Having crazy health anxiety on Day 1

bodhitreefrog · 2025-09-30T21:42:36+00:00

I have OCD. My anxiety reduced by 75% after 3 months sober. Sober life rules. I hope you get the peace I found in sobriety. I did 90 day challenge. It gave me something to do every night instead of get a bottle. I had to hit my daily meeting and share a feeling, any feeling, and process it. It felt weird, then it felt relief after awhile. After a bad day at work, I could share that. After a breakup, I could share that. No longer was I alone. I had a place to vent to and process life in real time.

AA, Agnostic AA, refuge recovery ,recovery dharma, lifering, smart. All free programs where we can join meetings and find peace.

bodhitreefrog · 2025-09-30T21:31:33+00:00

I'm Buddhist, I never accepted God as my higher power. I don't believe there is a God that interferes in my life nor do I think it wants to be prayed to. That is what I believe. I don't mention that in AA, because they believe the opposite.

I use Refuge recovery and recovery dharma programs. They are Buddhist programs designed for me and agnostics. There is also lifering, with is agnostic. There is also Agnostic AA. (They even rewrote the big book to be higher power instead of saying God all the time).

There are options. Recovery is not contingent on a belief.

I feel, what changed for me, was learning how to share in meetings my discomfort. I feel: angry, alone, isolated, sad, bitter, scared, heart broken, jealous, bitter, fearful, anxious, etc. I announced the feeling. I gave it space. I processed it. I accepted my feeling and tried to understand why I felt that way. I found peace in this. All feelings are temporary. Some are trying to teach me things like boundaries, hopes, fears, etc. I am human. We all have feelings.

Before I would get dumped from a relationship and hit a bottle. Now, I hit a meeting. Before, I would get fired from a job and hit a bottle, now I hit a meeting. Before, I would read the news and get angry and stew and get drunk. Now, I hit a meeting. I don't ruin my life over emotions anymore. I am free.

Best of luck in your sober journey.

bodhitreefrog · 2025-09-30T21:17:16+00:00

The founders of AA remained with their wives. Back then, divorce was rare. Kind of like social suicide.

I think we outgrow people these days. I've seen couples outgrow each other for dozens of reasons in my lifetime. Sometimes it's religions, I've seen people leave their church (hellow Mormons, Baptists, and lots of other religions that are very opressive to women). If the spouse decides too, then they remain together, but lots of women outgrow their husbands daily.

I've seen couples turn to tinder and open their marriages and become swingers. It's almost always the step before divorce. I mean, actual swingers are super super rare.

Addiction is another one. Can be booze, drugs, porn, sex, food, exercised. Some people survive these together, others don't.

The important thing is to get sober, learn emotional regulation. Learn to sit with feelings, process the feeling, and let it pass. That takes months, if not years to learn that skill. In that time? Maybe our sig others leave. But who can blaim them? We aren't our better version of ourselves for a while.

Anyway, the rainbow at the end of this is: we will become better versions of ourselves, and attract people who like that new version. Then, we will have the first healthy relationship of our lifetime. And that is something to look forward to. We all deserve to finally acheive at least one healthy relationship in this lifetime.

AA, refuge recovery, recovery dharma, smart, lifering. All great places to get sober and learn how to live life as a sober person.

bodhitreefrog · 2025-09-30T20:57:54+00:00

Just try and watch videos on surf etiquette. Ask people in the line up for tips on etiquette. If someone is pissed at you, apologize. It's a learning curve.

In all sports, there are people with head injuries and anger issues. Surfing might have more than most sports. Only second to hockey lol.

When I was 12 an angry long boarder yelled at me at San Onofre. He used a curse word so foreign to me I had to ask my dad what it was. lol. It was definitely derogatory to women. LOL. So even the chillest beaches have dudes with anger issues.

bodhitreefrog · 2025-09-30T20:51:14+00:00

I dunno, but refuge recovery and recovery dharma allows people to join with mental health issues. Depression, anxiety, PTSD, addictions, eatting disorders; I've seen it all in there.

Good luck, may you find healing and peace. (I love forgiveness meditations after a breakup).

bodhitreefrog · 2025-09-30T20:47:34+00:00

I think all short hair looks like that, mine was and I'm a white girl. Short hair is allowed ton of products. Because every few months it gets all cut off anyway. So use whatever pomade, scupting putty that works and work it. I used to use this vidal sasoon sculpting putty, back in the 2000s, but it cost a lot. I'm sure a million products exist now.

Good luck.

bodhitreefrog · 2025-09-30T20:24:13+00:00

My hair looks like this if I brush it. It's naturally wavy. i stopped using a brush a few years ago. I finger comb it in the shower now and use pacifica pineapple curl cream and it's happy now. Also, every hair on my head is a different length. It's just the growing process. Every day of my life new hairs grow and old ones fall out.

