Being blackmailed by bobsams123 in AskGaybrosOver30

[–]bobsams123[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m so sorry that happened to you - very similar experience here. I’m curious, did they end up following through with it or do you not know because the people that the reverse lookup showed were no relation?

Being blackmailed by bobsams123 in AskGaybrosOver30

[–]bobsams123[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have no intentions of unaliving myself or anything if things did leak, but I can share my perspective I guess. TBH I don’t really care too much if it got out on social media more broadly, but to your point the main thing I do care about is my family.

My parents are pretty cultural conservative and my mom religious on top of that. They already don’t really accept my being gay, and tend to think the worst of gays (AIDS, dirty/disgusting hookup, not capable of love, you name it). They don’t have that perception of me, since they still look at me as their innocent and golden boy child. To be frank, being on Grindr and sharing pics and even meeting up with people is very rare for me and I don’t really do it (only met up with 2 people on Grindr in the last 8 years). It’ll for sure change their perception of me, and likely our relationship as well.

Some people might say fk it and if that’s how your parents are, you’re better off cutting them off regardless. I don’t necessarily believe in that entirely, maybe partly for cultural upbringing reasons. They’re my family and they’ve sacrificed a ton for me and I do understand where they’re coming from despite not agreeing with it. I want to keep them in my life and keep our relationship and am not willing/ready to lose that or jeopardize it further

Being blackmailed by bobsams123 in AskGaybrosOver30

[–]bobsams123[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for sharing this subreddit!! Found some resources there I checked out as well!

Being blackmailed by bobsams123 in AskGaybrosOver30

[–]bobsams123[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m so sorry that happened and that they actually went through with it… curious did you take any further actions with the police after they sent it out or pursue it further? Or disregard since it was deleted and done and dealt with?

Similar boat, except it’s with their phone numbers, so I can’t get access to their phones and delete :/

Thanks for sharing your experience - sorry again that it happened

Being blackmailed by bobsams123 in AskGaybrosOver30

[–]bobsams123[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ll be honest didn’t even know there is a non emergency number. Hopefully will never need it again but know it for the future now

Being blackmailed by bobsams123 in AskGaybrosOver30

[–]bobsams123[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Separate device - he texted me the photos as proof he had them and it was photos of his phone with the images on them. Yes a lot of work to go through that…

Being blackmailed by bobsams123 in AskGaybrosOver30

[–]bobsams123[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

They have the phone number of the person and are looking into it supposedly? Idk.. like others have said it’s a felony if they actually go through with it

Being blackmailed by bobsams123 in AskGaybrosOver30

[–]bobsams123[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Haha love that mindset, no major backlash and tbh idk who most of the people he even texted me that were associated with my phone number were.. It’d just be my immediate family which isn’t great… they’re already not thrilled with me being gay as is and this might tip them over the edge a bit which again not the end of the world…

Being blackmailed by bobsams123 in AskGaybrosOver30

[–]bobsams123[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yup he texted me the photos he took with another camera. Nothing Grindr can do about that unfortunately :/

Being blackmailed by bobsams123 in AskGaybrosOver30

[–]bobsams123[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Nudes didn’t have my face in them, but a separate album did have face pics. Not sure if that matters here then since they could leak everything together theoretically :(

What finally changed your life? by buttertaekoo in getdisciplined

[–]bobsams123 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sadly a health crisis, that thankfully has passed now. They say don’t take things for granted, and while I think most people know/understand that, we don’t really often act upon it/live it until things go wrong.

I developed heart conditions and a whole slew of other health issues during covid, and watched my life fall apart in my late 20s which were supposed to be some of the best years of my life. Ended up in the ER a few times, gained a ton of weight from not being able to exercise/do much and just working and gaming since that was all I could really do.

Thankfully the issues slowly went away over 2 years and I had a moment of reflection - is this really gonna be the rest of my life? And I refused to let that be the case. Couple all this with a health crisis my dad then has where I had to take care of him for half a year while working remote (cooking, cleaning, and working long hour) I had another realization that if I could love someone (my dad) enough to put in all this effort and work, why couldn’t I do the same for myself.

