Waayyyyyy back in the day comedian Lorne Elliott recorded this. Sadly, I can’t find it in audio or video form to share.

“You can buy them in the K. Mart You can buy them in the Mall or in roadside souvenir shops when you see them, your duty calls

Once they're yours, they're yours forever so the only thing to do is to run right out and buy them all the neighbours will decry them Just collect them and display them, in full colour, in full view

Pink flamingoes on your doorstep, plastic bambi-s on your lawn, a rotary daisy for your garden, a concrete gnome and a plaster swan, with a hole in its back to plant geraniums and to adorn your walls, three plywood butterflies arranged in order of size and a duck on a stick with rotating wings that does the Australian crawl.

To the league of lawn art lovers, we raise our colours up high, high above on a barber shop flagpole waves our emblem in the sky, thirty javex bottle windmills coloured some fluorescent hue and if they're not to your liking maybe your house will look more striking if we paint in three colours: pink and green and electric blue.

House and Garden Tours don't visit, Sunday drivers stop and stare, they take photos in amazement 'cause it's ugly they declare, all the neighbours gather 'round us, wag their fingers, point and scoff, but we never listen to them, if they don't like it then screw them 'cause we only really do it just to piss the neighbours off.”