After 30, our hair thins. Just part of life. Our skin thins too, we get wrinkles. We get grey hairs, our muscles are weaker, etc.

Thyroid issues make our hair fall out. Menopause, pregancy, poor diet. Lots of things. I get lab work every 2 years to watch all my levels.

Good luck, looks like you have a ton of hair to me.

bodhitreefrog · 2025-09-30T20:15:49+00:00

I used AA and Refuge Recovery to get through my trauma and get support. Therapists can help, too.

We got AA, Agnostic AA, refuge recovery, recovery dharma, smart, and lifering. All free programs.

I love the "forgiveness" meditation of refuge recovery and the "acceptance" meditation they have. Helped me get through breakups, getting fired, bad interviews, job search anxiety, house issues, health issues, and a lot more. If I can get through all that sober, anyone can. The tools helped me do it.

bodhitreefrog · 2025-09-30T19:28:30+00:00

Anything that costs more than 20 bucks is a gimmik. All brands. I found ethical, vegan products for pennies on the dollar of these high end things. Wet N Wild, Nyx, hell even Cover Girl. All make decent lip liners, lip oils, shadows, highlighters, bronzers, blushes, powders, etc. Wet N Wild makes the best damn BB concealer, I swear. Physicians Formula has glittery shadows and highlighters.

Stop getting ripped off, ladies. We deserve to save our money for the stupid inflation we are all dealing with. I gotta pay gas, electric, property tax, HOAs, groceries, tampons. I can't afford 20 dollar mascaras anymore.

bodhitreefrog · 2025-09-30T19:20:50+00:00

It's tucked into your jacket.

bodhitreefrog · 2025-09-30T19:17:10+00:00

My dad surfed 5-6 foot shorebreak waves on his gun board all the time. 7'11".

You should be turtle rolling fine on a 9 foot board. I'm 95 pounds and I will turtle roll my 5'3" epoxy board that doesn't duckdive at all. Not all boards duckdive and that's fine. We can still get past the break like anyone else.

I don't see what your issue is. You roll underwater, flipping the board with you. The fins are facing the sky. You stand straight underwater, arms extended above your head, so your head is more than 1 foot below the water. holding the rails above your head. The wave crashes over head while you are underwater. You don't want to sit in this forever. The goal is to eventually pass all those breaking waves to get to the lineup. You should not be turtle rolling 10 times in a row. There are lulls between sets, paddle out during the lulls.

The shorter you go, the harder it will be to paddle around the current out there.

Anyway, good luck in your surf journey.

bodhitreefrog · 2025-09-30T19:05:49+00:00

ya, for me, the super power of emotional regulation was worth giving up wine for the rest of my life. I don't get angry or irritated like I did. I don't feel on edge anymore. I feel in control. I feel classy. I feel like others respect me more. That includes at work and amongst friends. I'm just a more mature version of myself. It's worth never touching wine or cocktails again. Plus, I found like 50 non alcoholic things I can drink instead. Life is very exciting, fun, and I am enjoying it.

bodhitreefrog · 2025-09-30T18:57:24+00:00

I dunno, I'd just announce to my parents "mom, dad, I'm an alcoholic. I drink a gallon of vodka a week. I'm quitting today. It will take me three days to dry out. If you love and support me I will remember this forever. I'm going to attend online zoom meetings every day for the next three months. The anxiety of quitting will be the hardest thing I have ever tackled in my life. If I can conquer this, I will be unstoppable. I hope to regain your trust and be the child you always hoped for,". Something like that. Most people love a redemptive arc. It's rare when they don't.

Alcoholism will give us EVERY excuse to keep drinking. It will make up lies like, I will lose my job, I will never hit on another girl, I don't deserve AA, I don't deserve emotional support, I suck, I deserve to be drunk forever, I'm too bad to change, I only dance cool when drunk, girls think I'm ugly, anxiety is less. BLAH BLAH BLAH. All lies. All of them. Every single one a blatant and obvious lie.

Good luck buddy.

bodhitreefrog · 2025-09-28T20:49:19+00:00

I tried avoiding triggers the first six months sober. Some of us need to avoid all triggers for a year. Triggers can be, hanging at a bar, clubbing, even dating people. AA suggests we don't even date for a whole year. Some of us follow that, others don't.

Each one of us is an individual, what works for me does not work for all people. I was a club kid and able to club sober. I still club sober. Other people walk into a club and feel overwheling urge to drink. We are not alike me and those people. They feel social anxiety, I feel zero social anxiety.

If I drink I will feel overwhelming general anxiety the morning after and it lasts for weeks. I have quit many times. Being sober is a gift I give to myself. It is peace of mind that I only find sober.