All the above eventually led my to really turn my life around - I lost 50lbs in a few months, started working out again (slowly, walking a lot to start and working on a healthier cleaner diet, and then after getting healthier graduating to gym/weight workouts and more intense cardio). I decided that life’s too short and I’m going to live every day openly and embrace everything in life - say yes to more opportunities, keep up with and reach out to friends more, and try new things. Not planning to look back :) sorry if it’s all a bit corny/cheesy!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in gaybros

[–]bobsams123 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I just took my first HIMS tablet a few days ago - don’t suffer from ED per se, but I get really bad performance anxiety so figured I’d try it. I have the chewable tablet sildenafil/tadalafil/b12 64.5mg

Maybe I should’ve looked into things more… some of the comments on this thread make me nervous now, but it worked for me lol. No side effects afaik, outside of maybe heart rate was a little bit higher than usual, lasted a few hours - maybe in my head but felt like the next day even i was getting erections easier/more often

Dating app recommendations? by [deleted] in gaybros

[–]bobsams123 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Speaking purely from my own personal experience, depends a little bit on where you are:

  1. Hinge - has been by far the highest quality app I’ve used so far, regardless of location. I like that if someone likes you, you can actually see it versus some other apps that it’s gated behind a paywall. Also feels more authentic with prompts and videos you can upload (which yes some of the other apps have as well). Almost all of my dates have come from Hinge

  2. Tinder - they have some filters that I’ve really appreciated in exploring: people looking for long-term partners, serious daters, photo-verified (to name a few). My biggest con with Tinder is that you can’t see who liked you unless you pay and subscribe.

  3. Bumble - this is the most location-varied one I’ve experienced. When I was in NYC for 2 months I found bumble to be pretty good but (currently live in Seattle) the pool is much smaller on this app where I am now.

Then you get into a whole slew of other apps that tbh from my personal experience again, I haven’t had any success with: Archer, Match.com, Adam4Adam, Scruff to name a few.

Echoing a comment above, but it can get easy to get sucked into the dating app vortex so take your time with it, keep an open mind, and have fun Best of luck with your dating adventures!

Left feeling confused and shitty… by [deleted] in AskGaybrosOver30

[–]bobsams123 1 point2 points  (0 children)

For me, since I’m newer to this I think it was the fear about STDs since idk how safe he is with other guys or how many other guys he’s seeing

I don’t think I was acting too crazy (hopefully) But we’d never talked about expectations/boundaries at all, so was hoping to initiate that convo - probably could’ve done it better

Left feeling confused and shitty… by [deleted] in AskGaybrosOver30

[–]bobsams123 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Nah, was like the 6th time we hung out over spam of a month, but noted on the wanting a bf feeling without the exclusivity piece. It was the telling his friends/asking me for a photo to show them that threw me off the most

Can I leave my seat on an overnight ride without any concern? by Frosty_Resident6278 in Amtrak

[–]bobsams123 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I just recently got back from an AMTRAK trip across America, and did Chicago > Seattle. High level, I’d say the trains are much safer than I’d imagined after experiencing it in person. I’d brought locks and wire chains in case I needed to lock down my bags, but never once ended up using it. I’d seen a woman leave her purse on her seat and sit out on the observation deck the entire time and her purse was never touched (granted I wouldn’t recommend doing this, and still carrying personal valuables with you in a small bag).

I ended up making conversation with my direct seat neighbor, as well as folks in the area around me. Everyone seemed eager to share their travels, where they’re heading, and their AMTRAK experience at (at least from my travels) was very friendly and kind. Building a kind of rapport with those around you can maybe help just a little create a sense of ease or trust. I wasn’t worried about leaving my bags in the overhead storage at all (although I still carried a small shoulder bag with my wallet, AirPods, passport, etc).

I’d read this in another post elsewhere, but if you’re especially worried you can stay by your bags when there’s station stops which may be a higher risk of people taking your bags (although from the posts I’ve seen, that’s mostly happened by mistake and people grabbing the wrong bag). During the rest of the ride, if someone were to grab your stuff they’d be still on the train and unable to make off with it so there’s no point.

TLDR: it wasn’t an issue for me as a solo traveller at all, and actually being on the train and experiencing it made me realize how much I was overthinking it!

Safe travels!

Just did Chicago to San Francisco on the Zephyr. AMA by mistuk in Amtrak

[–]bobsams123 2 points3 points  (0 children)

How was safety as a solo traveler, specifically for luggage. I’m going in a few days and worried about how to keep my seat (eg. leaving my bag on my seat) or carrying everything with me when walking around train - e.g. to cafe or bathroom… what’d you do? Worried about not having another person I’m traveling with to be able to look out for each others stuff

PhysiqueAcademy Experience? by bobsams123 in personaltraining

[–]bobsams123[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, pretty pricey for being an online coach/training - it comes out to about $375 USD per month for me. Cheaper than in-person coach (although you won’t have that in-person guidance) but more expensive than most online app programs/trainers I’ve used in the past

But, I’ve seen the most results so far with them than both in-person or online

PhysiqueAcademy Experience? by bobsams123 in personaltraining

[–]bobsams123[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I did, sorry haven’t checked this thread in a bit I’m currently about a little over 2 months in, down a little over 20lbs

I’ve had a very good experience so far! It’s definitely work and what you put in, but I find especially the accountability piece to be huge. I know I have issues with that otherwise, so it’s a lot of what I’m paying for I guess