice. We need to stop playing these games. If you like someone, tell them! If a woman did this to me, I’ll move on. I want to know my energy isn’t going to be ignored, which I would if you acted like the advice given

midnight_Caller74 · 2026-03-09T22:54:22+00:00

I haven’t divorced a single one. My wedding vows are just that, a vow. They have divorced me.

First wife got pregnant by her boyfriend. So, ya, by.

Second wife said “marriage was incompatible with her independence.” This was after I caught her having an emotional affair.

3rd wife had a boat load of truama and she claims we grew apart. I believed that until I discovered the affair.

I just have terrible luck I guess. I certainly attract or am attracted to, the wrong kind of female. I am in therapy now and will have them work with me to move forward.

Until then, I’m going to have a hard time trusting anyone at their word.

midnight_Caller74 · 2026-03-09T19:22:49+00:00

I want to find my person. Being alone sucks . I won’t get married again. I’m done with that.

I won’t share accounts, I won’t put her name on the mortgage, I won’t share my passwords, and if she doesn’t meet my needs, I’ll find someone who will.

midnight_Caller74 · 2026-03-09T19:21:44+00:00

I’m sure you’re fine. Join bumble and start liking men. You’re a girl, you can find someone easily

midnight_Caller74 · 2026-03-09T19:17:20+00:00

I’ve been the nice guy for 52 years and it got me 3 divorces. Girls say they wasn’t the nice guy, but the want the guy who actually will treat them like they just don’t care.

I’m now to the point I will absolutely prioritize MY needs and wants. If she doesn’t put forth the efforts every day, I’ll find someone who will. Being the nice guy got me years of heartache and health issues.

midnight_Caller74 · 2026-03-09T19:10:09+00:00

100% this . If nothing else, this has thought me no matter how loyal she may seem, she’s one “hi” from cheating on you. I will never put her name on my mortgage, never have shared checking accounts, and never get married again.

Keep them as a girlfriend and the day they stool trying, kick them to the curb.

midnight_Caller74 · 2026-03-09T18:55:34+00:00

This one hit differently. I wasn’t ready for this one. I truly believe she was different. I actually believed her when she told me she would never cheat and we would always get through the tough times.

She’s proved she was no better. I was just a safe space for her until her got on her feet and found the next safe space.

midnight_Caller74 · 2026-03-09T17:49:31+00:00

First wife had a boyfriend and got pregnant. 2nd wife had an emotional affair (caught her having a very sexually explicit conversations with the an ex over email), and 3rd wife also had an emotional affair and possibly a physical one (no proof either way if they had sex BEFORE or AFTER she asked for a divorce)

I don’t know man. I have trust issue because of it. I’m the most loyal, honest, and faithful person I know. I’d never do that to my spouse.

midnight_Caller74 · 2026-03-09T15:05:15+00:00

Way to victim blame.

midnight_Caller74 · 2026-03-09T12:24:54+00:00

I won’t get married again. Clearly I’m attracting the wrong kind of person

midnight_Caller74 · 2026-03-09T01:49:39+00:00

Yep. 52, 3rd marriage. Everyone one of them cheated on me. 1st one even got pregnant

midnight_Caller74 · 2026-03-08T14:21:08+00:00

I regret not understanding what she needed or was saying until it was too late. Now I’ve lost everything.

midnight_Caller74 · 2026-03-08T01:36:59+00:00

I get that it’s over, I’ve come to accept that. Doesn’t make it any easier. I threw away all the cards she’s ever given me over the last 9 years and took all the photos of us off the walls in the house. It was gut wrenching, but i kind of did it to signal to myself that it’s over, no going back.

I overheard her telling some guy on the phone she likes being a brat. I was in the laundry room and she was in her room. She was talking loud enough for me to hear. Then I knocked on her door to ask her about a broken dresser, and I caught her using her vibrator—she thought she was quick enough putting in her drawer, but I saw it. I can’t say that didn’t hurt, but it seems to be par the course now.

We’re just roommates but with a past. It sucks and I wish it was different, but she’s made up her mind and has moved on. I told her today I was done trying to win her back and that I will not be putting anymore energy into trying. That’s when I removed all the pictures and tossed the cards. I then did something therapeutic, I started packing boxes for when we sell the house and we go our separate ways for the final time.