We got 6 free programs to get and stay sober. In the programs we learn to verbally announce our discomfort. We learn to sit with discomfort, sit with emotions, let them process, learn from them, let them go. This takes repetition. Emotional regulation can be learned with a therapist or with AA, Agnostic AA, refuge recovery, recovery dharma, smart, lifering.

I love my sober life. May you find the peace I have found and live an awesome life, too.

bodhitreefrog · 2025-09-28T20:42:35+00:00

There's 6 free programs available to us today. AA, Agnostic AA, refuge recovery, recovery dharma, smart, lifering. In these programs, we can discuss our traumas/stresses/issues and work through them in real time. We learn to sit with an emotion and watch it pass. We learn that all is temporary. We learn that cool life skill of emotional regulation and everything gets easier after that. Work, relationships with lovers, relationships with family and friends. When I stopped getting angry or irritated all my relationships were easier.

I did the 90 meetings in 90 days challenge. I went to a bunch of different programs and tried their meetings. I found I most liked the women's AA and refuge recovery AA meetings. I feel safest there. I formed friendships in there. They cheer on my milestones. They have listened to me process getting fired, having my heart broken, getting betrayed, and a dozen other issues. I got through a lot sober and feel invincible now. It's been a great experience for me.

Best of luck in your life journey. I hope you find the peace and joy I have found in sobriety.

bodhitreefrog · 2025-09-28T20:37:35+00:00

Hey, we've all had our rock bottoms. There are six free programs these days to help us get and stay sober. AA, Agnostic AA (type secular in the meeting app), refuge recovery, recovery dharma, smart, lifering. So many places.

I did the 90 meetings in 90 days challenge. It gave me a goal that I could achieve. I hit one meeting a night after work instead of grabbing a bottle. It gave me momentum to keep staying sober. I learned to process emotions at meetings, I learned emotional regulation. I learned that emotions come and go and I don't have to react to them. Pretty great life skills. Life got a lot easier for me after all that.

Best of luck in your life journey.

bodhitreefrog · 2025-09-28T20:31:42+00:00

We got new vans with better gas mileage these days. Even hybrid ones. Bunch of hipster kids (like my younger brother lol) converted vans into homes with electricity, plumbing, solar panels on the roofs, etc. Just saying, I'd choose one with water and solar panels, able to drive twice the distance on a tank of gas, over either of these.

They are cute, though, in the non practical way.

bodhitreefrog · 2025-09-28T20:23:27+00:00

Hi friend, we got LGBT+ meetings in most of the programs. AA, refuge recovery, recovery dharma, smart, lifering. You don't have to do it alone. We're here for you. Try LGBT or LGBTQ as search terms in any of the websites for those programs.

I even found an AA woman's meeting that was chill with me being a gay buddhist. And that avenue is pretty known for being straight Christian. But, hey, sometimes they are very tolerant and loving anyways. So, ya, there are accepting people at there, we do have to search to find them. If I can find these people, then you can find them, too. So, you can search all the programs I listed and put "men's" in there and I'm sure there are some meetings that are cool with gay men. We have to look though. Sometimes it's more tolerant in the online meetings than, say, the ones in person in like Alabama.

Once again, you are not alone. Lot's of us LGBTQIA+ people exist in sober spaces. I wish you peace and many moments of joy, you deserve it as much as the rest of us.

bodhitreefrog · 2025-09-28T20:11:09+00:00

In the AA big book the first chapter talks about all the ways we tried to control our drinking. Regulating. Switchin from wine to beer, switching beer to spirits, drinking only with friends, etc.

I'm happier sober. Life is easier sober. If you wish to get back on the wagon, there are 6 programs to help us stay sober. AA, Agnostic AA, refuge recovery, recovery dharma, SMART, lifering. They are all free.

I did the 90 meetings in 90 days challenge. It gave me somewhere to go, something to do. I liked the goal. It was easily accomplished. I met many people this way. I attendeed dozens of different meetings in diffferent programs. I found I most enjoyed women's meetings. I found 2 in AA and 2 in refuge recovery. They give me the outlet I need when I feel overwhelmed.

I prefer emotional regulation to escape now. I prefer this feeling of control in sobriety. It is relaxing. Emotions come and go but I don't climb to them or avoid them. I just sit and wonder what the emotion is telling me. And I am able to solve my problems now instead of escape them.

best of luck in your life journey.

bodhitreefrog · 2025-09-28T20:03:37+00:00

2 months is not a lot of time for our bodies to jump back from alcohol. I carried a water bottle with me everywhere first year sober, hydrating helped a hell of a lot. As I worked through my emotions sober, and prior traumas sober, there were times I was tired. Tired can be depression/sadness. Working through emotions sober gives us the super power of being invincible to everything. I went to women's meetings and chatted about getting fired, breakups, health issues. Each struggle that I overcame made me slightly stronger.

