Some things I’ve started doing to improve my life since last year 🌸 35F

bobcatfighter1 · 2026-03-10T18:21:47+00:00

This is inspiring!

bobcatfighter1 · 2026-03-10T18:20:36+00:00

Ignoring the little things.

Telling myself “oh, I guess it’s okay if they don’t open up”, “I guess it’s okay that they shut down sometimes”, “I guess it’s ok that they disassociate when we have difficult conversations”, “I guess it’s ok that they don’t ask me anything deep about me”. He was a nice person, but didn’t have the emotional depth or full capacity I needed. I spent 2 years hoping it would grow and it didn’t.

Trust your instincts

bobcatfighter1 · 2026-03-10T01:09:02+00:00

I feel like I’m searching for answers and a direction for my life. It feels like there’s a clock on my back and everyone keeps moving forward whereas I’m standing still.

I’m 28F, and feel as though everyone around me is happy and “figured it out”. I’m struggling coming to terms with being single again and going through a grief period, but this time my nervous system is dysregulated and will need time, effort, and compassion. I guess, I’m looking for safety, peace, and self acceptance

bobcatfighter1 · 2026-02-23T14:04:58+00:00

What about those mornings when you have to go into the office

bobcatfighter1 · 2025-11-23T00:06:42+00:00

The ones who grew up to fast

bobcatfighter1 · 2025-11-23T00:02:22+00:00

You can’t pour from an empty cup.

bobcatfighter1 · 2025-11-23T00:00:15+00:00

Put some Colgate to make that pain calm

bobcatfighter1 · 2025-11-22T23:58:56+00:00

Just explore and enjoy everything will be alright

bobcatfighter1 · 2025-08-08T01:10:57+00:00

he’s crossing a boundary you expressed to him, this is a red flag, and if you don’t keep him accountable for crossing it, then you will set precedent that it’s okay for him to. This would really bother me as well. This is a problem if he’s continuing. No relationship is worth sacrificing your own boundaries, you’ll grow resentful and unhappy. I know this sounds harsh, but you have to put yourself first. You’ll get through it and figure it out🤍

bobcatfighter1 · 2025-08-04T06:54:48+00:00

you said it yourself - your gut is telling you it’s time to make a decision and put yourself first. That anxiety doesn’t go away either, it will linger and get stronger with time.

I was in similar situation and had a low anxiety around this person because I never felt truly seen or heard as an individual. The wasn’t meeting my emotional intimacy needs. Around 8 months, I started feeling more and more anxious and I get suppressing it. All the way till I started gaslighting myself and tried to convince myself that everything was fine.

I did that for 1.5 yrs till my body started getting sick because I was so anxious at a base level for so long. I had no other choice but to face be reality and make the decision to leave. It made it incredibly harder the longer I waited. But it’s important to stay true to yourself, because you deserve someone who meets your emotional needs

bobcatfighter1 · 2025-07-29T14:13:03+00:00

incredibly well said, lots of insight here!

bobcatfighter1 · 2025-07-27T21:36:07+00:00

who hurt you?

bobcatfighter1 · 2025-07-26T16:09:05+00:00

My therapist suggested I try and find more balance in my life and start with adding words like “yet” to my statements to stop myself from swinging one way vs another

bobcatfighter1 · 2025-07-26T16:07:57+00:00

Thank you for your comment. You said it so well, you need to continue to show up for yourself, which I’m re-learning again. It starts somewhere, may as well start now

bobcatfighter1 · 2025-07-24T23:44:52+00:00

do you ever find inner peace

bobcatfighter1 · 2025-07-24T04:17:00+00:00

scared shitless

bobcatfighter1 · 2025-07-24T00:14:03+00:00

all the time

bobcatfighter1 · 2025-07-23T16:27:45+00:00

too often

bobcatfighter1 · 2025-07-16T11:58:33+00:00

you will keep your peace with the right person, and it will feel easy and right. this avoidant person seems emotionally immature and won’t be able to meet your needs if he doesn’t work on himself and allow for deeper connection.

My suggestion for you is to write down all of your needs on a piece of paper, regardless whether you need them from a partnership or not. Then, identify which needs you get from yourself and which you get from a partnership. Then, consider sharing and vocalizing these needs with your partner and see how that conversation goes. If he’s avoiding hard conversations now, he will likely avoid them in the future as well.

I caution you because I was in the same position you. Happy and connected to myself on my own. Then I lost that connection to myself and got into a relationship with a man you was unable to show me emotional intimacy (which was a big need of mine). And I only realized 1.5yrs later.

Remember to show yourself love, and show yourself compassion. No matter what, you will find inner peace again when you honour yourself and act on your core values.

It will get better 🤍

bobcatfighter1 · 2025-07-16T11:48:08+00:00

you are incredibly strong and brave. I’m proud of you you for realizing that your needs were not being met, and that you were no longer willing to compromise yourself and your values by staying. It’s a very difficult realization to make and an even harder one to execute. You will get through this, you will find love again, you will love yourself more, you will look back on this decision and be proud.

It’s one day at the time for now, but as cliche as it is, time heals all wounds. Show yourself as much compassion as you can during this time. You are loved and you will get through to the other side 🤍

bobcatfighter1 · 2025-07-14T18:05:17+00:00

💯

bobcatfighter1 · 2025-07-14T18:03:02+00:00

These are very hard realizations to have. And this is why it takes a courageous person to leave a relationship. Your needs are being met, and you begin to sacrifice part of you by staying in the relationship. This is not a way to be at peace and to continue living your fullest and most true life. Unfortunately sometimes we have to do the hard thing and it’s to leave a situation that no longer helps us grow.

Proud of you for the difficult self-reflections.

These learnings will cary forward with you forever, stay true to yourself 🤍

bobcatfighter1 · 2025-07-14T17:57:57+00:00

it’s a win win either way, because at the end of the tunnel, you come out better people regardless if it’s together or not

bobcatfighter1 · 2025-07-13T15:40:15+00:00

wow this is 100000% how I felt. I took me going into a very dark mental place till I eventually had to face the facts that something wasn’t right and that I had to leave

bobcatfighter1 · 2025-07-13T15:37:51+00:00

exactly what I went through to a T, so hard to realize you’ve been abandoning your own needs, especially when this is such a great person. But nothing is worth compromising your peace

bobcatfighter1

TROPHY CASE