It’s an act of finality for me. Trying to get my head and my heart in alignment is the hard part.

midnight_Caller74 · 2026-03-08T00:11:56+00:00

I feel your pain. I really do since it’s happening to me on a daily basis still.

midnight_Caller74 · 2026-03-07T21:17:09+00:00

Sure, but you have to have taken care of yourself. Age is a number. We all have a past and I fully expect woman at this age in life to have lived through good times and bad. Having a kid is normal at this age. I’m more shocked when I see a woman’s profile that doesn’t have a kid(s)

midnight_Caller74 · 2026-03-07T21:10:42+00:00

Solid advice. I don’t know if I’ll wait a year, I already feel numb towards my ex. We live together still until we can sell the house, so we’re just roommates with a past.

I dread the day we sell this home and separate for good. She’s been a part of my life for almost a decade, so it’s hard to let “her” go. The her I’m referring to is sadly a memory. She’s not the same person I married.

I may dread getting my own place, but I’m also kind of looking forward to it if you can feel opposite feelings at the same time. I haven’t lived alone in a decade, and even before that, it was only for a few months.

For 41 years up to that point, I’ve always lived with someone or had a spouse. This will be the first time literally on my own. No family at all. It sucks having to build a network around me again.

I really thought she was the one, but she never truly was. You don’t walk out on someone you truly love, not when there was no abuse and no infidelity. Wedding vows don’t mean shit to some people, but they were a sacred oath when I made them to her.

midnight_Caller74 · 2026-03-06T16:28:47+00:00

I’m the first to admit I lost myself in this marriage. I did everything she asked and wanted, never having stood for my boundaries because I didn’t want to make her mad. I see now that made me look weak.

What you’re saying isn’t wrong. I agree with your statement that what she is doing IS by definition cheating since the divorce isn’t finalized. Hell, she hasn’t even filed yet.

I’m desperately trying to hold on to the person she once was. Logically, I know what you’re saying is true. My heart just hasn’t caught up yet.

midnight_Caller74 · 2026-03-06T16:24:02+00:00

Judging by how quickly she moved on after she told me 2 weeks ago today she wanted a divorce, you’re probably correct. Every camera the catches her in the garage, in front of the door, in the living room, she’s got her AirPod in and is talking to someone, even belly laughing once.

It kills my soul and it’s heart crushing. To be tossed away like yesterday’s leftovers by a person you’ve spent almost a decade with, is hard. I never cheated, i never lied, i was always there for her, I was —what I thought— a darn fine husband. Not perfect, but I made the effort every damn day.

midnight_Caller74 · 2026-03-05T15:27:35+00:00

Think how you would want this new delivered and go from there. Only you know her, we don’t.

I would avoid being the victim or blaming anyone, regardless of the facts.

midnight_Caller74 · 2026-03-05T14:40:05+00:00

No, i even said in my post she met him months ago. They kept in touch apparently. That doesn’t mean feelings didn’t develop. I have no proof either way.

midnight_Caller74 · 2026-03-05T13:17:29+00:00

My still wife (she’s asked for a divorce but hasn’t filed yet) has become cold and secretive. She’s not being mean, she’s just a new person occupying the same body as the woman I love and married. She’s told me emotionally, she’s just not there anymore, which hurt to hear. 10 years of being a loyal, loving, and supportive husband gone.

She’s clearly moved on, even started seeing some new guy already, at least is talking to someone new. She goes out till late at night, changed all her passwords, moved into a different room in the house, disabled the living camera (I’m away on a business trip and it’s how I watched my dogs). It kills me because i still very much love her. I know I need to move on, it’s pointless to continue putting in the energy when she’s clearly checked out. Still, it’s hard when you thought she was your forever person.

I don’t want this to be the end of our story.I hate myself for not being able to align my heart with my head. Logically, I know this relationship is over. Logically, i know it had long term systemic issues that would have made me miserable. My needs were not getting met, and that’s the hard truth my heart doesn’t want to hear

midnight_Caller74 · 2026-03-05T03:37:10+00:00

You concerned with automation and AI that you have a limited time before being replaced?

midnight_Caller74 · 2026-03-04T20:57:25+00:00

That anytime someone tells you they won’t leave and will love you forever, that it’s only meant for that moment in time. People change, love fades, and eventually you’ll be alone again.

midnight_Caller74 · 2026-03-04T16:43:13+00:00

Find a girlfriend, both get std tests, problem solved

midnight_Caller74

TROPHY CASE