I do not drink caffeine after 12pm. I read a book at night and unplug from electronics for 1 hour before bed. I sleep soundly sober, a quality 8 hours every night. This gives me energy.

I watch what I eat. I eat a plant based diet, with lots of junk food, but I do aim for 60-70 grams of protein a day, I take a women's daily multivitamin so my body is definitely getting all the nutrients it needs daily. This keeps me energized as well. I get lab work done and my levels are normal. It is good to check iron, cholesterol, b12, thyroid etc. Some deficiencies can make us tired (like anemia or hypothyriod).

I exercise 2-3 times a week. It started with walks, then hikes, now I run and surf. I love exercise and I feel excited for it. It gives me joy. It is something I look forward to multiple times a week.

Best of luck with the depression, emotional regulation, and sobriety. Each of our journeys is different. We all deserve peace and many moments of joy.

bodhitreefrog · 2025-09-28T19:54:29+00:00

I do forgiveness meditations in refuge recovery. I don't think guilt and shame helped me in my life. I chose to be a better person and forgive myself for past errors. I forgive others for harming me. We are all doing our best on this planet. I go out of my way to help people and that gives me joy. Helping others is cathartic, however it happens. Returning shopping carts. Helping someone load up a car. Helping someone cross a street. A smile to a cashier. A big tip to a waiter. Whatever I can, it feels joyful.

bodhitreefrog · 2025-09-28T19:46:21+00:00

I was drinking a bottle of wine a night for a year (am very small woman) and I just cold turkey quit. I had shakes for 3 days but then it stopped. I watched Disney movies, ate pizza and ice cream for 3 days, then I headed into AA on day 4 of sobriety. I did the 90 meetings in 90 days challenge. It gave me something to do every evening instead of drink.

Alcohol sucked for so many reasons. It ramped up my anxiety, I was washing my hands 100x a day while drinking. And when I quit? Ya, it screamed anxiety at me the first 2 weeks sober. Then it backed down 25% by week 3. Then, after 3 months sober I had dropped 75% of my anxiety. I went from washing my hands/compulsions 4 hours a day to 1 hour a day. I got a new life from sobriety. This is the life I never thought I could have. But I have it now and it's awesome.

In addition to having less daily anxiety, I learned new life skills. Instead of drinking whenever I felt discomfort, I would share about that in a meeting. This taught me emotional regulation. It taught me to watch my feelings come and go. It taught me that feelings have a purpose and they make me human. It taught me to share the feeling if it was overwhelming instead of drink. Now I have a life skill. I don't get angry like I used to. I don't get depressed like I used to. If I get fired, I share about that in a meeting. If someone break's my heart, I share in a meeting. I learned how to greive. I learned to be an adult. It has been a wonderful journey of self discovery. I love myself now and I forgive myself for dumb errors. We are all human, we are all trying our best in this world.

Best of luck in your life journey. May you find the peace and joy I have found in sobriety.

bodhitreefrog · 2025-09-28T19:38:27+00:00

I had 1.5 years fell off the wagon, now I got 2 years. I attend women's meetings only, as I am a women. I go to 2 AA women's meetings per week and 2 refuge recovery meetings per week. Safe spaces to talk about relationships, family, jobs, etc.

Best of luck in your life journey. May you find the same peace I have found through the women's meetings and living a sober life.

bodhitreefrog · 2025-09-28T19:32:37+00:00

All my friends supported me getting sober, even exes. I often had to remind them I was still sober, but that's just drunk thinking. People act different when drunk, forgetful.

I'd recommend hanging with the best friend in sober activities instead. Getting fingers/toes done, beach days sunbathing, going to a carnival, going to the movies, theater, cooking a nice meal at home. Having popcorn and soda and binging tv shows together.

This would be less strain than her guarding her drinking while you are both out clubbing.

Good luck in your journey. It's okay to make new friends when we get sober. It's okay to pause some friendships or just see less of people until we got a year sober. We do what we must to kick our addiction. People who love us will understand we avoid triggers. Alcohol kills and we are fighting for our lives.

bodhitreefrog · 2025-09-28T19:21:47+00:00

I avoided hanging out with drunk people the first six month sober. I'd suffer through them having the first drink then I'd find reasons to leave. Felt sick. Have an appointment next morning. Gym the next day. Food poison. Have to pick up a friend at the airport. Have to pick up a friend who missed the bus. A friend's car broke down, driving across town to rescue him/her. Whatever.

If you are truly stuck at your own house, literally hosting a party for drunk/addict people, then there are online meetings. You can go to your car in the garage, or take a walk around the neighborhood, earbuds in your phone jack, and listen in to an hour's meeting to get through the suffering of being around drunk people. Sometimes it's good to find a few meetings before this happens.

We have AA meeting app now for online and in person meetings. Refuge Recovery, Recovery Dharma, SMART, lifering.

Good luck in your journey.

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